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Ian Jane
04-07-2011, 10:56 AM
So, we watch Another Chinese Cop last night. Here's the cover art:

http://hkmdb.com/db/images/movies/8143/AnotherChineseCop+1996-1-b.jpg

It looks like a hardboiled crime film, right? The kind they were pumping out en masse during HK Cinema's glory days? The kind that Anthony Wong tended to appear in? He looks pretty tough on the cover. I wouldn't mess with him - look at all those bullets and that blood! Surely this will be a tense and suspenseful motion picture with action and violence and antiheroes who work just outside the law to catch the bad guys.

Or maybe not. Maybe, instead, Anthony Wong and Billy Chan will refer to one another as Bald Head and BBQ Bun. Maybe they'll 'dipsomaniac' in the course of conversation and maybe they'll try to pick up chicks. Maybe Billy Chan's brother will have a hot girlfriend in the form of Diana Pang who will not only seductively lick her lips and dry hump a bed post while wearing the most god awful lingerie you've ever seen, but maybe she'll be a night club singer too. If she is, certainly she'll dance a lot.

Dry humpin' time:

http://i.ytimg.com/vi/H4dpapptudA/0.jpg

Anthony Wong and his mullet:

http://www.tigercinema.com/images/extra_images/pic_sAJnL5_1157648003.jpg

So yeah, Anthony Wong and Billy Chow are cops. Chinese cops. They have a friend named Tortoise and decide that Billy Chow's character needs to find a woman. For some reason a cute reporter chick from Hong Kong is hanging around them a lot and Billy Chow doesn't immediately realize that he's going to end up with her like the rest of us do. They try to set him up with a chick named Chinny but Anthony Wong calls her an old hag for some reason. That doesn't go over so well.

Later Anthony Wong plays guitar and sings in a restaurant. As they go about trying to score a chick for Billy Chow, Chow's brother is kidnapping people and attaching bombs to them. These bombs are easy to defuse though, you just have to cut all the wires and that's it. At any rate, some stuff explores and Billy Chow's brother is a martial arts master who kicks people. Diana Pang vamps it up and has a lot of accessories in her wardrobe. She wears big earrings and has gold chains and stuff.

SPOILERS:

Billy Chow ends up with the cute reporter chick who, from a certain angle, looks like Yoko Ono at one point. He stops her from being blown up.

END SPOILERS:

This movie is very bad.

Ian Jane
04-07-2011, 11:04 AM
Dry humping video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-gAPdkVaNw).

Alison Jane
04-24-2011, 06:39 AM
It was bad. So bad. I think Anthony Wong must've lost a bet. That's what I tell myself so I can sleep at night.

Mike T
04-24-2011, 10:05 PM
I think Anthony Wong must've lost a bet.

Fact: actors have to eat, pay the bills and ensure their families have a roof over their head too. Tony, like similar superb actor Francis Ng, has never been shy of saying that he appeared in a lot of "shit" (his words, not mine) because he needed the money. ;)