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Virgin Snow

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    Todd Jordan
    Smut is good.

  • Virgin Snow

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    Released by: Video-X-Pix
    Released on: 8/8/2008
    Director: Bill Milling (as Dexter Eagle)
    Cast: Jenny Baxter, Jean Jennings, Hope Stockton, Vanessa del Rio, Sonny Landham, Robert Kerman, Eric Edwards, John Leslie
    Year: 1976
    Purchase from TLA Video

    The Movie:
    Eric Edwards is a college professor visiting some friends, Clint (Roger Caine) and Sally (Hope Stockton), during the worst snowstorm to hit the area in 25 years. After a chilly start between the professor and the single chick at the house, Virginia (Jenny Baxter), she goes on to tell everyone a detailed accounting of some hairy man she doinked, but he wasn't worldy enough for her, so she went with a man named Peter (John Leslie). But he didn't do it for her either. But Randall, with his drugs, brought her to a new level as he boinked her to songs from Pink Floyd's “Dark Side of the Moon” record (think they had permission to use it?). But then he, too, failed to fulfill her emptiness. And that's all in the first thirteen and a half minutes!

    Virginia continues her story. More familiar music continues over the screwing with Mama Cass' “Dream a Little Dream of Me”, Robert Kerman (aka R. Bolla) shows up for a bit of comic brevity, and enter the picture Sonny Landham. He owns a bar and a condo at a Vermont ski resort. They're all there to tear up the slopes and shake some serious grooves. Sally's sister Marilyn (Jean Jennings) comes along and seduces her fiancée Clint, so she gets back at them by blowing Robert Kerman on the chair lift. But Kerman's good fortune doesn't stop there. After a ski accident he finds himself under the care of Nurse Ratched (Vanessa del Rio), while Frank Zappa provides some fuckin' music in the form of “Peaches En Regalia”.

    Time to go to Sonny's bar, and after Marilyn serenades everyone with a song called “Virgin Snow”, it's back to Sonny's condo for an orgy. Alas, the orgy leaves poor Virginia still unfulfilled, but for some reason she narrates some infor about Marilyn being into cock. Then its back to the present with Eric Edwards listening to Virginia going on and on and on about all the whoring she and her friends did, and pretending to be interested in the hopes that he'll see if he can't get the girl off. After sputtering off some crap he got from the “How To Pick Up Girls” handbook, he gets his chance.

    This movie is kind of all over the place, but it all makes sense at the end. Well, sort of. But what an entertaining porno. Helmed by Bill Milling, director of such classic skin flicks as Blonde Goddess and French Shampoo, it goes the extra mile to be more than just brainless smut by delivering location shooting, people who can act, and some darn good sex to boot. Robert Kerman is pretty funny as the ski moron and Sonny Landham is quite bad-ass in his western duds (he wanted to bring a little bit of Texas to Vermont he says). The music is great, even though probably used without the rights, and Jean Jennings is a hot little number. Vanessa del Rio has top billing on the box art, but she barely in it, which is too bad, but we'll take all we can get of her. This one is not up to par with Milling's later works, but all in all this is a fun stab at a hardcore sex comedy that will stand up to more than one viewing.

    Video/Audio/Extras:
    The movie is shown with a 4:3 aspect ratio, and from a tape source form the look of it. It's certainly watchable by a long stretch, but lower on the scale of average DVD picture quality. But the movie doesn't suffer for it, and although things look dark and murky at times and a bit washed out, it shouldn't be something to bitch about. The audio is a 2.0 Dolby track that sounds just fine, with a decent balance and a bit of subwoofer action during some of the music. No authoring issues were noticed. The extras are slim, consisting of trailers for Blonde Goddess and Roommates, a three minute slideshow found on multiple releases from the disc's producer, and demo reel which is also found on many VPX discs.

    The Final Word:
    Fun-time pornography worth checking out. You can't go wrong with Virgin Snow.
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