Tweet
Released by: One 7 Movies
Released on: 4/26/2011
Director: Joe D'Amato
Cast: Anita Rinaldi, Venere Torti, Carlo De Palma,
Year: 1998
The Movie:
Towards the end of the late Joe D'Amato's career the man was churning out movies at a rapid pace, and to be blunt, a lot of them were not very good. Enter Sexy Pirates, a bizarre retitling of a film originally known as I Predatori Delle Antille (to which it is referred to on the title card on this DVD and on the back of the packaging), one of over twenty films he made in 1998.
When the film beings, Sir Francis Hamilton is about to bed his foxy blonde wife, Lady Hamilton (Anita Rinaldi) before heading off on a voyage of some sort at the behest of King Charles II, to whom he is employed as an ambassador. His trip is to take him from his native England to the Caribbean Islands where he'll do some diplomatic work in Jamaica, where the islanders are intending to sign a peace treaty with the French. Unfortunately for everyone, especially Francis, his ship is overtaken by rascally, scruffy pirates (not sexy pirates as the title implies), lead by George Rackman, pirate extraordinaire. When they learn who Sir Hamilton is, they hold him for ransom and Lady Hamilton tries to get King Charles II to pay it, but he won't pay it nor will he send in the military fearing international repercussions.
This leaves Lady Hamilton in a bit of a pickle, because she wants her husband back but has not the means to make that happen. Thankfully she knows of a wise and tough buccaneer who she tries to pay into saving her husband after impressing him by jumping up on the table of a bar and flashing him her girl parts. He has no need for money, but he is a fan of boobies and butts, something with which our fair lady is well equipped. He agrees to help get Sir Hamilton back but insists as payment she give herself to him once the mission is accomplished. She agrees, and off they go with his crew to sail towards Jamaica to get her husband back. Along the way Lady Hamilton will have to contend with a jealous girl (they don't make out) with a gun, dastardly politicians, and pirates, pirates, pirates!
Sexy Pirates isn't very sexy, though through no fault of Ms. Rainldi, who does don her birthday suit a couple of times. The nudity is fleeting, however, and not enough to save what amounts to a goofy and cheaply made throwback to the pirates movies of yesterday, the likes of which starred charismatic actors like Errol Flynn and Burt Lancaster and not sleepwalking dudes like Azlo Madarasz. D'Amato's cinematography, which is typically lush and almost always impressive, is hampered here by a low budget and while he makes the most of his island locations and manages to stage a few surprisingly large scale cannon battles, the movie just never really takes off. All the ingredients are there - naked ladies, sword fights, some gratuitous torture, a catfight, cannons, flamboyant costumes and a soundtrack that is at least making a valiant effort to sound sweeping and epic, but the end result is predictable and dull.
Video/Audio/Extras:
Sexy Pirates looks about as good as the fullframe tape source used for this transfer will allow. It is sometimes a bit too dark, but the image is at least reasonably clean and clear throughout. Softness is an issue throughout, from start to finish, and detail is only going to look as good as the materials that the transfer was culled from permit but considering the source, the picture is watchable enough. The compositions don't actually really suffer much at all from the fullframe presentation, indicating it may have been shot for home video.
The only audio option on the disc is a Dolby Digital 2.0 Mono track in Italian with optional English subtitles that, unfortunately, contain a few sloppy typos. Aside from that, the audio isn't bad. Levels are well balanced and if this isn't a particularly memorable listening experience, it sound fine for what it is.
Extras are non-existent, unless you count a static menu and chapter selection extras, in which case, this disc comes up a winner.
The Final Word:
D'Amato completists will probably want to check it out, and maybe people obsessed with pirates will dig it, but unless you fall into either of those categories, you can probably live a full and complete life without ever having seen this film.
