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UXB

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    Todd Jordan
    Smut is good.

  • UXB

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    Released by: Dark Horse Comics
    Released on: October 22nd, 2013.
    Writer: Colin Lorimer
    Artist: Colin Lorimer
    Purchase at Amazon

    This not-so-distant-future tale is of three brothers, living the life of the wealthy while wearing suits that keep them from all harm. No disease can affect them, no injury can harm them, and apparently it allows them to re-grow amputated limbs. Back before the world succumbs to an economic collapse, an eccentric billionaire industrialist created life suits for his three sons to live in to keep them safe from everything the soon-to-be-a-shit-hole-of-a-planet can throw at them. The one hitch, they can never take them off and oops! Seems someone forgot to mention before they put them on that the suits make them eunuchs.

    The three men all vastly differ from one another, aside from being bound for life to the suits. Muc, the youngest, is a sensitive boy; sensitive meaning both in spirit and psychic abilities. Rifter, the oldest, is an obnoxious, porn-addicted douche bag, and the source of most of the humorous and obscene dialogue. The middle brother, Das Bombast, is addicted to film. It's all he cares about. And he is also the narrator of the story, which jumps back and forth for a while between when they got the suits as teens and then as adults, which is the bulk of the story.

    The boys aren't the only ones who had a suit made for them. Their wheelchair-bound childhood playmate Suzie (also the focus of Muc's affections) gave herself to their father as a guinea pig for the suit. Up until volunteered for the first human trial, lots of monkeys died horrible deaths due to activation of the suit while wearing it. But Suzie lived, and as a result was able to walk again. Amazing suits indeed. But Suzie's suit malfunctions due to something stupid, but unintentional, that Rifter does and as a result she is blown to bits. Seems the suit needs a little tweaking. Have they heard the last of her? And the story hasn't even kicked in. Make way for the real action to begin in the form of mutants and zombies and revenge.

    The writing seems actually aimed towards the more juvenile readers, if you can believe that with lines like “here comes Captain Cunty, Savior of the Universe” (actually maybe you can). Profanity for the sake of profanity much like a Tarantino or Rob Zombie movie, lots of pop culture references, and dialogue that seems forced are things that lead me to put it in a juvenile category. Not that there's anything wrong with that, just don't come to the table looking for Alan Moore or Kurt Busiek level material or you will be vastly disappointed. Lorimer's writing may not be the star of his tale, but his artwork however is.

    His style is realistic and highly detailed, but not to the point of being so busy you gloss over it. His art commands to be looked at. He uses interesting panel layouts as well as very appealing colors with an overlaying blue tone with this graphic novel, which helps give the story a cold and somewhat desolate feeling, much like the men in the suits must have felt. And he's not afraid of going for the gruesome, not at all, and he delivers it with great effectiveness. When the suit is being tested on monkeys, man is it nasty. People die too, and in no less horrible ways, with plenty of vibrant red splashes. Maybe he makes the non-red colors in those panels more muted or something, because the red is at times quite striking.

    Originally published in Dark Horse Comics Presents Volume Two over the course of a few issues, UXB is entertaining enough, but void of an interesting and engaging story or any characters that make a mark. No one is all that likeable and the dialogue does at times get a bit foolish. But the artwork…it's worth it for that alone. He could almost tell this story without any dialogue at all and instead just use his illustrations.
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