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Released by: Impulse Pictures
Released on: July 8th, 2014.
Director: Various
Cast: Annie Sprinkle, Susan Nero, Bobby Astyr, Jamie Gillis, John Holmes
Year: 1970's - 1980's
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The Movie:
Once again, those perverts over at Impulse Pictures present a collection of 8mm hardcore loops, preserved digitally for posterity's sake and now available on DVD for your own personal enjoyment. Here's what to expect…
KAREN: A bottomless blonde fox sporting an Andy Warhol's BAD t-shirt reads a book with her man pal about the art of sensual massage. This puts them in the mood and she goes down. He's got a red plaid shirt and looks like a lumberjack sort of. I guess this lady's name is Karen but it's silent so we'll never know for sure. She goes solo for a bit and he returns the favor and then they boff from a few different angels, her stylish shirt tossed aside like yesterday's newspaper. They found some fancy red silk sheets to do it on, which is a nice touch.
DON'T SPLASH: A mustachioed guy loves up some lucky lady laying on a bed. He gets her duds off and lets his fingers do the walking. He heads south, chowing down as he sees fit, and then she follows suits. His sideburns need work. They're not very well kept. From there they get down to business and go at it for a good long while until everyone is happy. There's a remarkable amount of hair in this one. Naturalism is great and all, but this is a bit much. Regardless ,they look like they're having fun.
LAST TANGO IN PARIS: Mr. John Curtis Holmes is behind a bar serving delicious drinks to a curvy dark haired lady poolside. They head indoors where they find a bed with a wall behind it that looks like it's covered in tinfoil. He drops trou and she oogles his legendary dong before tackling it like a champ. Her hair is very curly, his is slicked back with a whole lot of grease and looks weird. He slips it in, then out, then in again - you know how it goes - and then he rubs what looks like butter on her bunghole. After that… ouch. Easy there John, you'll hurt someone with that thing if you're not careful.
GRATEFUL BOOBS: A lovely dark haired Susan Nero is in a nice dress when leans over her car with the hood up. Engine trouble? Maybe. We'll never know because when a dude approaches to help they go inside and she blows him. What's going on with the car though? Either way, this lucky and unusually skinny dude gets a pretty nice reward for just showing up and not really doing anything mechanical at all. She does all the work, gobbling away and then bouncing up and down. All he really has to do is lay there and get his rocks off. Her boobs are pretty big too, and towards the end of the loop they really do seem grateful.
UNCLE HARRY: A curvy cutie all dolled up to look like a schoolgirl receives a male visitor sporting glasses, a beard and a leather biker vest. He hands her a gift, she unwraps it and it's a pair of rollerskates. Nice. She puts them on and zips around the carpeted floor poorly and when she falls, her ass winds up in the air. He takes this as an invitation and bones her from behind, no foreplay or nothing, just boom, right up the keister. She's into though and after that it's a bit more consensual. Later she fumbles with a condom and he makes weird faces at the camera. Once he's done, it's time to do shots - but maybe not the kind you think. That's kind of icky.
UNTITLED: A foxy Asian lady is boning a guy in a bedroom when this loop starts. A blonde chick comes into the room to help out and the guy winds up with more fun than he probably first expected. They all go at it and everyone gets it on with everyone else. That Asian gal has pretty big earrings.
ANAL MENAGE A TROIS: In what we can only assume is just another day in the life of Jamie Gillis, the late actor is on his back getting gobbled by a redhead when this loop starts. He barks some sort of command at her and while it's silent, we can only assume that it's 'suck it you lesbian!' because right after that, another gal walks in. She's got a pink leotard on but that comes off quickly and before you know it, she's giving it to both of them. Gillis goes to town and does his thing, the ladies switching it up here and there and having a good time by the looks of things. The walls in this room are completely covered in blue shag carpeting, which is kind of awesome.
ARMY BITCHES: Two bitches, possibly from the army, accompany a guy to a living room where there's a couch with some sort of Aztec print on it. The blonde goes down on him while the other gets naked in the bathtub and masturbates while covering herself in shaving cream. Did she actually shave her torso? It cuts away before we can find out. Anyway, she heads to the couch and they have a pretty rowdy three way. Hopefully someone steamcleaned that couch when this was all over with because it looks like things got pretty messy. It'd be a shame to get rid of such a stylish piece of furniture.
PLAYGIRLS: A bearded guy and an unbearded guy are sitting on a bed looking at Playboy centerfolds while a black chick and a white chick get out of their leotards (lots of leotards on this DVD for some reason). From there, beardy bones whitey and non-beardy bones the black chick. The white chick turns out to be Annie Sprinkle, which is great, because she's awesome and really good at stuff like this. The bearded guy kinda looks like he just walked off the set of An American Hippie In Israel. The two couples go at it and then sort of meld into one foursome before it all finishes.
AC/DC MOB: A blonde and a brunette are on a red couch wearing lingerie and high heels and looking at porno magazines. A few seconds in and they're turned on enough to make out while Bobby Astyr sits in a chair and watches, at least to start. You know he's going to get in on this and he does just that. They have a pretty enthusiastic three way where he winds up doing most of the work. That's okay though, he seems to be having fun. I always thought Bobby Astyr kind of looked like a flea for some reason. He's kind of twitchy and bouncy, like a human flea would be if there were such a thing.
LOVE MACHINES: An olive skinned lady with big hair gets her boobs out for a white girl with long hair. They go at it on some red sheets in a room with some lovely wood paneling. This is a pretty standard girl on girl scene… until the long haired lassies busts out a strap-on. Yoink! She takes charges and gives it what for from a few different angles after which she kisses her best friends boo boo to make it all better.
HER FIRST EXPERIENCE: A blonde pours a glass of wine for a brunette who looks a little bit like Gilda Radner except hotter. They enjoy their adult beverages on a red coach and then start to French kiss. This is fun to watch for a bit and then they take it to the next level as the clothes come off and the fun bits get nibbled and fondled. The blonde has a mark on her ass that is either a really horrible tattoo or a big ol' bruise. Hard to say, really. Maybe it's a birthmark, or maybe it's a track mark. Either way, eventually they move off of the couch to a nearby coffee table and after that it sort of just ends.
LADY IN MY ASS: A blonde with long hair lays back on a blue leather couch with her legs spread so that a blonde with shorter hair can go to town. A bald guy in a suit who is just sort of hanging out in the corner hands the one going down a black dong to use and so she does. She's got a band aid on her thumb but we'll never know why it's there - let's assume she nicked it cutting lettuce for a salad when making dinner the night before. At any rate, after the inaugural dong session the recipient gets down on all fours so the other gal can go at it from behind, at which point, yes, she does at least partially have a lady (and possibly part of a band aid) in her ass. I wonder who that bald guy was? Was he paying these ladies to perform? Was he the one that the other girl was making dinner for when she cut herself making salad? So many mysteries of porn have been lost to the ages, it's a God damn shame, really. Both ladies have nicely manicured finger nails, so bonus points for that.
LESBIAN AFFAIR: One lady in black with her hair down sits on an E-Z Boy recliner while another lady in red with her hair up rubs her goodies for her. Things heat up and manual stimulation turns to oral stimulation and through the magic of 8mm film we witness a… get ready for it… lesbian affair. There's some toe sucking and some masturbation and some out of focus shots and some in focus shots. The walls are decorated with nude portraits and oh snap, the found one of those old school vibrators.
THE BARBARIAN GIRLS: Last but not least, we get the roughest loop in this collection, which according to the title card is presented by Chris Lee. We know what you've been up to, Dracula, and your mother would not approve. It all begins when a girl in a bad red haired wig helps drag a blonde with blood coming out of her mouth to some sort of shitty looking garage. They're wearing matching red dresses and go-go boots. Red hair slaps blondie back to consciousness and then take her clothes off and hog ties her. She roughs her up and has her way with her. After that she takes her own clothes off and hoists blondie up with those ropes, flash bulbs going off in the background because stills from this shoot probably wound up in some lousy fetish magazine. At any rate, the captor whips the captive with a cat o' nine tails but the captive is obviously not bound very well because she keeps turning around. She also doesn't seem in the least but upset about the lash marks appearing all over her body, because, well, they're fake. Dip those lashes in red goop BEFORE whipping your victim and voila, it looks like the whip broke the skin. From there, blondies gets probed with… what is that… oh snap, it's a knife. Probably not a very sharp one but still, the fake blood resonates a bit more this time around. It actually gets really gory from here on out. This one is pretty fucked up.
THE END!
Video/Audio/Extras:
Each of the 8mm loops on this disc are presented in their original 1.33.1 fullframe aspect ratio and transferred from film. They haven't been fully restored so expect a fair bit of print damage and plenty of visible scratches but that doesn't really detract from the experience much. Colors are faded and black levels all over the place but if the elements are in rough shape, at least the disc is well authored and not plagued by compression artifacts or edge enhancement problems.
The audio is on par with the video, sort of. This stuff was shot without sound, so really we just the 'click' of a projector in terms of audio, there's really not much to write about here.
Extras? Nope. You get a menu and loop selection but that's it. Inside the case, however, you will discover a booklet of liner notes from Cinema Sewer's Robin Bougie that elaborate on the 8mm experience and discuss his experiences discovering his old man's stash of smut and how something like this can 'pass the torch' so to speak..
The Final Word:
42nd Street Forever: The Peepshow Collection Volume 3 won't convince those not already interested in material like this and at the same time will instantly appeal to those who do. There's some interesting stuff in here and it's nifty seeing some familiar faces pop up in these rough and tumble productions. On top of that, the last loop on this disc is remarkably nutty.
