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COLLISION EARTH
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- Published: 02-06-2013, 09:25 AM
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Collision Earth
Released by: Anchor Bay Entertainment
Released on: December 11, 2012.
Director: Paul Ziller
Cast: Kirk Acevedo, Diane Farr
Year: 2012
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The Movie:
My first exposure to a Syfy original movie was JERSEY SHORE SHARK ATTACK. Aside from the ropey cgi I remember vividly thinking - this is dumb fun. Why all the hate for Syfy productions?
That was then. This is now.
COLLISION EARTH is a dumb as a bag of wet hammers end of the world flick revolving around a scientist named James (Kirk Acevedo) who recently worked for a scientific government agency but was let go when his pet project lost it's funding. James is trying to awaken the world to a deadly threat - interplanetary collisions, or to be blunt, space rocks hitting planet earth and knocking us off our alignment. We know this from his speech in front of a rapt audience at some science convention. James is also married to a space shuttle pilot named Victoria (Diane Farr) who just happens to be on patrol near the planet Mercury when it goes rogue. Mercury has somehow been knocked off it's orbit and is headed for a collision with earth! But before that happens, Mercury is hurling magnetized chunks at the earth. You see, all these planetary shenanigans have caused a magnetic reaction in the sun - and earth and Mercury are pulling towards each other.
Can our hero talk his wife through the necessary steps in her spaceship to stop this tragedy with the help of 2 conveniently appearing college students who happen to have the world's most kick-ass Ham radio?
Yep, it's ARMAGEDDON on a two dollar budget, DEEP IMPACT without the human factor, THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW's idiot cousin.
The Syfy trademarks are all present and accounted for. Horrendous eye-meltingly awful cgi. Wooden acting. Flat cinematography. Generic music. And a conclusion you can smell a mile away.
This one is a lot like staring into the sun - it's just not a good idea to look at.
Video/Audio/Extras:
Starz's MPEG-4 AVC 1080p 1.78:1 transfer looks good. Too good actually because the strong resolution, solid black levels and excellent detail do a terrific job of highlighting the shoddy cgi - large portions of this thing look like a computer screen running effects your 12 year old cousin just cobbled together. When you are actually looking at people and not fake cars flying through fake skies hitting fake sidewalks this is a strong image. Faces and clothes look quite nice.
The audio is a different story however. The Dolby TrueHD 5.1 mix is a bit of a mess. Surround activity is alternately sparse or suddenly booming. The LFE use is erratic though dialog is generally clear. It's an adequate presentation but far from ideal.
Extras? Zip, zilch and nada. Not even a trailer.
The Final Word:
Just one - avoid.
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