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View Full Version : Making a porno - a photo diary (NSFW)



Dom D
10-30-2019, 03:54 AM
Okay so I don't have the good NSFW shots here yet as we haven't begun shooting but I plan on adding to this thread for the next year as we swing into production. At the moment this is just kind of a mental dumping ground for me. I just wanted to get thoughts on paper so I remember them later and I figured, hell, given the dodgy sorts that make their way through this board that this story might be of interest to some.

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/48984720597_cc0f6e9d26_c.jpg

Porn is illegal in Australia. It’s illegal to buy it, it’s illegal to sell it and it’s sure as shit illegal to make it. There is no local industry. There are very few places in the world worse for trying to mount a major porn project than in Australia but we knew from the start that we would have to shoot this film in Australia. I look after my brother who has cerebral palsy 7 days a week and theere's no way I could leave him to go off to LA for two weeks to make my porno dreams come true. Hell, I haven’t had so much as a weekend away from him in about 8 years. Two weeks? No chance…

But making this film in Oz is tricky. We just don’t have the Talent and I knew my key cast would have to come from the US. So, in the definition of a Mountain to Mohammed scenario we put together this deal: We cover all flights, transfers and accommodation. We put you up in luxury in Melbourne for 10 days and you shoot with us for 5. We pay your quoted rate (quoted rate being quite a different number than the one they actually usually receive day to day) and a few hundred bucks a day on top of that to cover inconvenience. Seems like a solid deal yeah? You’d be surprised. Getting names on paper for this thing has been like pulling teeth. We’re treated with suspicion at every point. And then it’s just so hard to nail things down. I’m 75 emails deep with one agent. I’m writing to her again later tonight. We’re still circling each other.

*****

“Research” on this film has been a curious process. Mostly it involves me and the girlfriend sitting on the couch, pen and paper in hand, with a laptop in front of us streaming Pornhub to the big screen while we debate the finer points of casting like “does it affect Lionel’s character if the actor playing him has a 12 inch cock?” (for the record we agreed it did and scratched the actor from our list). It’s a frustrating process because it’s rare that the performers ever stop to talk and so it’s hard to get a feel for their personality or acting range. We quickly realised that brother/sister films are where you go for the serious capital “A” Acting. The perversion in a Fauxcest (I’m up with all the industry lingo man) scene doesn’t play if the cast don’t do the whole
“What are you doing in my lingerie drawer?!”
“Ohhh… ah… I was just looking for my phone.”
“I’m going to tell mum!”
“Don’t do that. I’ll do anything!”
“….anything…?”
scene. Anyway, how well they play that well mined piece of classic material is how you judge your casts thespian skills on a porno.

[url=https://flic.kr/p/2hCxD5u]https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/48983967888_303e9a6423_c.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/2hCBuQe)

I was on the phone to LA with a well known male pornstar and he had this to say “But what is this? I’m sitting here with a 90 page screenplay in front of me. There’s got to be 15 sex scenes in this film. Is it going to run for 7 hours?” I quickly explained that there were no 25 minute sex scenes in my film, we were, I explained, doing this 70s style.

It was shortly after that that I realised that the term “70s style” means nothing now. Those films are so dead and gone that no one remembers them, not even those in the biz. Porn is now thought of entirely in terms of scenes. You can talk about Misty Beethoven or Tegn films as influences all you like, no one’s seen them. This is a key point, it has taken me by surprise, and I’m still working out the correct shorthand to sketch in my film for people I need to convince of it’s merits.

*****

Pornstars get real busy around September/October. It’s award season with the deadline for AVN Awards falling on the 30th of October. Do not underestimate how seriously this is taken. This makes communication difficult. One of our key contacts we thought we’d have going in was a local Mega Star in the porn scene who could hook us up with contacts. Never really happened. September/October is not spent in front of a laptop answering emails if you’re a Star. It’s spent being gangbanged six ways from Sunday because no way is she letting anyone else win the years top performer award. It’s a different kind of life…

*****

The first, and most difficult task, on this film was to engage a male pornstar. My male lead needs to be an experienced professional in the industry, a capable actor and, most importantly, funny. Tricky… Now as Alex K will happily tell you, I am not “With It” and so with that set of criteria I knew there were only two names in the biz who could play this part. It had to be James Deen or it had to be Tommy Pistol. Well it turns out Deen got #MeToo’ed into oblivion and is now retired and farming Capybara on a small ranch in Colorado (or something… I’m vague on the details). Meanwhile Tommy Pistol is 43 and sports a magnificent Dad Bod. He also, and this is key, doesn’t reply to my emails.

[url=https://flic.kr/p/2hCAwgb]https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/48984530296_b6cfdf623f_c.jpg

It’s a well known bit of trivia that male pornstars get paid a mere 70% that their female counterparts command (#feminism). It’s an odd point that is seemingly accepted without question. However, the males are as in demand, have a rarer skill set and are outnumbered 10-1 in the biz. Porn, it’s where the laws of Supply and Demand Economics go to die.

*****

“Logan or Seth…. Seth or Logan….” This circular refrain occupied a large proportion of my waking moments a few months back. Seth was Seth Gamble. Logan being Logan Pierce. One of them, god willing, destined to be the leading man in my film but which one? Seth is the more famous; the one who will help sell the film once done (and boy do I need to sell this film. Every cent I have and more is going into this). While Logan… I just had a damned good feeling about Logan. I spoke with Agents and both were in budget and both available. No help there. We contacted an LA producer contact who had worked with both for advice. No help there either. Both, we were told, were professionals, both get the job done. In the end I couldn’t decide and made it a committee decision. I think they made the right decision. It took a while, it took a long while, but we got our first choices signature on a contract. Fist pump!

[url=https://flic.kr/p/2hrmE7c]https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/48857343663_09be46e51a_c.jpg

I’m currently building the credits for the film in 3DS Max. It takes roughly an hour to render a single frame. There’s 24 frames in a second so it’s takes a day for a second of footage all going well- things frequently don’t go well. The credits run for 2 1/2 minutes. While rendering, all 32 threads of my CPU are running at 100%. There’s a corner of the room that is appreciably warmer at the moment. Probably that doesn’t matter… but I’m excited to see my next electricity bill…

****

A few times in this I’ve talked about “contacts” in LA like I’m a hooked up dude who runs the scene. Such is very much not the case. I know no one. I can do every job on a film set from preproduction to post but I have no porn industry experience. My girlfriend and I knew going in that we would need help from someone in the know. It so happened that years ago my films sometimes played at a little festival called the Sexy International Film Festival and I’d gotten to know the guy who ran it a little. A very little. I hadn’t spoken to him in about 10 years. I’d switched from films to photos and he’d switched from festivals to running Sexpo, a huge event where they run stage shows, hosted sex shops and, importantly, brung out porn talent from the USA to sign posters and DVD boxes. Long story short, told him about the project, shared the script and he’s in and invaluable throughout. When I say “our contacts” I mean his contacts.

*****

Yesterday I lost my lead actress. I had been chasing her agent for a few weeks. There was a contract that was apparently signed but I hadn’t received it. Lost on the interwebs. I’m not in a position to be making demands so I was pussy footing around “I don’t think I’ve received that attachment. Can you send it through again please” and occasionally I’d get an assurance that it was on it’s way. Then yesterday I got the message that she doesn’t want to be in it anymore. More than that….

You know how I said there are few performers here? Well there are some. Some of them are even fucking hot (see below) and I was relying on them to fill out the cast.

[url=https://flic.kr/p/2hCxNzb]https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/48983999828_b6b16b0a91_c.jpg

Currently they all do porn on the side while Escorting brings in the real money. One thing I knew coming in was that at least I could count on the Aussies. They’re all shooting shit in hotels with handycams and I knew (itallics again for emphasis) that when I had the Americans in place I would contact them, tell them that the biggest Aussie porn flick ever was under preproduction, that we want YOU to come fuck famous US stars and get your underappreciated names in lights and I knew that they would flock to me. Even now when I’ve been frozen out, all emails unanswered, all calls unreturned, I still believe they must want to be part of this project. Why make porn if you don’t want to be part of a porno spectacular? I have no answers but bottom line is, it turns out, I can’t make this film in Australia.

*****

So everything is being started from scratch. Our small production team of 3 is off to LA in April. What about your brother Dom? Still very much a factor but I’m training people to do without me for a couple weeks. Walls have been ripped out of my mothers place to make room for hoists. I’m teaching feeding techniques. Honestly, I get that I'm being stupid and I don’t know why this film is so important to me. I thought making a period accurate 40s noir on a $10k budget was ambitious but that’s nothing compared to the difficulties what we’re coming up against on this film. The universe does not want this film made it seems. But the more push back I get the more key it feels.

Anyway feel free to talk to me about porn. Actors who should be engaged, common mistakes filmmakers make that you hate, whatever.

Mark Tolch
10-30-2019, 06:34 AM
I see "one hour render" and remember my college days. Those credits will take forever. Good for you for being so patient.

agent999
10-30-2019, 09:24 AM
I'd have quit by now. No wonder nobody makes narrative porn anymore, it sounds like sheep herding.

Could you get busted bringing the footage back into Oz, or would that be irrelevant in this age of digital files?

Dom D
10-30-2019, 03:09 PM
Could you get busted bringing the footage back into Oz, or would that be irrelevant in this age of digital files?

I would think so. At least I'm not going to risk it. While in LA I will need to find a fast internet connection and upload all the footage to the cloud. I hear you can find GB internet speeds out there. Once that's done I'll post the hard drives to myself.


I'd have quit by now. No wonder nobody makes narrative porn anymore, it sounds like sheep herding.

More like herding cats. If other people were making narrative porn then I probably wouldn't be driven to. I think it will be all smooth (smoother) sailing now that we're an LA production.

Dom D
10-30-2019, 03:10 PM
I see "one hour render" and remember my college days. Those credits will take forever. Good for you for being so patient.

I hear back on Transformers they were rendering a frame a day. I'm very used to watching the little render cubes dance acrosss the screen these days. It's hypnotic, like the old Windows screensavers.

Lalala76
10-30-2019, 03:53 PM
I thought the lesbian website "Girlsoutwest" was based and filmed in Australia, at least I think the "stars" are Australian.

Jason C
10-30-2019, 04:16 PM
interesting read. best of luck

Dom D
10-30-2019, 04:53 PM
I thought the lesbian website "Girlsoutwest" was based and filmed in Australia, at least I think the "stars" are Australian.

It is and they are. They're flying under the radar a bit but I would bet that bank accounts etc are based overseas. My producer has had a bit to do with them. He tells me those girls are not really going to be helpful as they're kind of militantly lesbian.

agent999
10-30-2019, 05:47 PM
Plus, the charming antipodean phrase 'swamp donkeys' springs to mind...

Dom D
10-30-2019, 06:05 PM
Plus, the charming antipodean phrase 'swamp donkeys' springs to mind...

I think that's a British term. I had to look it up anyway as I've not heard It. The local equivalent would be Bushpig.

agent999
10-30-2019, 06:17 PM
That's odd, I'd never heard it until I worked with a team of Aussies and Kiwis about 25 years ago.

Ian Jane
10-30-2019, 08:08 PM
I'd never heard it until now.

Dom D
10-31-2019, 10:38 PM
…and sometimes it all comes together very suddenly. Went to bed last night with nothing really. I was breaking my side of the contract with my male star so no guarantees he’d still be interested and my female star had just knocked us back. Woke up today to the news that Logan’s still in and Aaliyah has reconsidered given the relocation of shooting.

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/48857336653_864131a6db_c.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/2hrmC2k)

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/48857690521_1842655478_c.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/2hrordv)

Both are industry veterans though neither is probably as much a household name as some others we looked at. We decided though that getting the Right performers in the 2 central roles was more important than the biggest names. Logan struck us as the best actor working at the moment. While Aaliyah is just hilarious which safeguards the comedy in my film. The smaller roles will be used to get the bigger names involved. I want at least 2 of pornhubs top 10 most watched stars in those roles- and I already have a bite (well a nibble) on one.

Dom D
12-27-2019, 03:19 PM
Day one of filming complete. Lot of first time adventures. First time being DoP on my own film. First time being in charge of sound recording. First time shooting on a green screen. And first time shooting on a BMPCC4k which I hired on the morning on the shoot (very long story on why I still don't own one myself) and within 15 minutes of using it I managed to destroy it's USB port. Dying inside thinking about the conversation I'm going to have to have with the hire company. 5 years with my own gear and not a scratch on any of my cameras. 15 minutes with some elses and, bang, I knock an entire port into the body of the camera. Nice going Dom...

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49282131628_5ba22cc99c_c.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/2i5TNLC)
(behind the scenes snap of me taking some behind the scenes snaps).

Today I shot all the non-sex scenes that don't involve any of the main cast. About 12 or 13 pages all up. Next up LA.

I've been doing a lot of research on LA. It's an unfortunate place for the porn world to be centered. It's probably the least friendly place to shoot a porno in the United States- excepting those states with anti-sodomy laws. My condolences to any of you who live in one of those states and have to road trip for your sodomy. That's fucking terrible...

Just to turn on a camera in LA you need to pay Film LA $900US for a permit. Doesn't matter if you're making Aquaman or a youtube video in your bedroom, $900 up front for DAY 1, more again for the others. To get that permit you'll need $20 million in public liability insurance. Which isn't cheap. Then you need a special permit to film porn. That one will set you back $1,600.

So you're about $4.5k in the hole before you get going while if you go 3.5 hours drive up the road to Vegas you could do the same thing for free. Worse than the cost is this, when you register with Film LA they will have helpfully send a letter to all local residents and neighbours to inform them of the exact activities you'll be filming. Thanks guys. I can't possibly see how that could be a liability for a porn production... And of course on top of that it is illegal to film in LA without condoms. Try explaing to cast these days that they need a rubber. The industry had it's own solution to the STD issue with the PASS system- essentially an online database where everyone can see that everyone else has had a clean test within the last 2 weeks before they hop into bed together. By and large condoms are seen as at best a nanny state imposition in their eyes.

A lot of these obstacles were brought in in 2012. In 2012 there were 480 permits issued for pornographic productions in LA. In 2013 there were 24. The porn industry said it moved out of LA and thus cost LA county $6 billion in revenue. While there's no hard facts and figures the fact that pretty much everyone is still based in LA suggests something else might be going on. No one is too keen to put their hand up and say what but, suffice to say, I'll be doing it the way everyone else does it and not go into any more detail than that.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z74826ih4Ws&feature=youtu.be

Apart from that stuff work continues apace on the special effects. Banged this one out this week and was pretty happy with the way it came out. Basically just a 3d Orb with some NASA earth images wrapped around it but it's reasonably convincing I think and the bits that aren't convincing are kind of cool.

The Silly Swede
12-27-2019, 04:40 PM
Not very surprising about the fees in L.A.

It has always been my impression that americans are only about free trade in theory, but in reality is the most unionized, protective, self serving, moneygrabbing sons of bitches on the planet. (In all industries, just not film)

Alex K.
12-27-2019, 07:16 PM
The other porn capital is Miami.

Thomas Wood
12-27-2019, 09:37 PM
I can guarantee you there were more then 24 adult films produced in LA. Almost everyone either shoots in a studio or hides the filming.

Dom D
12-27-2019, 09:57 PM
I can guarantee you there were more then 24 adult films produced in LA. Almost everyone either shoots in a studio or hides the filming.

Indeed. I'd go further and gaurantee there were more than 480 in 2012 as well. What I find funny is that all the talent pretend that the exodus has happened, they rave on to reporters that LA is losing a fortune by not hosting porn anymore, and yet anyone of note in the industry is still living in the Valley. I guess everyone seems happy with the charade and I'm just a tourist so... whatever's right.

Dom D
12-27-2019, 09:59 PM
The other porn capital is Miami.

I did look at Miami. It does seem like a safer spot for it. Unfortunately we had no contacts there and, ultimately, I don't know the names of any stars who are not LA based. If you want to work with your Angela Whites and your Lacey Lennons then you need to go LA.

Alex K.
12-27-2019, 11:15 PM
I did look at Miami. It does seem like a safer spot for it. Unfortunately we had no contacts there and, ultimately, I don't know the names of any stars who are not LA based. If you want to work with your Angela Whites and your Lacey Lennons then you need to go LA.

Could have contacted Reality Kings over there.

Dom D
12-28-2019, 06:18 PM
Could have contacted Reality Kings over there.

Sure but we don't know them. In my experience people in this biz dont respond unless they know you. So far I've probably blind contacted maybe 20 stars or production people in different roles. I got one response from an agent that way, otherwise we've been ignored by everyone we didn't already have an "In" with.

It's understandable, I guess, even if it is frustrating. I think what happens is people in this business receive a mountain load of crap from weirdos, and hopefuls, and so ignore any contact except from people they know.

Ian Jane
12-30-2019, 12:02 PM
It's understandable, I guess, even if it is frustrating. I think what happens is people in this business receive a mountain load of crap from weirdos, and hopefuls, and so ignore any contact except from people they know.

I've experienced this even when reaching out to do interviews.

Thomas Wood
12-30-2019, 08:31 PM
There's been a few cases in recent years where a company has booked a girl and when the girl goes, the company does not exist and the person doing the booking is really a stalker so agents are wary about booking anyone to a company that is not known. Also, trying to book through a company, say Digital Playground, would not be helpful since they would view you as competition.

Dom D
12-30-2019, 10:15 PM
I've experienced this even when reaching out to do interviews.

Although if my memory is serving me correctly you did get an interview with Tommy Pistol once upon a time. So you've done one better than me there.

Ian Jane
12-31-2019, 12:46 PM
Although if my memory is serving me correctly you did get an interview with Tommy Pistol once upon a time. So you've done one better than me there.

That was years ago, pre-AVN award, but yeah, he was pretty easy to get a hold of back then.

Dom D
01-06-2020, 05:53 PM
There's really been nothing about this project that hasn't been more difficult than it should be. Currently trying to work out locations to shoot in- mostly sci fi looking apartments.

When the production was to be based in Melbourne this wasn't an issue. Melbourne is a city of glass skyscraper apartment towers. There's literally hundreds of the bastards crowding round each other and almost any of the apartments in them could, with a little set dressing, pass for my hero and heroines homes in the 23rd Century.

Los Angeles not so much. Few glassy apartment skyscrapers here. It's a suburban city. Very cool, very cinematic surburbia but pretty much the antithesis of a clean, Jetsons-esque future.

On top of that home owners are on the look out for you. A good percentage of Air BNBs state No Filming upfront. Every other one I've written to so far has said "strictly no filming or photography!" Yup even get exclamation marks and I hadn't even told them that the shooting in question was for porn. It's difficult...

Of course in LA there's a lot of locations that are there specifically as filming locations. They ALL state up front though "No Adult Productions". I am feeling unloved.

Again none of this is an issue in Melbourne. No one has a policy on filming here and it wouldn't even occur to anyone that you might be shooting porn because no one does.

Got to the point where I'm thinking of hiring an empty warehouse and having the sets built. I spent this morning designing one in CAD. I suspect though such a thing is outside my budget...Though if you happen to be an LA based builder or carpenter, hit me up.

Dom D
01-24-2020, 10:03 PM
Two steps forward one step back. Or is one step forward two steps back?

I may have mentioned that the girls in porn are most likely not in it for the money. There's fuck all money in for it them unless they want to spend 6 days a week on their back and, frankly, that's no life for a young lady.

There are much better sources of income available to them. I saw my contracted leading lady on Twitter the other day responding to a fan asking why she wasn't doing more scenes . "What's the point?" she said. "My "Only Fans" makes me $30,000 a month. Why waste a day fucking a stranger for $1,300 to make a film that gets pirated 1000 times in the first hour?" She makes a fair point.

Still it left me feeling a bit odd. How does that attitude affect her approach to my film? If she's possibly losing money working for me then what's our relationship on set? I passed the post onto Poppy, my partner in life as well as on the film. "Where does that leave us?" Poppy dived into her instagram and a moment later asked, "Why does she get her hair done in San Diego?"

San Diego?! I write to her agent. " Oh yeah, she moved out to San Diego a couple months back. She's no longer with our agency and she's not doing your film. Which of my other girls do you want?"

Well shit... you'd think someone would have told me... wouldn't you? I mean we had a contract... Now I need a new girl in a brutally hard to cast role and I can't even do anything about it at the moment as anyone who matters is currently hovering around the AVN awards where they're either drinking, drunk or hungover. Certainly no ones answering their phones. It's an odd biz.

BTW apologies for the lack of photos in this "photo diary". I promise once I arrive in LA on the 14th of April that will be rectified.

Mark Tolch
01-25-2020, 10:55 AM
Damn. That's a shitty situation.

Ian Jane
01-25-2020, 12:23 PM
I guess the contract would probably be pretty hard to enforce, huh?

Jason C
01-25-2020, 01:33 PM
Interesting stuff. Good luck

Dom D
01-25-2020, 03:07 PM
I guess the contract would probably be pretty hard to enforce, huh?

Yeah I always looked at it as less of a contract and more just a statement of intent. They're over there, I'm over here, it's basically impossible for either of us to sue each other for breach of contract.

It's a messy situation. Basically I'm in for the cost of the film no matter what but if an actor doesn't turn up, or fails their STI test the day before we shoot, then there's really nothing I can do. It's very precarious with a massive opportunity to fall on its face.

Dom D
01-25-2020, 04:38 PM
I think maybe the most annoying thing about losing my actress is I was doing all the storyboards with a character I made to look like her. Now I bet the role winds up being played by a pasty white girl with red hair and no tits and it's going to be very clear she was my second choice when she sees the storyboards featuring a large breasted black girl in a blonde wig. Saying that's most annoying thing is overstating it I suppose... but it is vexing.

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49440135213_089148d395_c.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/2ijRBJn)

Thomas Wood
01-25-2020, 08:00 PM
Well, a number of women (and some men) are known as being flaky. It's not uncommon for someone to not show up and you have to shoot around them until they either do show up or get someone else to do the part. Fred Olen Ray has told the story of someone (wish I could remember her name) showed up for the first two days of the shoot on a three day shoot but never showed up on the third day. She just decided she didn't want to work on it anymore, and this was on a softcore movie.

Years ago, Jim Holliday wanted to make each girl pay a deposit to ensure they showed up. Needless to say, he quickly retreated after the uproar that happened over that idea.

Dom D
01-26-2020, 12:11 AM
Well, a number of women (and some men) are known as being flaky.

We've actually got a producer contact in LA who works with them all who we consult with on that stuff. "You can't use her, she's always high. He can't get it up half the time. Her? She'll turn up but you'll wish she hadnt" etc. Not getting to meet them until a couple days before shooting it's pretty necessary.

Dom D
02-07-2020, 03:05 AM
Been casting pretty steadily over the last couple weeks. Mostly that involves watching ridiculous amounts of porn with the girlfriend, trying to divine who can act and who we'll enjoy spending time with from videos with titles like "Anal gape takes huge cock". It ain't easy or in any way logical... Casting a real movie we used to just get anyone interesting in, get a feel for them in person, have them read our lines. None of that's doable on a porno. A phone call or a couple emails is the best you can hope for. Plus we're dealing with their agents first who typically use pidgeon English and so we're constantly trying to disentangle even what it is they are trying to say.

On the plus side, it's a small and very busy industry. Want to know whether your 2 leads will have chemistry and play well together? Well, odds are strong you can be watching them have sex with one another within one google search. You can't do that on a Hollywood feaure!

Anyway, it's almost killed us, but we're finally almost there on the key central quartet as to Logan Pierce we add Emma Hix, Kira Noir and Seth Gamble. Still waiting on a confirmation from Seth but I feel good vibes. All are veterans. Emmas ridiculously hot. Kira, is hilarious and one of only a handful of stars I actually enjoying watching perform. And Seth is maybe the biggest male name in the industry and a damned fine comic performer. So... getting there.

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49499661268_6fe77a848f_c.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/2iq7GKE)

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49500161616_4b28d963ee_c.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/2iqagum)

RDP
02-07-2020, 10:50 AM
Interesting read, thank you for sharing your story.
I would be interested in how you're planning to promote your finished movie? Do you have a specific target group?
You're drawing inspiration from the 70s/Golden age porn movies, narrative driven feature-length productions, a style that is in stark contrast to the modern hardcore pornography.
As you wrote even people within the industry pretty much forgot about their origin which of course reflects the consumers behavior/preferences.

Does it even make sense nowadays to target the average pornhub user with such a production? Misty Beethoven and the such probably rings a bell at cult movie communities like ours more than anywhere else.
Sounds like a complicated undertaking to me :dunno:

Matt H.
02-07-2020, 10:54 AM
That ass...

Dom D
02-07-2020, 05:13 PM
Does it even make sense nowadays to target the average pornhub user with such a production? Misty Beethoven and the such probably rings a bell at cult movie communities like ours more than anywhere else.
Sounds like a complicated undertaking to me :dunno:

Indeed! It's a tricky one. Ultimately I'm doing this as art piece. I love the script and I want to see the movie. If I lose all my money then I start again. I've had an empty bank account before. But I do want it to find an audience becaause then it's been a proper entrepenurial effort rather than just a hobby. Also this is kind of my statement about what porn should be. i think it's gone to a very depressing place. Some of the best evenings I've had involved settling down a bottle a cognac, some cigars, my woman and a good, say, Tegn movie. Once in a while people should be enjoying their porn like that and hopefully on the back of this a few people do.

You're right though, I don't think the average pornhub user has any interest in what I'm doing at all. They're not our market. I don't have a cohesive plan yet but things that occur to me:

-I'll be selling it through a dedicated website. $USD10 to download or stream it on the site $18 dollars for bluray/UHD.
-Every man I tell about this project says, "what the hell are you doing? You don't watch a whole film and if you do you're doing it wrong." Girls on the other hand are excited. They want to watch porn but they are repulsed by the front page at porn hub. Women love a raunchy comedy too. I think Lexx is probably the only sci fi series ever where the viewers were predominantly female. Barbarella similarly. I think that's my prime market. letting them know is going to be difficult.
-To break even I'll probablyneed to sell about 4,000 copies. Porns a universal language. There's 7,000,000,000 people in the world. I believe the markets there for something better.
-I'm going to be trying to be covered in the mainstream press. I'll get a publicist etc. Newspapers love to write about porn but they only have one story. How it's turning kids into porn addicts. Giving people body image issues and leading to a decline in people having sex overall. For Australian papers I think the idea of the first big scale Australian porno, that's the porn equivalent of family friendly, made by a couple locals who risked it all on a jaunt to LA with no experience at all is a story. I get one good article in a well distributed paper and I could be on my way. My second film got on the front of a newspaper and a bunch of my stage stuff has been covered inside at various times so it doesn't seem unrealistic.
-I've got a character who's like Mr Wilson in Home Improvement. You never see him but you do hear his voice. I want a high profile voice who's name will perk up the ears of mainstream audiences. i have an idea on that one...

Ultimately it's all about letting people know that's it's different which goes into the advertising. We've got a lot of plans for that. Illustrated posters. Infomercial videos from the future. Very unconventional trailers. That's stuff is going to be super fun but I don't let myself think about it too much at this point.

Scott
02-07-2020, 05:19 PM
I'm proud of you, Dom! Thanks for putting this diary out there so we can all follow along on your sci-fi porn journey! The world definitely needs higher quality porn again.

Dom D
02-10-2020, 01:53 AM
I'm proud of you, Dom! Thanks for putting this diary out there so we can all follow along on your sci-fi porn journey! The world definitely needs higher quality porn again.

Thanks man! I do my best.

And finally the final piece of my central quartet locks in! That's a sexy cast... I'm so unbelievably pumped there are no words. I think this process has taken about 7 months since I contacted my first agent. Trying to plan the rest of my evening.... I'm supposed to play basketball on a Monday night, considering instead of maybe going to the bottleshop, buying a particularly nasty bourbon and wiping myself the fuck out.

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49514636131_18d31c625c_c.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/2irrsfX)

Alex K.
02-10-2020, 10:27 AM
Looks good Dom. The poster is evocative of Kubrick to me.

Dom D
02-10-2020, 03:07 PM
Looks good Dom. The poster is evocative of Kubrick to me.

Thanks, and yeah, I stole his font. I want to start looking for an artist who does good illustrated posters for the real poster. Anyone have any recommendations? The British DVD labels often seem to ahve fun art on their covers. I guess it wouldn't be too hard to find who they are. I imagine it can't be too expensive because I can't see there being any money in DVD these days and new art would be a luxury expense for them.

Dom D
02-17-2020, 04:06 PM
Currently in a dialogue with Ron Jeremy's agent about him coming in for a dialogue role. Nothing more to add, just thought talking to The Hedgehogs agent was cool.

No actually, something more to add. I see he shares an agent with Lloyd Kaufman. I love Lloyd. Has Lloyd ever done a walk on in a porno... He'd be a commited member of SAG I suppose so that's probably not doable....

Ian Jane
02-17-2020, 04:12 PM
He hasn't appeared in any that I know of but he did direct some in his earlier days and he has used Ron in quite a few Troma movies over the years.

Dom D
02-17-2020, 05:35 PM
I forgot Lloyd directed porn back in the day... Just now I got another email from Rons agent. This one in response to the question of what Ron's rate is. The very succinct response: "I don't know. Make him an offer." FFS.

Thomas Wood
02-17-2020, 08:39 PM
You can make an offer to Kaufman but I'm 99.999% sure he would never appear in an adult film. Despite what he told Joe Rubin, he denies that he ever did porn to other people. Also I serious doubt Kaufman is SAG, I think most of his roles are done for free, just to get publicity. And, I don't believe SAG rules apply to porn productions.

Dom D
02-18-2020, 02:34 AM
Im sure youre right that Kaufman wouldn't. It wouldn't be the first bit of misinformation in that book, but in Kaufmans Make Your own Damn Movie book he says that "even I'm a member of sag" as a way of disparaging them. I'm also not sure whether SAG would prevent a member from appearing in a porno. I would actually assume they would. They seem to be testing how ridiculously prohibitive they can get.

Dom D
02-18-2020, 04:52 AM
Additional thought: Assuming Lloyd is telling the truth when he says he's a SAG member then he's breaking all the time by being in his own films which are definitely not SAG productions. I was just running the idea of casting Ron in the film past my producer. Got this response: "He also suffers from narcolepsy so keep his time on set short and sweet. I’m not exaggerating he can collapse and sleep any time!" Probably common knowledge but new to me.

Ian Jane
02-18-2020, 09:55 AM
There's a movie out there, I believe it's called Ron Jeremy Does Las Vegas or something to that effect, where he goes back to the room with a young couple. They start getting it on and you assume he's going to join in - but instead he falls asleep in a chair and they keep going at it.

When I met him a few years ago I had him sign the DVD.

Dom D
03-10-2020, 03:47 PM
Agents:

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49644459283_805e5838fe.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/2iCUQaa)

That's Mark Spiegler, famed in story and song as the Ari Gold of the porn world. He only represents women and the girls on his books are pretty much all major names. Asa Akira, Angela White etc etc. They're Spiegler's girls and proudly advertise themselves as such. He keeps 30 on his books at any one time, no more, no less. I'm told he lives in a big Melrose Place style block, which he owns, and he rents the other flats in the block to his girls and they all live together as one big, happy porno family. I have no point to this back story but I'm telling it anyway because in the next life I want to come back as Mark Spiegler. It's why I 've recently gone Buddhist.

"When does this production take place and where?"

I'm not sure what I expected from porno agents but what I've got is not it. The above is the entire contents of an email I just recieved from Rons agent. It seems reasonable, right? Brief but reasonable. Except I've already sent him the date and location three times. It is, in fact, in the fucking email that he is replying to. In bold even. And this is in response to my sending him a screenshot of the down payment on Rons appearance in the film for which Ron had already agreed on the date and location. And this is typical.

Up front people told me, "don't worry these are all real people. This is, at it's heart, a business like any other". It may be a business, sure, but ultimately its a business like Jimmy the crackddealer, who lives down the road and hangs his sneakers over the telephone wire as his calling card, is a business. The lack of basic professionalism is kind of breathtaking.

What I'm trying to say is, if you have any kind of business or people skills head to LA and fucking take the industry over. I'm firmly convinced that anyone with any sort of vision could turn the thing on it's head just by approaching it with a decent work ethic and basic competence. If I wasn't stuck in Oz I'd do it myself.

Dom D
04-17-2020, 05:50 PM
Depressing day today. Today was supposed to be the first day on set shooting this thing. Just checking my schedule as to what I was suppossed to be shooting today. It was a lot of stuff, shooting a feature in 6 days after all, but the highlight was a lengthy comedy montage where I show passing time by dissolving in and out of brief sequences of Kira Noir and Seth Gamble having sex in every concievable position in every part of their apartment finishing with them in the infamous Bat-Girl position. I was genuinely curious about how you actually get into position to start with. I had no plans but I figured they'd know.

So the films probably dead. I lost about $10k in non refundable flights, costuming, SFX, deposit on Ron Jeremy etc. I hold out hope of maybe remounting it when international travel is allowed again but no quarantees of anything at the moment. My gal had a fun thought the other day. What if we make 2 films at the same time? Jess Franco it and shoot two films back to back with the same cast and crew and similar locations. Might make it more do-able financially... I don't know but it's a fun thought so have started a deep space Species meets Alien meets Red Dwarf porno comedy about a bunch of homesick and horny space cadets (in boith senses of the term) who get sexed to death by a hot alien. It's hard to motivate to write at the moment so I alternate days. One day writing, the next day working on the films sepcial effects. They're looking pretty good I think:

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49786191311_6e2fe60512_c.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/2iRrf9P)

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49786513852_4554d4419b_c.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/2iRsU2S)

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49786189601_fd5edd4b03_c.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/2iRreDk)

Alex K.
04-17-2020, 11:13 PM
"Failure is not the end. It's the start of a new path." Alejandro Jodorowsky.

Ian Jane
04-18-2020, 10:44 AM
I like the idea of Franco-ing it. Those FX pieces do look good, Dom!