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Released by: After Hours Cinema
Released on: 12/27/2005
Director: Nick Phillips/Emilio Portici
Cast: Uschi Digard, Jane Louise, Jane Louise
Year: 1970
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The Movie:
The people from After Hours bring to the smut table a couple of early 70s skin flicks, one of which starring none other than the amazing Uschi Digard. How can you go wrong with anything she shows up in? You can't. It's as simple as that. No piece of celluloid was EVER wasted filming that incredible creature.
Dr. Christina of Sweden (1970)
The man who gave the geeks Ethel Janowski in Criminally Insane put forth a movie a few years earlier about a journalist who travels to Paris to do an expose on the sex scene playing out there. It seems she's on the story of a lifetime, watching people boink and jotting down notes, as she narrates her thoughts. And her thoughts are just plain dirty. She really digs her work, and you know what? Maybe a book will come out it. But until then, we'll just have to listen to her tell us how much she is enjoying watching the young lovers, male/female and female/female, and delivering such wonderful dialogue as “Watch out, you may be queer and not know itâ€. Or “I must have been turning into a faggy, lesbian bull dyke.†And about Uschi, as she watches her get it on with another woman, “I wanted some of that 45 inches. She was a gorgeous piece.†Yes she is.
In absolutely no way a doctor, the journalist narrates the entire affair, which can get a bit tedious, but the pedestrian view of Paris in 1970 that we are treated to makes up for it. A lot of interesting things show up in the frame when she's walking about town and it's a great little time capsule for those who dig that kind of thing. Plus the journalist/narrator is easy on the eyes and that helps too, though sadly she never sheds her duds.
There's only three sex scenes in the movie, but they're pretty hot even without the sounds. Narration and music takes the place of that. And the music…well it's the same thing over and over and might not leave you brain for a while. The director obviously knows how to make an erotic scene. He even uses some slo-mo now and then. Uschi and her Taj Mahal of Bossoms are in this one, and her scene is of course the highlight of the film. Sexy as sexy can be and looking so wonderful in her nakedness, she's up to some lesbo hijinks and her blonde partner seems to really be into her. Worth the price of the disc just for this scene. The rest of the movie is enjoyable, mainly due to the Paris street scenes, of which there are plenty. And at only one hour and one minute long, it's a fun little flick.
Sex Nurse (1970)
A doctor's office is open for the day, and the sexy nurses are ready to help the sick. The ladies go to the doctor himself, and the males have their needs seen to by the nurses. But the type of medicine these medical professionals provide doesn't come from a bottle or needle. Nope, it comes from their loins. One after another the patients come in and get serviced. “You have twenty dollars?†Yes, that sounds reasonable.
Short on story, slow as can be, and not all that sexy, it does have some laughable moments with its awful dialogue and even more awful attempts at comic performances. The girls are decent enough looking (though none recognizable) and the doctor has some funky posters in his office. All is not lost. Certainly the lesser of the two movies and seemingly thrown on the disc as a filler (it's part of the extras menu), there's not a whole lot here by way of classic smut. After Hours made a credit sequence for it, presumably due to the original credit sequence (if there ever was one) being lost. It probably cost more to make the credit sequence than it did to make the movie.
Video/Audio/Extras:
Christina is shown in 1.33:1 fullscreen and Nurses has a 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen ratio. Both look beat to shit, just like so many of the grindhouse movies look. Adds to the charm right? They are of course watchable, and there's no sense going any further into the visual quality. Watermarks from the label appear on both and it's understandable why they do that. May as well get advertisement for your company out of the bootleggers. The audio is on the same level as the video. Beat up, crappy, but absolutely serviceable.
Extras consist of a five-minute interview with director Nick Millard (a.k.a. Nick Philips) where he talks about the film and a bit about himself. Following this is another five-minute interview, really it's more of a video review of Dr. Christina, by grindhouse film historian 42nd Street Pete. Also as a bonus, a six-page booklet is included with words by Dr. Eroticus, whoever that is. The box copy mentions grindhouse trailers, but sadly none are on the disk.
The Final Word:
Dr. Christina of Sweden hands-down is the better of the two, and is a great way to spend an hour. Sex Nurses should get a few laughs out of a drunken party crowd. After Hours have put out a nice little disc here. Worth a look for sure.
