• Eaten Alive



    Released by: Video-X-Pix
    Released on: 8/16/2006
    Director: J. Angel Martine
    Cast: Taija Rae, Tracey Adams, Barbie Dahl, Ron Jeremy, Michael Knight, George Payne
    Year: 1985
    Purchase from TLA Video

    The Movie:

    From the vaults of Video-X-Pix comes this one of eleven movies directed J. Angel Martine, rumored to be the one and only Roberta Findlay. The film starts out with a newlywed couple talking about being horny but the wife won’t have sex in an airport bathroom, where they are currently standing. But she will give him head. The dude keeps pressuring her to boink, she keeps saying no, suddenly there’s a woman climbing from under the adjacent stall who says she’ll do it in an airport bathroom. She starts swallowing skin and spongy tissue, then fucks the guy with his wife right there.

    Meanwhile, Taija Rae, looking as a pretty as always, is a ticket woman at an airport (JFK?) who informs everyone asking that all flights have been delayed. Tracey Adams and Ron Jeremy show up all pissed off at each other and when Taija suggests the three of them go over to a bar called Pink Paradise, they all say sure. She takes them to her private room she has in the bar and proceeds to make the moves on Tracey. After they get hot and heavy, she turns her attention to Ron Jeremy. She screws him while Tracey is out of the way.

    And then also meanwhile, Barbie Dahl, who seems dumber than a bag of nails in this movie, goes to the bar on her own and meets Mr. Pink (preceding the Reservoir Dogs “Mr. Pink” by nearly a decade), played by Michael Knight, who talks her up. Barbie tells Mr. Pink that she’s so horny she could explode. “You’re probably just shy with men” he tells her and then fucks her in a public bar. Yes, she’s very shy.

    So now that all that sex is over with the story starts to unfold. The newlywed couple is fighting because she is disgusted with him the he screwed that woman in the bathroom (she didn’t seem upset as she stood there watching her husband mount a stranger while she rubbed the whore’s ass) and Taija sends them to the Pink Paradise to look for Mr. Pink. They run into another fighting couple as they meet Mr. Pink. He knows they are having sexual problems. He gives them some Fantasy Island-type shit talk, has them drink a pink drink that looks like a frozen Pepto-Bismal and tells them the drink will give them the best sex ever for one year. After the year, to the date, they need to come back and get another one to keep the sex amazing. They believe him, drink the drinks, and get to balling.

    Well looks can be deceiving, and the guy in the awful pink suit is not Mr. Rourke. He’s just a swindler with Taija and here’s his grand scheme: get them to believe that pink drink is for real, then in a year they’ll come back and Mr. Pink will pretend he doesn’t know them. They’ll beg him for more pink drink and he’ll charge them a ton of money for it. He’ll get rich! It’s flawless, brilliant and inspiring all at once. The fact that he’ll swindle six people for maybe a couple grand one year later is genius.

    Here comes Ron and Tracey again, fighting. She can’t believe he screwed that airline woman (she makes no mention of the fact that she screwed her as well). Mr. Pink makes his move and gets them in the pink drink. Then they two have sex, and it’s HOT sex. This is one of Tracey’s earliest appearances and almost certainly her first scene with Ron Jeremy. They both seem intensely into it. She is just incredible with her oral skills and he looks like he’s going to lose it for real. Then he lays her on her back and they screw like normal people screw (well, for a lot more than two minutes) and their authentic chemistry makes the scene smoke. Some of the odd angles and quick edits seems Russ Meyer-inspired. All this with an awesome blues guitar playing.

    One year later, two of the couples return for a refill and Mr. Pink plays his game. The women understand that this was a potential scam and they split. The dudes don’t and start fucking Barbie Dahl. Mr. Pink is suddenly some maniacally laughing dude that looks a bit like Frankenstein and- oh wait! The dude’s got horns! He’s the devil! Movie ends. Huh?

    Flat out fun 80s porn. Stupid story, hairy- but not too hairy (except Ron Jeremy, who’s at the first stages of back hair), good sex, and great hairdos. A cool music score in parts and incredibly dated music score in others. The Ron Jeremy/Tracey Adams scene alone is worth the price of the disc, but all the sex is good in this one, which should make it a sure-fire winner for fans of the decade.

    Video-Audio-Extras:

    The movie is shown in 4:3 Full Screen, and it looks pretty good. It appears to be from a tape source, albeit a more than decent one, and the colors look a bit washed out. No artifacts were noticed, the picture is clear, but everything seems to have a pink-ish hue. The audio is a 2-channel Dolby Digital track, probably filmed in mono (but that’s an assumption), and the same sounds come from both sides. Clearly audible throughout and no issues to report.

    The extras are simply a few trailers for other films: Take Off (5:15), MisBehavin' (4:18), and Bel Ami (4:12). Also a chapter section and animated menu.

    The Final Word:

    Great smut from when Ronald Reagan was president. He would have approved. If nothing else, get this one for the Tracey Adams/Ron Jeremy pump-a-thon.