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Released by: Retromedia
Released on: 10/18/2011
Director: Fred Olen Ray
Cast: Christine Nguyen, Billy Chappell, Holly Sampson, Randy Spears, Michelle Bauer
Year: 2011
Purchase from Amazon
The Movie:
A married couple moves into a new home in the suburbs due to the husband landing a new job. David (Billy Chappell) is an advertising executive who was recruited to a top firm, while his stay-a-home wife Sheri (Christine Nguyen) does nothing for a living. She shouldn't have to, because she's too hot to have to work. Even better, she's a witch. Yes, that's right, a witch. But hubby David has no idea of her secret, and has plenty to think about on his own with his employment change. The big boss wants an amazing ad campaign to hook a huge client and he puts the pressure on David to strut his stuff. His two jealous co-workers, one played by porno stud Randy Spears, who's career spans over four decades, connive and try to cheat so one of them can get the promotion for wowing the boss.
Across the street lives a real busybody named Mrs. Turnbull (Michelle Bauer) who likes to watch people boinking, but when she sees Sheri do the impossible and make things disappear, she becomes convinced the next door neighbor is big pals with Lucifer. Her annoyed and drunk husband doesn't believe her, but she's determined to expose Sheri for the witch she is. Meanwhile Sheri has a witch friend who hears about the ad campaign woes and brings Cleopatra (Cassandra Cruz) from the past to help with things. They can't send her back, so they let her roam around the house and fuck people.
So let's see…an advertising executive married to a hot woman who happens to be a witch, and a nosey neighbor who tries to oust the witch for what she is…that sounds like a great idea for a tv show. How is it as a softcore made-for-late-night-cable movie? Not great. Obviously from the title (which was changed from “Little Witchesâ€) the movie has something to with sex, so you most probably know what you're in for when you pop this one in the player. But just in case you don't have the cognitive capacity to figure it out, here's a clue: 81 minutes of non-interesting simulated sex. Actually it's probably more like 70 minutes of non-interesting sex and 11 minutes of story set-up and unfunny jokes. Michelle Bauer (a.k.a. Pia Snow) has a non-nude role as the Mrs. Kravitz-type comic relief, and while she good in her part, the part just isn't good. The jokes stink and it stinks to see such a great Scream Queen not utilized more effectively.
So really how's the nudity and sex? Well if you like fake boobs and shaved snatches, you'll be happy. If you like natural-bodied women and pubic hair, you'll be let down, so to speak. The sex is exactly what we've been forced to accept in softcore movies over the last 20 years or so: hands covering up the good parts, pelvis against butt moving in the same direction (no one screws like that), and tits that defy gravity. If that's your bag, then this one has lots to offer. Otherwise, this movie is a complete waste of time.
Video/Audio/Extras:
The movie looks pretty slick on the disc, with a 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen ratio. Colors look sharp, the detail is good, and the black levels are more than satisfying. Skin tones look great, which is probably a good thing since what's on the screen most of the time is exposed skin. The audio chores are handled by a 2.0 Dolby Digital track and it sounds good. No authoring issues were noticed. As for extras…just two trailers, one for the feature and one for Bikini Time Machine.
The Final Word:
A boring entry into the softcore category, Sexual Witchcraft might work to help bust a nut if you're desperate (or a teenaged boy), but other than that…it something best left alone.
