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Released by: After Hours Cinema
Released on: 5/24/2011
Director: unknown
Cast: various
Year: various
The Movie:
This 2-disc collection of 70s stag loops features an animated (the term is loosely used) story line which entails fat slob Uncle Farts bringing his nephew Scooter to a porn theater to celebrate his eighth birthday. There is a thug in the theater who wants Uncle Farts (who sounds too much like Peter Griffin from The Family Guy) to shut up and stop talking and threatens to kill him. These shenanigans play as bookends to each of the porno shorts and are only a little bit humorous. Certainly not enough to make one want to see more of Uncle Farts but there's at least one other volume featuring him and his foul-mouthed nephew. All the loops are silent, but with music playing over them. Probably the music was added by After Hours Cinema.
Disc One:
Aside from the animated stuff, this one starts off with a trailer for “Hard Luck Palâ€, which is probably a lot better than the movie itself, and is the only thing on here with dialogue other than the cartoon stuff. Then the loops kick in. First is “The Intruderâ€, which has a woman getting raped in a basement by some mustachioed slimeball while violin music plays. Next is an untitled lesbian softcore romp. Sexy saxophone music helps the boredom along, but barely. No oral sex, mostly just kissing and caressing, and one chick has her va-jay-jay shaved. Not too common back then. Another lesbo loop follows complete with a red tipped dildo that's never used.
“Rubber Duck†starts out with a dude in a bathtub with a rubber duck. Suzanne Fields starts washing his junk and then screws him. A misleading titled loop as the duck barely seen. Next up is a middle-aged couple reminiscing about the old days when they used to fuck. Flashback to a young couple banging (it isn't the older people, it's a re-enactment porno…ahead of its time) and ends with the old couple falling asleep, being so exhausted from thinking about fucking. After that one, enjoy crazy xylophone music as a guy starts fucking a woman while wearing a huge plastic dick, then he disrobes to reveal a smaller real dick and starts in on using that instead. Moving on.
Ok, now in this next one a couple screws. All right then, on to “The Dream†with Vanessa del Rio. She starts stirring the soup and we get to see her fantasy, which is getting screwed by two guys. Insane flute music helps the scene along. Then a woman with a shaved head screws two men, one of them being Jamie Gillis, while bongo music helps paint the scene. The last loop on this disc features two women hungry for a man, so they call room service. Bobby Astyr shows up in a bellhop uniform and they all grind organs to some funky organ music.
The only supplemental material on the disc is five trailers for other After Hours releases, with a “Play all†option.
Disc Two:
The second disc continues the jocular animated segments and starts off with a loop involving a policeman and his old lady, who has an out-of-control bush. They fuck. The end. That piece of no-grade eroticism is followed by a threesome, two chicks and one guy. Then up on the slopping block is Marc Stevens in pink pants, and he does his impersonation of a heterosexual man with some unrecognizable chick. Next is a swinging slut who enjoys screwing two different guys (but shh! Don't let the other guy know someone is plugging his woman). Some dude who looks like Mick Fleetwood gives her pimple-covered ass the wood in front of weird posters.
A Nubian princess with hairy pits cleans some random dude's pipes. She's pretty at least. Then watch as a red head fucks two guys, one being John Leslie. Marvel at the bathtub going from full to half full in the blink of an eye. Next two couples get busy and remain uninteresting. The last two loops feature Jamie Gillis. In the first one he rocks some overalls. In the final loop the bongos return to help the viewer whack off to a woman getting it up the poop chute, and then lick shit off the dick that was up there. She rubs it all over her face. Yeah, it's obviously chocolate syrup, but it's still gross. Erotic? NO!
There are six trailers for other After Hours discs, with a “Play all†option.
Video/Audio/Extras:
These loops all look pretty beaten up. Lots of scratches and dirt and awful color, but no disc issues to report. The animated sections look fine. The audio is fine, as all these loops are silent. The music sounds fine. No problems to report.
The only extras are just the trailers mentioned above.
The Final Word:
Crappy loops that really don't offer up much interesting or even funny. The Uncle Farts material is pretty weak by way of being entertaining, at least not as entertaining as one would hope anyway, and the animation is simple and barely even animation. This one might appeal to those who like to collect loop discs, but other than that…meh.
