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Released by: Troma Entertainment
Released on: 6/14/2011
Director: Dennis Woodruff
Cast: Dennis Woodruff
Year: various
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The Movie:
As the story goes, long-time Hollywood wannabe Dennis Woodruff got tired of waiting for someone to hire him to act in movies, so he decided to make his own. He also decided to distribute them on his own by selling them out of his various vehicles, which are decorated in such a way as to make an insane person jealous. Troma has for whatever reason collected together three of his homemade movies and unleashed them on the unsuspecting, spreading the madness over two discs.
Spaceman (2007, running time 78:14)
Woodruff plays a man from outer space that visits planet Earth. He quickly meets a journalist who wants to tell his story in the piece of a lifetime. He meets other people too, but it seems the journalist is the most important person, aside for the spaceman of course. When the action isn't focused on the spaceman and journalist fumbling through what has to be adlibbing (the dialogue sounds incredibly uncomfortable), the spaceman is walking around Los Angeles getting reactions to people with his spaceman suit and helmet. He finishes with his horrible story and goes back to outer space.
Obsession, Letters To David Lynch (2008, running time 69:26)
Woodruff plays himself as an actor trying to get the attention of David Lynch with the expectation of being hired by Lynch for Lynch's next film. He send Lynch a bunch of letters, asks everyone in town if they've seen him (and if they do tell him Dennis is looking for him), have they heard of him, do they love him as Woodruff does, etc. Some people react to him well, others not so well. He eventually hooks up with Lynch (cleverly disguised) who has more in store for him than a mere ingredient in his artwork. He wants Woodruff to BE his next piece of artwork.
L.A. (no year mentioned, running time 87:12)
This one seems like no more than Woodruff again playing himself, going all over L.A. talking about his life and struggles to make it in the Hollywood celebrity scene, and sharing his philosophies. There doesn't appear to be much of a story, plot-wise, and seems more like a platform for Dennis to dump his thoughts onto a tape. The movie comes off as an autobiographical movie, and is the most interesting of the three, but that's about the same as saying a turd with peanuts in it has more to offer than a turd with none. Shit is shit no matter what. The movie ends abruptly and as he is in mid-sentence, but it probably doesn't matter.
Maybe this viewer is missing the point of these so-called movies, but they are just terrible. Every one of them seems little more than an unscripted story with actors not clever enough to create their own dialogue without it sounding forced and plain stupid. Woodruff seems like an interesting enough kook, but he certainly has no business making movies, at least not like this. They are void of entertainment value and painful to sit through. “Spaceman†could have been something better than corn-kernel poop if it had some dialogue that didn't sound like some junior high kids making a movie on mom and dad's camcorder.
Again, maybe the greatness of these movies can be seen by someone with a different viewpoint, but to these senses all three movies are a complete waste of time.
Video/Audio/Extras:
All three flicks have a ratio of 4:3, and they look like something you would shoot yourself on that little handheld video recorder your in-laws gave you for a wedding gift. They probably were shot on that kind of camera. The image isn't awful, it just looks like a home movie. Colors look ok, and the image is clear enough so you can see Woodruff's reflection often when he's holding the camera. The audio is a mono track that plays out of both front speakers. Sounds as fine as it can with the tiny microphone on the front of those little cameras. Sometimes it's tough to hear the dialogue and then suddenly music snaps you awake.
The only extras are some typical “Tromatic†ones seen on lots of their releases. A few trailers, the same girl wearing glasses showing and showing her tits, and a “Radiation March†clip.
The Final Word:
Shit.
