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View Full Version : The Mexican DVD Store In My Neighborhood



Ian Jane
01-24-2015, 01:59 PM
On of the neat things about my neighborhood is the Mexican DVD store. It's literally 2 blocks away and every once in a while I go in there to check out what's what. No one in there speaks English and I don't speak Spanish but the people who run it are friendly and try to help me as best they can when I have questions.

At any rate, up front they have all the latest Hollywood stuff in Spanish friendly versions. Not that exciting.

As you move towards the back, things get more interesting. There's a small selection of Columbian movies and then a selection of Mexican musicals. There's lots of soccer DVDs and lots of UFC style stuff that I don't care about.

But the back of the store, that's where this place get awesome, and not just because that's where they keep the porn. The porn section, which is right by the religious section and the kids section (poor planning), is actually pretty dull. It's just generic American gonzo titles with a few Mexican gonzo tiltes thrown into the mix. Nothing noteworthy.

Along the otherwise of the back though, that's where you go to dig for gold. That's where the '4 x $10' section is.

The last time I went there was with Todd. We'd had some beers and that made Mexican DVDs all the more enticing. I got some luchadore movies and two movies starring Valentine Trujillo. I was pleased with my purchases.

Today I was basically looking just for luchadore movies and sadly I came up empty in that department, but I decided to make the best of the situation and dive head first into the bottom of the barrel. Here's what I came up with...

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I bought Mexican Vatos because it looks like it's a movie about fat cops with beards fighting Juggalos. I bought El Angel De La Muerte because look how scary that fucking guy is with his giant knife and it stars a guy named 'El Turco.' I don't know who that is but his name is in quotes so he's probably someone important. According to wikipedia 'El Turco' may be an Argentinian soccer player. I do not know.

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As far as La Venganza De La Uzi goes, it's got a girl in a leather bikini and a cowboy hat wearing leather chaps running around shooting people with an Uzi, at least if the cover art is to be believed. And I hope it is. How could I NOT buy that? And En La Linea De Feugo I bought entirely based on the awesome cover art, it actually appears to be a late 80s or early 90s SOV action movie. No IMDB entry that I can find.

At any rate, I am quite pleased with myself. I just figured I'd share a little of that love with all of you.

Ian Jane
01-24-2015, 02:12 PM
Ah man, fuck. I just skimmed UZI and although it does feature some uzi's, it doesn't feature very many and she doesn't wear the outfit she's sporting on the cover art.

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Note the presence of the ALF poster on the wall... behind the pile of corpses.

Ian Jane
01-24-2015, 02:13 PM
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SHE HAS AN UZI BUT HER OUTFIT IS ALL WRONG.

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Sigh.

Ian Jane
01-24-2015, 02:25 PM
OK, so skimming Mexican Vatos and it looks like my gut did NOT steer me wrong on this one. It's rape-tastic!

These girls get raped.

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By these dudes. They are BAD dudes and they will rape ANYONE.

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I think they are the Mexican Vatos, but I'm not sure.

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The cops are not cool with all of their raping. And their fighting. And their killing!

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This girl is gonna get raped.

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And these guys? They're BAD DUDES. Look at the hair and the make up!

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See? Toldja she'd get raped.

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This old lady gets in the way. She gets raped too.

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Ian Jane
01-24-2015, 02:28 PM
Look at these fucking guys!!!

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This guy with an eye-patch raped this lady.

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Then this guy rapes this chick.

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And after he rapes her, he licks her blood!

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BAD DUDES.

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The king Juggalo guy has to fight this other guy but I don't know why they're fighting.

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Then the cops show up and everyone shoots everyone else.

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The end.

Ian Jane
01-24-2015, 02:36 PM
En La Linea De Feugo has a really nice DVD menu screen.

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When it begins this old guy is kicking the shit out of this other guy.

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Then a cowboy chases a guy through the woods.

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This guy shows up.

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Then some cowboys kick the shit out of some guy in the middle of a park.

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This guy is the romantic lead, I think. I'm pretty sure he's the hero.

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He tries to stop the fight in the park and then this happens.

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Ian Jane
01-24-2015, 02:38 PM
This guy is very serious and he has nice hair.

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Time to get out the artillery. I think this movie is about cowboys trying to stop cocaine dealers.

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These ladies to NOT get raped so far as I can tell.

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Heroes.

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The guy in the back is really animated and pointing at something off screen but I have no idea what he's trying to tell the guy in the front of the frame with his back to us.

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Lots of people shoot at other people and get shot in the last few minutes.

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The end.

Ian Jane
01-24-2015, 02:50 PM
El Angel De La Muerte isn't really about a guy with a giant knife so much as it is about a guy and a vampire.

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When the movie begins, this guy is shooting someone in this lady's kitchen.

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This big guy pushes some other guys around. He means business.

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Meanwhile, in the morgue, a guy pokes dead bodies and eats donuts.

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A giant knife DOES show up in this scene at least.

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It's hard to tell cause the video quality is lousy but the guy in the background is floating. He's a vampire.

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This guy has a crossbow at one point but he's not a very good shot and he doesn't do much with it.

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This chick does some sort of demonic ritual using leather pants.

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Todd Jordan
01-24-2015, 02:52 PM
Wow you started in on the beer early!

Ian Jane
01-24-2015, 02:52 PM
After she does, a vampire shows up and bites her on the neck. She moans in ecstasy.

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I think this chick is a hooker. She lies around in lingerie.

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As the movie comes to an end, this guy has to kill the vampire. He has a shotgun for that purpose.

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The vampire shows up and he's like, haha, you can't kill me with a shotgun, you tool.

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You can kinda sorta see his fangs poking out here.

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Then to help the guy with the shotgun comes this guy. I think (though I am not sure) that this may be 'El Turco' because he just sort of looks more important than a lot of the other guys in this movie.

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You ward of a vampire with your cross.

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The end.

Tim R-T-C
01-26-2015, 06:20 AM
Fantastic reviews. Do you suppose these are just shot in the back-lot of the video store by the employees inbetween customers?

Ian Jane
01-26-2015, 07:17 PM
Ha, they've got slightly better production values than that but they were obviously made fast and cheap with a home video market in mind - which is endearing in its own crazy way.

Paul Casey
01-27-2015, 09:26 AM
Wow...those look awesome! I need Mexican Vatos!

Ian Jane
01-27-2015, 10:05 AM
Paul, it's nuts. I don't really know what's going on in the plot, but at the same time, I don't need to.

At $2.50 it's pretty much a must own and definitely the highlight of the four movies I bought from that joint over the weekend.

Alex K.
01-27-2015, 10:23 AM
The movies look fun but I need subs.

Vice did a great docu on the Narco sub-genre.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3aS2LPpiIw

Ian Jane
05-05-2016, 04:45 PM
RIP Mexican DVD Store in my neighborhood.

It shut down two weeks ago.

CrumpsBrother
05-14-2016, 12:07 AM
I don't know how I missed this thread all this time. Those reviews are hilarious, Ian! Then, just as I'm about to beg you to go back and buy more, I see the bad news. Bummer!

Ian Jane
05-14-2016, 09:14 AM
I think I still have a couple that I bought up cheap and put in a pile... then promptly forgot about. I'll dig around and see what I can find.

Ian Jane
05-28-2016, 09:48 AM
So I noticed yesterday when I drove by the now closed store that there's a guy setup out in front of it with $1 Mexican DVDs for sale. I didn't have any cash on me at the time, but I'm gonna check that out this weekend and report back. At $1 a disc, I'll probably stock up and maybe have enough material to keep this thread going for a while.

Oh and I did dig around the stuff I already have and there are 2 that I haven't 'reviewed' yet so I'll get to those too.

This post is more or less a reminder for me to actually do this.

Nothing to see here, carry on.

Ian Jane
05-29-2016, 12:00 PM
Mission accomplished!

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