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Released by: Anchor Bay
Released on: 1/17/2012
Director: Abe Sylvia
Cast: Juno Temple, Jeremy Dozier, Milla Jovovich, William H. Macy, Mary Steenburgen, Dwight Yoakam
Year: 2010
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The Movie:
- Danielle (Juno Temple) - a troubled teen with no father figure. She's a bitch, a delinquent, and a slut.
- Clarke (Jeremy Dozier) - a fat loner teen with an abusive father, a mousy mother, oh and he's gay.
- Joan - a bag of flour that doubles as a child for Danielle and Clarke, who get paired up for a class project.
- Sue-Ann (Milla Jovovich) - Danielle's mother; a high school slut who got pregnant. She latches on to a Mormon boyfriend and cannot control Danielle.
- Ray (William H. Macy) - The Mormon boyfriend.
- Joseph (Dwight Yoakam) - Clarke's asshole father
- Peggy (Mary Steenburgen) - Clarke's mousy mother.
That's good enough. Danielle gets in trouble again and the principal puts her in the Challengers program, which is basically special education, with the condition that if she can clean up her act he'll put her back with the “normal†kids. She get partnered up with Clarke in a class designed to teach teens the responsibility of parenthood, and the two of them are forced to work together. Guess what? They become friends. Danielle has no power over him like she does other boys, since Clarke has no interest in her sexually. He's not a girl, so she doesn't have to deal with the constant competition to be better than they are. Clarke can talk to her since she has no interest in him either, sexually, and he doesn't need to hide who he is like he does around the guy at school and his asshole father. So they become fast friends, listen to 80s women rockers, and care for their baby.
Danielle decides she needs to meet her father, once they figure out who he is from an old yearbook, and the two go on a road trip. This leads them to the paths they need to take on their way to adulthood, and they learn to shed their outer protective shells and be who they were meant to be, rather than who they think other people want them to be. Aww…a touching coming of age story.
The movie starts out okay. Danielle screws a guy in his car right in the school parking lot. She's a megabitch to the teachers and the students, and especially her mother. But it very quickly turns into a typical piece of crap that is predictable and cliched. The story takes place in 1987, but they have the clothing way off. It looks more like 1982 than 1987. Clarke loves Pat Benatar and Joan Jett, as well as seemingly ANY female singer from the era, and most of the music is of that type so be ready for that.
And another thing…the box copy says “graphic nudity†where the “R†rating is but there only nudity in this one is in the form of photos. One at the beginning of a naked couple (one is in a chair, the other is standing) and a few photos of naked men (penises are shown…GASP!…), which makes up about one second of the running time. How in the frig is that graphic nudity? Lies. Lies to trick guys into watching this movie with their ladies. This “pitch-perfect comedy†is barely funny, and is nothing more than a chick flick for the nostalgic type. The only thing this one has going for it is the acting is good. All the main characters put out a solid performance. But that's it. Don't waste your time. You won't get laid for watching this one.
Video/Audio/Extras:
This is a good-looking DVD, with vibrant colors and nice detail. The black levels are strong and the picture is clear and free of dirt, artifacts, and aliasing. The aspect ratio is 2.40:1 is that matters to you. There doesn't seem to be any DNR applied either, nor edge enhancement. Overall, it delivers a pleasing image. The audio is handled by a 5.1 Dolby Digital track and it sounds great. The music (such that it is) comes through the speakers with purpose, but that's about the only time the surround is noticeable. Clear dialogue, good balance, and no issues to mention. The extras include a commentary by the director and some deleted/extended scenes. To be honest, the extras were not viewed or listened to. Enough pain was inflicted with the feature.
The Final Word:
Typical, predictable, and feel good. Blech. If you must, get this for the lady of the house and go do something- ANYTHING- else.
