Triad Wars

Released By: Lionsgate
Released On: 10/09/2012
Director: Dennis Law
Cast: Jing Wu, Simon Yam, Sammo Hung, Lam Suet
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The Film:

If you are expecting anything creative from a movie called Triad Wars, you're probably expecting a little too much. I tried to be objective going into it, and paid the high price of extreme boredom. Consisting of a few mediocre action scenes placed here and there with a whole lot of amateur writing attempting to hold it together, Triad Wars (aka Fatal Move) drops the ball so many times, it's hard to believe that the film got made; that it did, and managed to attract such a roster of great actors, is mind-boggling.

Lin Ho Lung (played by Sammo Hung) is a triad mob leader who has a few issues with his extended Family. The police are on his back, he's got a brother with a severe gambling problem, and an up and comer with a blue emo haircut named Lok Tin Hung (Wu Jing) is looking to take over the streets by wiping out as many people as possible with his bitchen sword skills. What's an Asian mobster going to do when his empire is falling to pieces around him? When he's not playing hopscotch and reminiscing about the past, he looks stern and portly while talking about respect and honour. And that's when he gets actual screen time. This is the description that's pretty much given on the back of the DVD case, and it's as far as you'll need to go into this film to figure out what's happening; Writer and Director Dennis Law has served up a steaming pile of crap and expected that people were going to eat it up.

It's easy to talk about the good things in Triad Wars, because there are really only two memorable parts; one is the completely ridiculous sword fight that takes place with Wu Jing near the beginning of the film, because it's so completely stupid and unrealistic that it's entertaining and laughable. The only other part of the film worth noting is the battle towards the end between Wu Jing's character and Sammo Hung….Hung still has a few chops, and puts them to good use here, pretty much the only time in two hours of Triad Wars that he's allowed to get off of his ass and do anything.

If this review sounds disjointed and scattered, it's because Triad Wars is such a bumbling mess, it's pretty much on par with a college-level video project. The acting and dialogue are ridiculous. Law's misuse of some excellent resources in his actors should be criminal. The amount of cartoonish CGI, including some of the most unrealistic blood animations ever seen is jaw-droppingly bad, and glaring errors in the execution of some of the special effects is infuriating. How did this film get made again? One can only hope that Law's imdb entry is accurate in that he hasn't directed a film in over two years, and has nothing upcoming in the rumour mill.

Seriously, this film is so terrible, it will actually make you angry. At almost two hours, it's also frustrating, and a complete waste of time. But, as I've said, what did you expect from a movie called Triad Wars? Something original?

Video/Audio/Extras:

Lionsgate's DVD release of Triad Wars is about as lame as the film itself. The 2.35:1 anamorphic transfer is blotchy with poor black levels, and a whole whack of compression issues and other artifacts that are especially noticeable when the picture is dark; which is plenty.

The Cantonese 5.1 Dolby Digital Audio track is serviceable enough, with dialogue consistent and clear, but not anything to write home about. The surrounds are used here and there, but with so many dialogue scenes, don't expect your sub and rear speakers to get a workout.

Some extras are also included. Seven minutes of deleted scenes, which are about as uneventful as the rest of the film, and a 10-minute making of which manages to not get to in depth start the supplements off, which are rounded out by a trailer for the film and a few other “Also from Lionsgate” trailers which are also uninspiring.

The Final Word:

What a piece of garbage this film is. Avoid at all costs, and if for some reason you think this flick is good, avoid this mediocre transfer.