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Bikini Girls On Ice

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    Ian Jane
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  • Bikini Girls On Ice



    Released by:
    Well Go USA
    Released on: 8/9/2011

    Writer: Geoff Klein

    Cast: Cindel Chanrtrand, Suzi Lorraine, Danielle Doetsch, William Jarand

    Year: 2009

    Purchase From Amazon


    The Movie:


    Directed and co-written by Geoff Klein, Bikini Girls On Ice follows a group of female college soccer players who travel together to attend a bikini car-wash fundraiser. Unfortunately, their bus breaks down outside of the city and not knowing how to fix it, they understandably decide to camp out near a weird abandoned gas station. Stuck in the middle of nowhere, the bikini girls soon find themselves the unwitting victims of an axe wielding psychopath named Moe (William Jarand). Throw in some horny dudes, a weird old man, and lots of scenes that take place in poorly lit locations and that's more or less the movie in a nutshell.


    Obviously inspired by and intended as a love letter to the slasher films of the eighties, Bikini Girls On Ice doesn't really reinvent the wheel here. The film provides pretty much exactly what you'd expect, given the salacious title, which is plenty of buxom young ladies in skimpy outfits to ogle and some periodic bloodshed, although it should be noted that those hoping for a gore fest will be disappointed as the vast majority of the carnage takes place off screen.


    The movie definitely plays towards cliché after cliché. We all know that when in trouble, there's safety in numbers, right? This makes it all the more illogical that any one of the stranded ladies would opt to explore the eerie gas station alone, but that's pretty much exactly what happens time and again during the last two thirds of the film. Girl wanders off, Moe sees girl, Moe kills girl, repeat. This happens not because it's logical or realistic or even remotely believable in any sense, but because that's what happens in slasher films. Again, we're not reinventing the wheel with this one.


    The film could have been better had the gore quotient been upped, as you'd definitely get the feeling that you're watching a neutered version of something that could have benefitted from a bit more on screen sadism, but if you couldn't figure it out from the title, the picture is more enamored with playing towards camp conventions, which explains its tendency to resort to tried and true genre stereotypes. The movie is amusing enough, but make sure you go in with your expectations in check. This is a very low budget film, it's not very scary or gory, and it's fairly inconsistent in its execution. For every scene that does work - and there are a few of them - there's a scene that doesn't, and the film winds up feeling padded in spots.


    To Klein's credit, it's quite well shot and the girls are always lit and framed very flatteringly. There's absolutely no shortage of eye candy here, in fact, there are bikini girls aplenty (there's something to be said for truth in advertising) and each one is plenty easy on the eyes. Had there been more effort to make an interesting story or create any scenes of lasting suspense, it could have been a pretty cool little picture but instead it's content to stand as a campy, goofy throwback. There's nothing wrong with that, specifically, but it could have been more.


    Video/Audio/Extras:


    Bikini Girls On Ice doesn't really rise above its low budget roots in this AVC encoded 1080p 1.78.1 widescreen transfer. Some video noise is present in the darker scenes and detail isn't super impressive but when compared to the DVD also available from Well Go USA it is improved as is color reproduction and texture. Shadow detail tends to be on the murky side sometimes but this is intermittent. Overall the picture is pretty good for a low budget production, better than some will probably expect it to be, and the fact that it's as well shot as it is certainly helps things quite a bit.


    There is no lossless audio option here but the English language Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound mix is of good enough quality - and an optional 2.0 Stereo track is included for those who want it. As far as the 5.1 track goes, it's decent and has some well placed directional effects but is, for the most part, a front heavy mix. Levels are well balanced, however, and there are no problems with hiss or distortion. Both tracks are identical to the DVD release.


    Extras kick off with a Behind The Scenes featurette that includes some input from the cast and crew and some footage of the production while it was in progress. It's not deep but it's moderately interesting. Not advertised on the packaging or advertising for this release but found tucked away within the confines of the menu screens is an audio commentary with director Geoff Klein. Though he does fall into basically narrating what we're seeing happen on screen from time to time, for the most part this is a pretty interesting talk that goes into some detail on various shot set ups, how and why certain scenes were framed the way that they were, and how the crew wound up using some of the locations used in the film - the opening scene, for example, used two locations, the indoor one being a completely different spot and an old abandoned John Deer dealership that had all the stuff you see in the movie just sort of left there inside, including the neat old vintage Pepsi cooler. The levels on the commentary are a little low so you'll have to turn it up, but it's worth listening to.


    Rounding out the extras is a blooper reel, a couple of minor deleted scenes, a brief one minute trailer for the feature, menus and chapter stops.


    The Final Word:


    Bikini Girls On Ice is a reasonably entertaining throwback to eighties era slasher films complete with pretty girls and copious amounts of bloodshed, and Well Go USA's Blu-ray is the ideal way to see it even if it isn't going to go down in history as the greatest release ever. The DVD, likewise, is also pretty good, containing the same extra content and the same cut of the movie if an understandably less impressive transfer.


    Click on the images below for full size Blu-ray screen caps!






















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