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Released by: Alpha Blue Archives
Released on: 3/29/2005
Director: Alex de Renzy
Cast: Long Jeanne Silver
Year: 1979
Purchase From TLA Video
The Movie:
Her name is Long Jeanne Silver, and she's handicapped and horny! Due to a quirk of mother nature, she was born with a bigger dick than John Holmes, and baby, you'd better believe she knows how to use it! Or so says the audio clip that plays over top of the menu screen for the DVD release of this true XXX oddity from the twisted seventies.
'Long' Jeanne Silver had appeared on stage and in men's magazines before making the leap to porn, where in 1976 (her earliest appearance, so far as I can find) she appeared on the receiving end of Jamie Gillis' muddy wrath in the enema bandit classic, Water Power, directed by the infamous Gerard Damiano.
Her claim to fame? Well, besides having a nice set of perky boobies and a reasonably attractive face, Jeanne was 'gifted' by a childhood incident that left her with a stump where her left leg used to be. This stump, really nothing more than flesh covered bone, could be put to all manner of interesting uses by the adventurous types that Jeanne ran into, and that's more or less the premise behind this psuedo-documentary that follows Ms. Silver around and captures the sexual exploits that she finds herself involved in.
The film is comprised of five scenes. The first one is a three way with Joey Silvera and Amber Hunt. Jeanne shows Amber what her stump is good for, while Joey looks on and does his own thing. The second scene finds Jeanne picking up a guy who doesn't usually 'like girls' and taking him back to her house so that they can fool around before her mother gets home. If you think you know where this one is going, you're probably right. He takes her stump in his rump and she diddles her own bad self while she grinds him down. Nasty stuff, and pretty damn weird when you think about it. Actually, this whole movie is pretty damn weird when you think about it. But back to the subject at hand... scene three finds Ms. Silver in another three way, this time with Paul Thomas and a blonde lady who willingly receives Jeanne's leggy thing into her fun box. The final scene is with Jeanne and Kristine Heller who actually gives Jeanne's stump oral in another truly odd moment of semi-lesbian but sort of phallic lust.
There isn't a whole helluva lot in the story department here to describe and the film seems to exist pretty much as a XXX freak show rather than a coherent adult film. With that being said, it certainly gets points in the originality department and it leaves very little of Jeanne's so called 'private life' to the imagination.
There have been cut versions released of the film, the Canadian release being trimmed of almost four minutes supposedly, but Alpha Blue's DVD does appear to be completely uncut judging by the fact that the seen likely to cause the most issues with the censors - and the scene that was supposedly cut from other versions - the stump into man's rump scene, appears to be completely intact with no noticeable or jarring edits of any kind.
Directed by Alex de Renzy, the man behind a lot of the late 60s/early 70s 'Denmark' films and vintage smut like Pretty Peaches not to mention the notorious Animal Lover, the movie kicks along at a brisk pace. It isn't elegantly shot, there aren't a lot of interesting camera movements or unique set ups or angles. There are no lighting tricks or colored gels used to enhance the mood - it's all very basic. But the subject matter, or more specifically the female lead in the form of Jeanne Silver herself, is such an unusual subject for a hardcore porn film that it really and truly doesn't matter much in the long run. You're not watching this for the story or watching it for the cinematography, you're watching it to watch a good looking woman do strange things to other women (and a rather unfortunate man - it looked like it hurt even the lube on there... ouch!) with her stump leg.
The film isn't a complete fuck fest though. In amongst the bumping and grinding are some interesting little interview segments with Silver who talks about her life and her career. She even gets all choked up at one point in the film while she's discussing her work with a couple of friends. It's also interesting to see some photos from the spread she did for Cheri in the film as well.
Video/Audio/Extras:
I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that the film was shot with a fullframe presentation in mind. Like I said earlier, the movie doesn't really make much use of the widescreen format or try and pull off any artful compositions at all, so with that in mind, coupled with the fact that everything you need to see is more or less in the frame at any given time, 1.33.1 would seem to be correct. The quality isn't so hot, it's rough and the colors are faded throughout, but it's quite watchable and doesn't look any worse than a lot of the other more obscure adult films from the era.
The Dolby Digital Mono audio track is on par with the video. It isn't going to blow your mind with its Earth shattering clarity but the dialogue is fine and you can hear what's going on and what's being said without any unnecessary ear strain. There's some hiss here and there in the background, but it doesn't ruin anything or really take away from the experience.
Alpha Blue Archives has dug through their vaults and supplied some pretty interesting and appropriate extra features for this DVD release.
First up, once you get past the menu that plays the opening sound bite over and over again (it's pretty damn cool the first three times, but it gets old fast but you've gotta love that three color image!) is a pretty extensive still gallery. Not only does this gallery include the shots from the Cheri layout, but also a few other shots from various sources, including a few black and white shots of Jeanne's stage performance, culminating with a shot in which she inserts her stump into her own snatch. The girls got some skills, that's for sure.
After that comes a 'bonus stump humping' scene that clocks in at just over eleven minutes in length. Jeanne takes on Carol Conners, who is in full on 'rough sex' mode here, after she gives some kindly gentleman a blow job.
After that are some trailers for a few other oddball seventies porno films. Previews are included for Prisoner Of Pleasure, the nasty Shaun Costello directed Dominatrix Without Mercy, Hot Summer, Gerard Damiano's The Story Of Joanna, and for two seventies smut compilations - The Sadistic Seventies, and Teenage Lust.
All in all, not a half bad package of keen little extras to go along with the messed up feature film included on the DVD.
The Final Word:
More of a curiosity item than a seriously erotic or sexy vintage porno, Long Jeanne Silver certainly racks up a wealth of points in the 'holy shit, why am I watching this?' department. Alpha Blue's DVD is serviceable for the film at hand, and the extras are pretty cool as well. If you're into weird smut, check this one out for sure.