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Released By:Camp Motion Pictures
Released On: 09/13/2011
Director: Richard Griffin
Cast: Lynn Lowry, Jason McCormick, Michael Reed
The Film:
There is an evil awakened in this land; the notion that a low budget will immediately grant the status of “awesome†upon any horror movie that it touches. I have seen a fair number of horror films with production costs ranging from non-existent to gargantuan, and the sad fact is that most independent filmmakers these days are under the impression that making a film intentionally shitty is the best way to make it an instant cult classic. Not so. I'd like to believe that all of the folks that put out movies in the genre have the best intentions and a healthy dose of talent, but sometimes the movies in question are just so terrible, it's difficult to say anything in defence of film or filmmaker.
And so, judging a book entirely by its cover (art), I approached the Camp Motion Pictures Double Feature of Beyond The Dunwich Horror and Pretty Dead Things with the feeling that I was in for something…appalling. And who knew? You CAN judge a book by its cover. In this case, you SHOULD.
The unconscious body of Andrew Crawford washes up on the shore in Dunwich, after which he is taken to the local asylum. When his brother Kenneth shows up to ask what the deal is with his brother's hospitalization, he is told by the group of bad actors playing doctors that Andrew has been attacking the nurses and raving about demons. Threatening to return with his lawyer, Kenneth goes for beers instead, and hooks up with a really bad actress who seems interested in him. Before he can get her back to her place, though, she reveals that she's really a reporter interested in the recent happenings around Dunwich.
Meanwhile, on a deserted road outside of town, a young couple on their way to a party experience car trouble and are attacked by a lumberjack with tentacles. This doesn't really seem to tie in with the rest of the story, except to illustrate that there are some weird murders happening around town, and Kenneth's brother seems to be the scapegoat…even though the murders are still happening while he's drooling away in a padded room. A rather large plot hole, but what the hell do I know, there's a lumberjack with tentacles.
Through a series of flashbacks, Writer/Director Richard Griffin attempts to tell the story of young Andrew and how he found himself washed up on the shore, after dating a girl involved with a group of cultists who worship the mystical Old Ones. As Kenneth and his reporter friend get closer to the truth about his brother's relationship, the cultists do what they can to try and dissuade him, which involves shouting a lot and waving around pitchforks.
To put it mildly, Beyond the Dunwich Horror is a mess. Occasionally, there's a glimpse of something that could be cool, but that something is quickly beaten down like a red-headed stepchild by the acting talents, which range from bad to worse, the not-so-special effects, and/or the randomness of the script, which switches from serious to “opening dialogue from Bitchin' Camaro†mid-scene. At the very best, it would be better explained if it were a high school drama project. And yet, it's a friggin' masterpiece compared to
Pretty Dead Things. If I needed any confirmation that Richard Griffin's films do nothing for me, Pretty Dead Things hammered it home adequately. The plot basically follows a group of porno actors who also happen to be vampires. While that might sound like the key to happiness to some, little Shelby VampirePornStar has some issues, and orders up a pizza so that she can play with the delivery boy. Unfortunately for her (and the viewer) she leaves him alive and becomes the target for his bloodthirsty (yukyukyuk) revenge, which gets in the way of the vampire road trip to hunt down an old porn director for some reason or another.
Much like Griffin's other film in the set, Pretty Dead Things is a mess; even more of a mess than Beyond the Dunwich Horror. Seeming to want to rely entirely on nudity and sleaze, Griffin provides very little of it. Every “sex†scene comes off as idiotic and amateur, with actors blocking off camera shots and wandering around in the frame like wind-up rabbits. If the dialogue in Dunwich Horror was over the top and ridiculous, the script in Pretty Dead Things seems like a grade-school writing assignment, if grade-school kids wrote about vampires and porn. There are NO redeeming features to the film, unless you think that fake blood and cheesy-looking fangs are awesome.
Video/Audio/Extras:
Camp Motion Pictures has presented both Beyond the Dunwich Horror and Pretty Dead Things on 2 DVDs. The transfers are acceptable for the budget, and look decent enough for the most part, but it won't take a trained eye to spot compression artifacts and other noise in the anamorphic widescreen transfers. The audio tracks are presented in Dolby Digital 2.0 and are also adequate, but the limitations of the recording equipment (or an abnormal level of compression) come through especially in the dialogue.
Both films feature commentaries with Richard Griffin and Producer Ted Marr (Beyond The Dunwich Horror has some of the acting talent as well) and get into such wonderful information as the location, the score, special effects, and working with the actors. Fans of the films will more than likely enjoy these commentaries.
Both discs also feature trailers for other films.
The Final Word:
One man's trash and all of that….somewhere, there are fans of these films. They will be happy that these films are out on DVD.
