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Released by: Synapse Films
Released on: June 3rd, 2014.
Director: Various
Cast: Various
Year: Various
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The Movie:
Before the VCR and long before the DVD and Blu-ray player, there was the 8mm film and like all film/video formats, it was frequently used for porn. So yeah, in the decades past, there was a lot of 8mm porn made, shown either in the basements of horny guys with 8mm projectors or in makeshift storefront theaters on the seedy side of town. A lot of this material has probably been lost to the ravages of time, but certainly not all of it and Impulse Pictures have been good enough to mill around and dig up another batch of the kind of porn your dad, or maybe your grandfather, used to get off to. And good for them, because a lot of it is pretty great and almost all of it is more interesting than the gonzo smut that floods the shelves of modern day smut shops and online retailers.
The content on this disc is presented as it was shot - without sound - and while there isn't a lot of plot or any semblance of character development, some of this stuff is interesting to see and occasionally kinda steamy. Picking up where the first volume left off, Impulse Pictures once again presents a collection of weird old smut. Here's the dirt on the filth that hides beneath the confines of the main menu screen…
Untitled: A rather plain looking dirty blonde sits on a ratty couch with her legs spread reading a dirty magazine. This puts her in the mood and she lets her fingers to the walking. A shaggy looking dude comes into the room, rubs her legs a bit and then goes down on her. She blows him, then sits on his face, and then they screw. She keeps her red knee high socks on throughout, which is a nice touch.
Randy: A dark haired cutie in a black and white striped shirt shoves her ass in this guy's face. He plays with her booty for a bit and then takes her undies down. Her top comes off and then he goes down on her. She blows him and then gets down on all fours. He goes for it, and they both get off.
California Girl: John Holmes is just hanging out on the couch looking dirty and reading the newspaper when a chesty blonde hanging out at a bar strategically placed near his couch rubs her nipples. This doesn't quite get his attention so she spreads her legs but no dice, whatever he is reading is really good stuff. She goes behind the bar and makes a drink and heads over towards him. She takes off her clothes and then gives him head, at which point he wakes up. they screw and he needs to shave, maybe take a shower too.
Ripe Tomato: A curvy young dark haired lady is working on the garden outside of her suburban home. A dude walks into the shadows nearby and peeps on her and when she heads inside and forgets to lock the door, he heads in too. She strips and heads into bed and he shows up and rapes her. She doesn't' seem to mind. She sorts fights back but not really. They go at it and he finishes up and this ends pretty abruptly.
Shower With A Friend: When this loops stars sleeping dude has a blonde going down on him. He doesn't wake up right away but eventually he does and they head to the shower so she can blow him some more. Then they screw.
Fucking United: Two stewardesses head into an apartment where they find a naked dude in bed dry humping his pillow. He looks kinda like Bill Paxton, and they decide this is arousing so they take off their clothes, make out in front of him and then have a three way.
Untitled: A swinging guy is hanging out with two swinging girls at a swinging pad. They all take off their clothes at the same time and the girls go down on him. After that, they take turns riding him until everyone is satiated. In between riding sessions the girls make out with one another, because that's what happens in porno movies.
Untitled: A trio of scruffy looking guys in weird pants peer over a balcony at a bevy of beauties strutting down the street. The ladies head inside and everyone starts making out with everyone else. The guys are outnumbered here so there's lots of girl on girl action going on in the background. Bad fashion is everywhere, lots of velour and polyester. Everyone has an orgy and seems to have a pretty fun time. Someone needs to get that couch washed once this is all over and done with because it's gotta be pretty smelly at this point.
Untitled: A brunette diddles her Skittle while a blonde goes down on some guy in a pretty mod looking living room. Nice potted plant on the table, a patchwork quilt pillow situated on the couch. Brunette uses a dildo, blondie swallows sword and then they trade spots. Eventually they double team him and he laughs all the way to the bootie bank.
Purse Snatcher: A black chick and a white chick (hottie Desiree Cousteau) exchange some money and then make out. White chick has a mushroom head hair cut and big knockers, black chick is decked out like she just walked off the set of a Donna Summers video. They have rad big breasted lesbian sex on a dirty couch. The white chick is thick in all the right ways. A black dude looks on from a doorway and then decides to get in on the action, and who can blame him.
Carpenter And The Cutie: A lovely lass with short curly hair rides on a swing-set, her skirt lifting up just enough to give us a hint as to what's gonna happen next. A guy in a bad green leisure suit and a striped hat gives her a push and then slows her down. They make out and then head into a red room where he goes down and she follows suit but not before he gives her butthole a serious munch. His clothes come off and… SURPRISE… he's a she. They have lesbian sex and share a double ended dong and then it more or less just ends.
Women In Love: A curvy woman in fancy ass lingerie plays with herself on a couch. Another woman clad in a polyester black rose print shirt comes in and they make out, cautiously at first but soon their enthusiasm level increases. They lick each other and poke one another and yeah, that'll do.
Lezzie Virgins: An all new San Francisco Films production! Or so we're told. An Hispanic girl struts in the mirror while a Caucasian girl plays with herself on the bed nearby. They take off their clothes and kiss and go down on one another and fool around a lot. You won't believe for a second either of them are virgins but more power to them, they look like they're having a lot of fun and it's nice of them to let us watch. The stockings are a nice touch too.
Tongue Sisters: As one girl waters some potted plants, another girl uses an old school vibe on herself. She's probably having more fun. At any rate, plant waterer gets what the other girl is putting out there, though it takes her a while. Once she does, it's one black haired hottie on top of another as they go at it and show each other a good time.
Lovely Lesbians: The final entry starts off with a short haired brunette cramming her tongue down the throat of a blonde in front of some weird psychedelic poster art hanging on the wall. They go at it French kissing for a while and then the clothes start to come off. They screw around and have fun with a toy that looks like ET's finger and then they use toys on themselves and watch one another before going at it au natural. It's pretty rad.
Video/Audio/Extras:
Each of the 8mm loops on this disc are presented in their original 1.33.1 fullframe aspect ratio and transferred from film. They haven't been fully restored so expect a fair bit of print damage and plenty of visible scratches but that doesn't really detract from the experience much. Colors are faded and black levels all over the place but if the elements are in rough shape, at least the disc is well authored and not plagued by compression artifacts or edge enhancement problems.
The audio is on par with the video, sort of. This stuff was shot without sound, so really we just the 'click' of a projector in terms of audio, there's really not much to write about here.
Extras? Nope. You get a menu and loop selection but that's it. Inside the case, however, you will discover a booklet of liner notes from Cinema Sewer's Robin Bougie that elaborate on the importance of the material showcased here and which talk about how many boners Ms. Cousteau has rightfully given him over the years. It's a fun read that uses some pertinent quotes from a 1979 issue of Swank to nice effect!
The Final Word:
If you're not a seventies XXX loop aficionado, this collection isn't going to convert you but if you are a fan, plug your noise and jump in without fear. The presentation is probably as good as it can realistically get and the loops themselves are typically intriguing and reasonably steaming. It's always a treat to see Cousteau show up and her contribution is the highlight here but if you dig seventies cats and kittens getting down on tacky couches, there's absolutely no reason you shouldn't add this to your collection post haste!
