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Released by: Impulse Pictures
Released on: 12/14/10
Director: Ernst Hofbauer
Cast: Puppa Armbruster, Peter Bohlke, Ulrike Butz, Johannes Buzalski, Marianne Dupont, Jane Iwanoff, Sonja Jeannine, Gunther Kieslich
Year: 1974
The Movie:
The seventh trip back to the well that was the Schoolgirl Report series finds director Ernst Hofbauer once again exploring very familiar territory, that territory being fetching and attractive young ladies frequently in various states of undress and caught in rather compromising positions. Like the six films in the series that precede it, What The Heart Must Thereby… attempts to disguise itself as a film of some moral standing by presenting its batch of as cautionary tales, purporting to warn concerned parents about the dangers that their own young, nubile daughters could very well face as they blossom into womanhood and strut around in hot mini-skirts and go-go boots. This time around, however, those involved don't seem to be taking things quite so seriously, and the seventh entry in the series actually feels a little fresher than the two that came before.
The vignettes that make up the whole of Schoolgirl Report 7: What The Heart Must Thereby…
play out as so:
The filmmakers cameras somehow manage to make their way into a clandestine house of ill repute where more foxy schoolgirls than you can shake a schalger at are raking in the cash that local old perverts are only too happy to pay for a shot at a shagging. Things get complicated, however, when one of their best clients falls n love with the owner's sister and calls the cops on them once she turns him away. This plot device sets up the rest of the stories that play out in the movie, because as the court case plays out, we get to learn firsthand how and why these seemingly innocent, if very well constructed and delightfully flirtatious, girls became women of the evening.
From there we learn about a nymphomania c named Helga who is so into sex that she's running a homework for sex exchange ring right under the noses of the faculty and parents. Working on the same principal is a local ice cream parlor employee who hands out free sundaes in exchange for action received quite literally under the table - a good deal if you can get it. Ice cream really isn't all that expensive. Things go wrong for him when his wife figures out what he's up to, but that's par for the course. Later, a beautiful girl named Monika decides to hitchhike her way across the countryside and finds it all too easy to fool men to the side of the road where she's soon learning the fine art of robbery. Not to be outdone, Karla outsmarts her father's business partner and lures him into bed with her. Later on, a teacher has a run in with some rather randy students in his classroom who seem far more into his teaching style then they should be, and finally, a lovely young woman named Gaby falls in love with her teacher and decides that in order to get him into bed she'll impersonate someone else.
Played with more of a wink and a nod than some of the other films in the series, the humor in this entry is pretty effective. Corny, yes, and it quite frequently takes the easy way out in that you'll see many of the gags coming (pun intended) from a mile away but the familiarity here isn't necessarily a bad thing. With a picture like this, you know what you're getting and there's something to be said for that. Naked chase scenes, goofy jokes, and oddly misplaced moral fisting all come together in the uniquely wacky way that only German exploitation movies of the 1970s seem to be able to offer.
Video/Audio/Extras:
Impulse's 1.66.1 anamorphic widescreen transfer is pretty decent even if it isn't completely pristine. A fine coat of natural film grain is present throughout the film as are some occasional instances of really minor print damage in the form of specs and tiny scratches. None of this is particularly distracting but it is there. Color reproduction looks a bit faded but is otherwise okay while the black levels are closer to grey at times. Detail is alright for the most part, but it won't blow you away.
The German language Dolby Digital Mono track, which comes with optional English subtitles, has a little bit of background hiss here and there but you probably won't notice it unless you're specifically listening for it. Aside from that, this is a decent, well-balanced track that delivers completely audible dialogue and a nice score.
Like all of the other releases so far in this line up, the only extras are a static menu screen and chapter selection. Aside from that, this DVD is barebones, though that cover art is good enough to eat.
The Final Word:
The seventh entry in the long running 'sexumentary' series is one of the more interesting in the lien released on DVD so far. The odd morality plays that the filmmakers wrap up in fairly graphic sex featuring beautiful young women are still just as see through as they were before, but here we get a bit more style and slightly better humor. Impulse's disc won't blow you away but it offers up the film uncut and in pretty good shape - fans of the series will certainly appreciate this disc.
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