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Released by: Anchor Bay Entertainment
Released on: 10/21/2003
Director: Joseph Mangine
Cast: Allan Hayes, Leilani Sarelle, Donna Locke
Year: 1985
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The Movie:
Leilani Sarelle (Basic Instinct, Crash) plays Natalie, a pretty young woman who, when out with some friends one night, finds herself the sole survivor of an attack by some strange monster-mutant things who it turns out live underneath the Golden Gate bridge. Of course, they can't leav anyone alive to alert the authorities of their existence, so they do their best to hunt her down and make short work of her.
Luckily for Natalie, the local grocery delivery boy, Steven (Allan Hayes of Friday the 13th Part IV - The Final Chapter) is there to protect her and together, with the help of a goofy young girl named Paula, they discover that the monsters can be stopped if doused with water.
The three of them come up with a winner of a plan to arm all the students of the local high school with water pistols on the night of a battle of the bands competition, in hopes that the monsters will show up so that they can be defeated once and for all. But when they do show up, not all goes as planed, and San Francisco's boys in blue realize that they have a big problem on their hands.
Neon Maniacs is the worse movie I have seen in recent memory. The acting is terrible, the dialogue is terrible and the plot has more holes than that pair of old socks I refuse to throw out, you know, the ones at the back of my top drawer. But what it lacks in cinematic and technical chutzpah, it more than makes up for with some unbelievably funny moments that occur for all the wrong reason.
The eighties was a decade that, so far, hasn't aged very well. While a lot of seventies culture has come back and remained consistently cool for a while now, the jelly bracelets and shoulder pads of the Reagan-era was very silly then and doesn't look to be making a comeback anytime soon. And this movie will remind you exactly why that is a good thing. The battle of the bands, featuring Steven as lead lip syncher in his band, The Outlaw Boys is absolutely horrible. The opposing band, Jaded, sport matching checkered outfits and teased up glam rock hair while The Outlaw Boys are a little more clean cut, with their skinny ties and Don Johnson inspired blazers.
And then there's the monsters themselves. You'd think with a name like Neon Maniacs that they'd do something cool, or maybe glow in the dark or something. Nope. No dice. They do have some mildly florescent green blood, but that's as close as they come to being neon. And also, if they can be so easily defeated with water, why do they live under the Golden Gate Bridge? That'd be like Superman living next to a Kryptonite factory or something. Not very good planning on their part. They also don't move very fast or very efficiently except for the one with the Indian garb on. They kind of look like zombie Village People, actually.
So if you're looking for a serious scare fest or something with deep meaning or any small semblance of artistic value, please, run as far and as fast as you can from this movie and don't look back. But if you like your movies choke full of 80s pop culture (one scene in the high school shows a mural of Michael Jackson painted on the wall) with horribly dated fashions, music and dancing then this movie is for you. You have been warned.
Video/Audio/Extras:
The film is presented in it's original 1.85.1 theatrical aspect ratio and is enhanced for anamorphic television sets. The black levels are a little washed out in a few scenes and there are some areas where a little less damage would have been nice but for the most part this is a nice enough transfer. Colors are reasonably strong and despite some murky blacks, the overall picture quality is above average for a low budget horror movie from the eighties.
Neon Maniacs is given the Dolby Digital Mono treatment, and the track sounds about as good as one could hope for. With all the action dedicated to the front state, clarity is fine and the levels seem to be well balanced.
The only supplement on the disc is a theatrical trailer and some interesting liner notes from Fangoria's Mike Gingold.
The Final Word:
Neon Maniacs is a terrible movie but it's certainly not short on camp appeal and unintentional laughs and for that reason alone, it's worth a look for bad movies buffs.