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Nikos The Impaler

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    Ian Jane
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  • Nikos The Impaler

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    Released by: Schnaas Films
    Released in: 2003
    Director: Andreas Schnaas
    Cast: Andreas Schnaas, Debbie Rochan, Darian Caine, Lloyd Kaufman, Joseph Zaso, Felissa Rose
    Year: 2003
    Purchase From Amazon

    The Movie:

    Writer/Director Andreas Schnaas plays Nikos, a Romanian barbarian who is resurrected in modern day New York City by an unwitting criminal who messes up an attempted robbery at an art gallery. When a security guard shoots him, he bleeds on the mask of the late Nikos, bringing him back to life and endangers the entire population of the city that never sleeps.

    A professor from the local university (Joseph Zaso) and one of his coworkers (Felissa Rose from Sleepaway Camp) are volunteering at the exhibit with some of the students from the school, and sooner rather than later, most of them are dead, but the two teachers make it out alive.

    After making short work of pretty much everyone at the art showing, Nikos heads out into NYC, making the rounds from a theater to a video store (where he kills Lloyd Kaufman and Debbie Rochan) to a lesbian bar to a health club (where Darian Caine takes off all her clothes, only to die two minutes later), killing everything and anything that gets in his way.

    Eventually our heroes run into some of New York's finest, who help them try and bring Nikos down, but then Nikos summons Hitler, a slinky vampire succubus, and a pair of ninjas to do his bidding and they all get ready for the final showdown.

    If you've seen any of Schnaas's earlier movies (Zombie Doom, Zombie 90) then you know what you're in for. These basically function on the same level as a Gwar video, with a bit more story and less music. While not quite as gory as his Violent Shit Trilogy, there is still plenty of grue to go around and slightly more attention is paid to storytelling this time around than simply presenting massive amounts of carnage. It also doesn't take itself too seriously either. The film plays very tongue in cheek and is actually kind of funny more often than not.

    Characters are introduced only to be killer off minutes, or even seconds, later with little to no development given or really even needed. Most of the people we're introduced to are simply fodder for Nikos to carve up with his giant sword. But that's what you expect from this type of movie, isn't it? If it is, you'll probably have a good time with Nikos. Turn off your brain, lower your expectations, and just have a laugh at how utterly ridiculous this whole movie is. If it's not your bag, you'll have trouble getting through it.

    Video/Audio/Extras:

    Nikos The Impaler is letterboxed at 1.78.1 and is enhanced for anamoprhic television sets. The film was shot on video and looks like it was hard matted afterwards for the DVD, as in a few spots some people are missing the tops of their heads. Other than that though, the compositions are way above the average shot on video gore film. The problem is the compression artifacts that riddle a lot of the darker scenes in the film. They are constant and persistent. When things are lighter, the movie doesn't look too bad, but the darker scenes are pretty blotchy. Now, with that being said, this is a common problem with SOV movies, and I half expected to see it before I even put the DVD in the player.

    The film is in English and the soundtrack has been mixed in Dolby Digital 5.1 and also in Dolby Digital 2.0. Right off the bat it was obvious that this mix was too bass heavy. Once I adjusted my subwoofer though, the 5.1 mix didn't sound half bad. I did have to turn the volume up and down a few times during the film. The 2.0 mix is quite a bit muddier and it is more difficult to understand what's going on, especially in the film's opening scene. Also worth noting is that the theme music that plays over the menus is about twice as load as the actual volume of the movie itself, so if you're like me, and you like to check out the extra features after the film, be prepared to turn the volume down quite a bit before you hit those menus.

    Ok, Schnaas and company have jam packed this release with a lot of extra features. My personal favorite is the uncut version of Darian Caine's shower scene. It's totally unnecessary in everyway, but I've got to admit, I find her fun a lot of fun to look at. There's also a sneak peek at the upcoming Goblet Of Gore feature, also from Schnaas, a trailer for Demonium, a making of featurette, an isolated soundtrack, a big stills gallery, a music video, and a short film (in German only), and interview segment, and the films trailer. Finally, there is a feature length commentary from Schnaas himself, in English, and the composer of the films soundtrack, Marc Trinkhaus, joins him. While some of it is a bit self-congratulatory and jovial, Schnaas gives off the impression that despite his on screen personas, he's actually a really nice guy. By the end of the commentary, I wanted to go drinking with him. Interpret that as you will though, as I'd go drinking with pretty much anybody, especially if they're buying.

    The Final Word:

    Love him or hate him, Schnaas and his films aren't going anywhere and they do have quite a following. Nikos The Impaler is a fun drinking movie. Take it seriously and you'll be sorely disappointed by if you're in the mood to crack open a few beers and indulge in a guilty pleasure, there's enough on this disc to keep you going until the wee hours of the morning.
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