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Released by: Baby Yeyti Productions
Released on: TBD
Director: Aramis Sartorio
Cast: Aramis Sartorio, Mia Tyler, Kimberly Kane, Vincent Cusimano, Gia Paloma
Year: 2010
The Movie:
Aramis Sartorio's mainstream feature debut, the first for Baby Yeti productions, is The Gruesome Death Of Tommy Pistol, a low budget horror/comedy in which Sartorio's infamous alter ego, star of such cult XXXr's as Re-Penetrator and The XXXorcist, finds himself on a twisted tour through the Hollywood machine in which seemingly anything is possible.
When the movie begins, Tommy Pistol (played by writer/director Aramis Sartorio) has just lost his lousy job at a bookstore after telling the boss' mother to go to the bathroom on his chest. He has to break the news to his wife (his real life wife Gia Paloma) who calls him on his bullshit and leaves with their child, leaving Tommy to pursue his dreams of making it as an actor without them. So with the house to himself, he does what anyone would do in his situation - he puts a hot dog in the microwave, grabs a penis pump, puts some porn on TV and starts to jerk off - but that hot dog is quickly being overcooked as Tommy drifts off to sleep and his career starts to take some insane turns.
Before you know it, he's answered an ad off the internet and is being let in the backdoor of a rundown studio where the naí¯ve Tommy is convinced he's going to be starring in a real horror film, completely unaware that the cheese grader he just used to shave off a bound woman's breast is all too real and the special effects not effects at all. A few blood-soaked scenes later and Tommy is running around Hollywood wearing the skin he's just taken off of Arnold Schwarzenegger and he soon finds himself directing an infected actress in a porno movie, her pussy sores adding some extra oomph to her no holds barred performance.
For some of us, it's easy to see a bit of yourself in Tommy Pistol. He's a man who knows the importance of well groomed sideburns and of hamming it up any time there's a camera around. He's a man who appreciates Aqua Teen Hunger Force enough to get it permanently etched on his body and he's a man who is unafraid to sing and dance when called upon. He's also not afraid to roll his sleeves up and get gooey, and The Gruesome Death Of Tommy Pistol provides him with ample opportunity to do just that as the film moves from one twisted set piece to the next until it reaches a surprisingly poignant conclusion.
The film is effects heavy, but there's no CGI in sight, and the old school make up, latex and fake blood tossed up on the screen is all done with such delightful glee that you can't help but love it, even when it gets incredibly gross. The third act, in which the director works in his adult film themed short film Attack Of The Staph Spider and makes it work in the context of the story being told, is a landmark in horror porn as Pistol, behind the camera looking all the world like a younger Ron Jeremy, lets his camera leer between the legs of a masturbating actress, the furious friction of her dildo opening her wounds and spreading her disease. It sounds harsh, and it is, but it's done with such a cartoonish twist that you can't help but laugh, even when you know you shouldn't.
As far as the performances go, Sartorio is awesome in the lead. The three different 'adventures' he goes on in his dream allow him to do three different takes on the character - initially he's naí¯ve, overanxious and eager to believe he's going to make it; in the second part he's starting to snap and this lets him show off some cool stunt work while running around in an adulterous governor's skin; and in the third act his character has become one of the scumbags he's been surrounded by, content to trudge away in the porno industry and keen on capturing his actress' sickness on camera. Cameos from a tough talking Kimberly Kane, Burning Angel model Daisy Sparks and Mia Tyler (Steven Tyler's other daughter!) are fun, but this is Sartorio's show all the way and he does everything he can to make the most of it.
Given Mr. Pistol's different experiences in the adult industry a shrink could probably have a field day psychoanalyzing the movie, but hoity-toity over thinking aside, Sartorio has made a really entertaining movie. It's gory as all Hell and downright disgusting at times but amazingly enough it manages to have a bit of heart to it. The horror movie elements are really just a backdrop for the comedy that's the focal point of the film, and while some low budget hiccups here and there are sometimes painfully obvious, you've got to admire the insanity of it all.
Note: This review is based off of a pre-release screener, so there are no extras or anything - just the movie - and there's no DVD release scheduled yet, though the film will likely play some festivals in the not too distant future. Want more info? Check out the Facebook page here and the trailer below the screen caps. And for more good reading, check out an old interview we did with Mr. Pistol here. Dig it.
