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Released by: Something Weird Video
Released on: July 3, 2012.
Director: Doris Wishman
Cast: Chesty Morgan, Harry Reems
Year: 1973/1974/1975
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The Movie:
Something Weird Video continues to delve into the world of vintage exploitation films with this, the fourth in their series of Blu-ray reissues (the first three being a pair of H.G. Lewis releases and Basketcase) and the first time the films of the late, great Doris Wishman have been given the high definition treatment. The first two star the legendary Chesty Morgan (a former burlesque dancer with an infamous 73 inch chest) and have been released on DVD at least twice, while the third never made it to pressed disc (though SWV did issue it on DVD-R), making this an interesting disc for fans of Wishman and seventies American exploitation films in general.
DEADLY WEAPONS (1973):
Born in 1937 as Lillian Wilczkowsky, Chesty Morgan plays Crystal, a woman who makes a living as an advertising executive and who is involved with Larry (Richard Towers), a mobster. Things are going fine for the loving couple, despite the fact that he warns her he's nothing but trouble, until Larry proves her right and winds up murdered, just after proposing to Crystal who hears him being killed over the phone. She's perceptive enough to start putting together some details as to who was behind his death, at which point she decides to pose as a stripper and off the guys who killed her man, one at a time (one of whom is Harry Reems)… by smothering them with her giant boobs.
Basically one massive seventy-five minute long explosion of bad taste, Deadly Weapons gets by with only the flimsiest of plot lines and is far more interested in exploiting the freakshow attributes of its (very obviously dubbed) starlet. A rather stern looking women with a bleach blonde shag mullet, Chesty sure is a sight to behold. She's not in the greatest of shape nor is she the most attractive woman to ever walk the Earth but those jugs… they're insane. You can't take your eyes off of them and that's not meant as a compliment - they really are insane and quite believable as the instruments of death which Wishman has portrayed them as in this film.
As far as the acting goes - oof! Morgan was dubbed likely because of her Polish accent but it doesn't help her performance. She sort of shambles around the various tacky low rent locations used for the shoot will Wishman's camera drifts from those zeppelins to a coffee mug to a phone to whatever random inanimate object she decided needed a close up at any given time. Chesty is definitely game for the material but no, she's not a good actor at all. Reems, on the other hand, is fun in his supporting role and obviously hamming it up in that fairly charming manner of his, while Towers gets offed early enough in the movie to leave little to no lasting impression outside of some awkwardly delivered lines of stilted cliché ridden dialogue.
DOUBLE AGENT 73 (1974):
The second film on the disc casts Chesty as Jane, also known as Agent 73 and who, when the film begins, is enjoying a relaxing vacation at a nudist camp (which will come as no surprise to those familiar with Wishman's output). Her vacation doesn't last long though, as she's called by the higher ups to jump back into action and track down a dreaded drug dealer named Ivan Toplar (LuisBurdi) who has managed to more or less corner the market on heroin imports. She's not given much to work with but Agent 99, who worked the case before Jane, did at least report back that Toplar has an identifying scar on his face before being killed in the line of duty.
Armed with that valuable information, Jane has a camera surgically implanted into one of her breasts that she'll use to take pictures of… pretty much everything she comes into contact with in this movie. She takes boob shots of all sorts of stuff and all sorts of people. How the film is taken out and developed is left to the viewer's imagination but at any rate, she heads out into the film to figure all of this out - but there's a catch! There's a bomb in her other boob that will blow up if she doesn't get her boss the info he needs to crack the case in time. And then there's the matter of true love… what's a girl to do?
If you dug the first movie then it's pretty much a sure thing that you'll dig this quickly made cheap and easy follow up just as much. It doesn't improve on anything, nor does it feature smothering boob deaths (though we do get a fairly awesome poison boob death instead), but it does add the whole bomb twist to the plot and the inclusion of the boob camera needs to be seen to be believed. Every time Chesty needs to take a picture - which is often - she lugs out her massive left funbag and lifts it up, at which point a flash (??) goes off and a camera noise pops up in the sound mix. Science and biology were evidently not strong points in Wishman's filmography. Again, Chesty wanders around with the same sort of stunned look on her face that she exhibited so brazenly in the first film and again, Wishman periodically seems more enamored with inanimate objects than with her star, who is frequently framed as nothing more than a frightening canyon of cleavage. The film also features a lot of zooms that show off Chesty's shoes for some reason.
After Morgan made these two films for Wishman she would fly to Rome to appear in Fellini's Casanova. Her scenes were cut. She continued to perform on stage until 1991 and has since retired to Florida. You can read a fascinating (and genuinely tragic) article on her life by clicking here.
THE IMMORAL THREE (1975):
Last but not least, we're treated to this story of three orphans - Ginny (Cindy Boudreau), Sandy (Sandra Kay) and Nancy (Michele Marie) - who meet at the funeral of a woman that they learn was their mother - a woman referred to only as… Double Agent 73 (seriously - and though she appears in a few scenes, it's obviously not Chesty playing the part) and who we're told was killed on the job. At any rate, surprise! They're all sisters! And in grand Scooby Doo fashion, they stand to inherit a million dollars if they can track down and bring to justice the fiend who murdered the mother that they never knew they had.
So our trio of hotties who are not orphans at all head out into the wilds of the world to avenge their mother's death and reap the rewards of a substantial inheritance. How are they going to do this? Well, Ginny decides to do it by getting hammered and then doing a strip tease for a guy she picks up - somehow this guy actually has some details for her and he lets her know that the murderer's name was… nope! No dice, Cheech! He gets killed right then and there before he can spill the beans. This turn of events inspires Ginny to bone a guy in an elevator before heading to Las Vegas where she meets a man who tells her that her mom was a whore. We kind of knew that already and it's a bit of a letdown but Ginny gets pissed and takes this sucker down hard. The third time is the charm, right? Sandy's just sort of been hanging out not doing much of anything to help aside from fellating some fruit, but Sandy, well she's on to something… though she might not like what she finds.
As nutty as anything else Wishman has made, The Immoral Three is pretty great in its own ridiculously terrible way. We get lots of nudity courtesy of the three genuinely attractive leading ladies and we get some decent sporadic violence. It's not shot any better than any of her other films, so it still looks like it was made dirt cheap but that's all part of the charm. Yes, the camera tends to go to strange places for reasons that don't make sense and yes, the audio is periodically out of synch for whatever reason but the plot moves at a good pace and the score is strange enough to stand out. Again, we get lots of shots of feet and a complete disregard for logic of any kind, but if you're a fan of Wishman's output, you don't need to read this review to already know that.
Video/Audio/Extras:
OK, let's get to the technical side of things. When these three films were released on DVD in the past, they were presented fullframe and those transfers were likely open matte. If they were shown that way seems unlikely (the IMDB says 1.85.1) but they're presented here on this Blu-ray disc in AVC encoded 1080p high definition 1.78.1 widescreen and they do look tighter in certain spots than they do in their fullframe versions. With that said, the framing isn't ever compromised to the point where the movies seem 'wrong' - but you may notice that periodically the tops of heads are a little trimmed. It's also worth keeping in mind that we are talking about Doris Wishman movies here, and that it's entirely possible they were composed for widescreen viewing in their theatrical heyday, albeit just very, very poorly. Debate that as you will - if you're used to the fullframe versions you might take issue, otherwise sit back and enjoy the ride.
Framing aside, the quality of the transfers here is great, quite a bit better than most would probably expect. The elements used appear to have been in great shape as there isn't any serious print damage to note. There's a bit of jitter here and there during the second film but otherwise the image is strong, stable and nicely detailed. If there's any noise reduction applied, it's minor and there aren't any weird issues with grain. Colors look fantastic, every one of Chesty's horrible outfits is as garish as you could ever hope for. Detail is also strong, so get ready to see those stretch marks like you've never seen them before, while skin tones look quite natural as well. There aren't any obvious issues with compression artifacts or edge enhancement and texture is also pretty impressive which, again, lets us appreciate not only the finery in which Ms. Morgan is attired but also the finer points of Harry Reem's mighty moustache.
Though the packaging promises DTS-HD Mono tracks for the three films included on this disc, sadly that's not the case and we get Dolby Digital 2.0 Mono tracks instead. Despite that fact, they sound fine for what they are but the lack of a lossless option will understandably irk some. Dialogue stays clean and easy to follow and whatever flatness is there no doubt stems back to the original elements. There are no alternate language options or subtitles provided.
Extras are slim, limited to a gallery of Wishman related vintage exploitation artwork and a Wishman trailer gallery. Menus and chapter selection are also included. The previous DVD releases of Deadly Weapons and Double Agent 73 included a breast augmentation short film and a Tempest Storm burlesque film respectively - those are not included on this Blu-ray.
The Final Word:
Something Weird has once again brought a trio of oddball titles to Blu-ray that somehow manage to look far more impressive in high definition than most of us will have thought possible. The lack of lossless audio is an irritant and more extras would have been nice but all in all, this disc is a nice upgrade on the two Chesty films and the inclusion of The Immoral Three kind of makes it a no-brainer. A trilogy of Doris Wishman films in 1080p - pretty amazing when you think about it…
