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    Ian Jane
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  • Nympho Cycler



    Released by: Alpha Blue Archives
    Released on: September, 2014.
    Director: Edward D. Wood Jr.
    Cast: Casey Larrain, Edward D. Wood Jr.
    Year: 1971
    Purchase From Amazon

    The Movie:

    Nympho Cycler, made in 1971, was apparently written and directed by the late, great Edward D. Wood Jr. and not only did he seemingly take charge behind the camera but he plays the male lead in this fifty-two minute feature as well (he's either using the alias TV Edwards or Stud Stetson - those are the two males listed in the opening credits). As the movie begins, we hear a woman sing 'They call me Misty, all those who kiss me' as we meet a young lady named, yes, Misty (Casey Larrain credited here as Lorraine Casey). Other ladies listed in the opening credits include Sherry Duz, Lotti Moore, the wonderful Betty Boobs and the mysterious Mary Wood! Getting back to Misty, however, she's a biker chick who is cruising up the coast in her black bikini enjoying the day, the camera haphazardly attached to the hog to give us a few wobbly POV shots.

    Misty's narration tells us she's a nymphomaniac who gets especially horny riding her bike. She arrives at a shack in the Hollywood hills owned by her man, Francis Edwards (Wood). She strips out of her bikini and into her birthday suit and Francis shows up, it's Wood in drag, he makes fun of her for straddling that bike and riding up and down hills all day. This scene is amazing - he tells her he's going to join her in the hot tub because 'AFTER ALL, I AM YOUR HUSBAND!' at which point he pulls off his wig, takes off his dress and undergarments and flits and flirts and goofs around. He hops in with her, refusing to take off his shorts, and then complains about the water being too hot. We learn that Francis is a famous photographer and she married him hoping it would lead to a showbiz career, but nope. He just pimps her out to his friends. From there we see lovely, curvy Misty get it on with a guy who looks a little bit like Buck Owens in a plain blue room. They hope into bed and do a softcore bump and grind to the sound of some surfy sounding guitar playing something that sounds an awful lot like Donovan's Sunshine Superman!

    Once that's done, we see Francis use Misty in a photo shoot. She poses for his camera and he bitches at her for not holding still - she says 'Sorry, Ed' (not Francis!) but he keeps bitching. The phone rings and a Mr. Watkins wants Misty to attend a dinner party the next day. Misty, however, isn't having it. She puts on her sundress and hops on her bike and Santana plays in the soundtrack. Her bike conks out on her and it looks like she's stranded until a pair of horny lesbians find her at the side of the road and give her a lift. Misty gets in and shows them her breasts, which leads to a lot of completely inane dialogue, a quick stop at a gas station to fill up a can for her bike and then some girl on girl sex in the car. They head inside a house, smoke some weed and then have a three way. After that they drop her back at her bike, she fills up the tank and is off to her next adventure. Misty changes her clothes and 'goes on the prowl' because she needs a man. She zips around on her bike and winds up meeting a biker in a knit hat. They head off road into the country and have sex on a blanket in a field. More Santana on the soundtrack.

    After that, we see a gang of vicious bikers NOT wearing knit hats (one of them has a poncho on though) at a big party. One of the girls, possibly drunk on some sort of hooch, does a topless dance around the fire with some of the other ladies. Everyone has sex and a girl with a cute chubby bum gets her cheeks squeezed a lot (this is shown often). Misty and the guy with the knit hat, though? They're wandering around town checking out Chinese food restaurants and looking at hippie clothes. Turns out a bald guy with big ears is trailing them and then he and some other bikers beat the shit out of the guy with the knit hat. It turns out these bastards have been sent by Francis and they intend to rape her as punishment for bailing on him. One of the guys, he nibbled around and seemed to be taking forever - Misty's narration tells us this, and that he 'must have been some kinda fruit or something.' Will Misty make it out alive? Yep. She'll find the guy in the knit hat too, and then they hop a train to San Diego. Will she ever see him again? Does he have a wife in Norway? Sadly we'll never know, Wood never made a sequel. Cue the theme song from the opening credits and call this one done.

    Every bit as terrible as it sounds, this softcore quickie was obviously made fast and cheap but it scores bonus points for featuring the very pretty Casey Larrain (who exploitation aficionados will probably recognize from The Jekyll & Hyde Portfolio, The Joys Of Jezebell, The Toy Box and others) frequently nude and looking good. The hokey opening theme song is noteworthy and goofy and wow, that scene with Wood in drag getting into the hot tub? That's something else, worth the price of admission right there. This isn't as quirky and flat out bizarre as something like Necromania nor is it really effectively sexy in any way outside of Larrain's natural charms, but for Wood fans, yeah, this is a fascinating little turd of a film.

    Video/Audio/Extras:

    Nympho Cycler debuts on DVD in 1.33.1 fullframe and that would appear to be the proper aspect ratio based on the compositions and framing of the picture. The print is perfectly watchable but far from pristinely restored. Expect a decent amount of print damage, some scratches, some emulsion damage and plenty of flicker. The colors are a bit faded and as such contrast is a bit all over the place but the picture is, at the very least, taken from a print and stable enough. Any focus issues are the fault of whoever was behind the camera, not the transfer. So yeah, don't expect perfection here, it's just not realistic given the film's obscurity and age and… who knows where this print came from, but it's perfectly watchable.

    The Dolby Digital Mono soundtrack is presented in English as it was recorded, there are no closed captioning or subtitle options available. The levels are well balanced but there's a fair bit of hiss and some occasional pops in the mix, particularly during the biker orgy party scene. Some of the dialogue is a little bit muffled in spots. Audio quality is about on par with the video, it's far from perfect but it works.

    ABA has also included 'The Lost Films Of Casey Larrain' - a selection of four films starring Nympho Cycler's leading lady starting with Caught In The Can, a sixty five minute picture from 1970 courtesy of Jo-Jo Productions. According to the credits this one was directed, photographed, written and edited by Charleton Roberts and if the IMDB is to be trusted, that's an alias for Joseph F. Robertson, a prolific skin flick director who commonly worked under the name Adele Robbins. The story introduces us to two dudes who are hard up for money. They live in a fancy pad with plenty of ornate artwork on the wall but they can't even afford cigarettes. Neither one of them wants to go back to work so they come up with a plan to dress up as chicks and con horny sailors coming off of the boats into getting alone with them… and then robbing them. So they shower and they shave and they put on some wigs and they get into drag and off they go. This doesn't work very well because before you know it the cops have busted them and tossed them in the slammer. Evidently their outfits were pretty convincing though, because the cops toss them into the woman's jail where they decide to stay in drag even though the wigs are making their heads itchy! They chat it up with some of the other ladies, Larrain is one of them, and then eventually one of the guys screws a female prisoner. Meanwhile, out in the office, a detective goes down on a sexy lady cop (Linda Vroom from Madam Satan!) and then they do they deed. Then the other guy in the cell screws Larrain. Once everyone is done screwing, the sexy lady cop takes one of the prisoners out and has lesbian sex with her. Back in the cell our heroes in drag double team a chick to the soothing sounds of an overzealous saxophone player. But when the horny lady cop brings in one of our drag queens as her next conquest, what will happen when she undresses him?

    For some reason in the office where the lady cop molests everyone there's a cover from True West Magazine taped to the wall. This one is pretty awful but not without its own stupid charm. There's some humor in the situations no matter how implausible they are and while the two dudes are as goofy as they come, the female cast members are attractive enough and even enthusiastic when the story calls for it. Not much in the way of production values here and the soundtrack sounds like it was taken from an episode of the Lawrence Welk show but this is a fun time killer.

    Scent Of Love is a fifty-two minute film, a Janus II Production produced by Richard Z. Evans and directed by one Hardi Burton (who the IMDB credits with directed Daughter Of Satan). As the movie begins, two wonky looking dudes are in a lab. One is a scientist and he explains to the other that if his formula works, they'll never have to worry about anything ever again. Turns out he's developed a serum that will make any female they come into contact with powerless to resist them! They figure this is a sure fire way to fame and fortune but it needs to stay secret until they're ready because if it fell into the wrong hands it could result in 'a population explosion… white slavery… it would be horrible!' First, however, it needs to be tested. To do this, they peep through a hole they've cut through the wall that looks into the ladies room. There a cute little brunette undresses and gives herself some self love courtesy of a toilet brush! The guy who is not a scientist then heads to an apartment inhabited by a lovely lady with a nice record collection and a W.C. Fields poster. He asks her to look for an album while he uses the bathroom. He tries to leave but she asks him to stay, she can't resist him. Is the formula working? It sure looks like it, because they screw on her couch. From here they both try it out and wind up having an orgy with the girl who owns the pad and two saucy lady friends (one of whom is Larrain) that are looking for love. The guys finish up and split while Larrain and the girl who lives in the apartment get it on. There's a human skull beside the bed for some reason. Our scientist hero gets back into the mood and winds up fooling around with all three ladies… sort of. The token blonde spends most of her time sitting in a chair with her fingers in the fuzz but finally gets around to joining in as the movie comes to a close. Not much to talk about here other than that, but hey, that chick's apartment is pretty cool.

    The Hedonist runs fifty-six minutes and was made in 1970, a CIM Production with no opening credits outside of the company name and a title card. A narrator tells us that hypnotism, while accepted as a 'great tool of medicine' still has sinister connotations. As the narrator rambles on, we see a guy in a wood paneled room talking to a blonde. What are they talking about? We don't know yet but he has a giant lamp and a really big book on his desk so it must be important. It turns out that this guy is a con hypnotist and that he runs an office in which he not only chain smokes but takes advantage of pretty young ladies. The blonde has come to see the man, named Paul Hunter, for help losing weight so she can enter a beauty contest. She's already pretty damn thin but winning this contest is her dream. He puts her under hypnosis and has her do a strip tease. Then he screws her (though he keeps his tighty-whities on). From there, two other ladies come into his office. He hypnotizes them and they have lesbian sex on his couch - there's a blonde and a brunette, the brunette is Larrain. From there, another blonde, with shorter hair who is 'progressing in her pregnancy,' is convinced that massaging her breasts will help. Of course, while she's under hypnosis and playing with her breasts, he gets her nude and screws around with her after she masturbates. After that we meet a different hypnotist who attends a house party and hypnotizes three ladies and a guy with a goatee. He gets them under his spell and one girl does nude handstands. The ladies fool around and the guy gets it on while the hypnotist stands on the sidelines until it's time for him to join in. Orgy time. They finish and he tries to wake the ladies up but they won't… the end. What? That's it? Hypnotists are assholes.

    The last Larrain bonus is a clip taken from Love Making USA that features Casey cavorting around with none other than Ed Wood himself! This runs less than a minute in length. Wood guides her to a couch and gets behind a camera and takes some pictures of her. It would have been cool to get the entire feature included here even if Larrain and Wood have minimal involvement, but that didn't happen. Something Weird offers it on DVD-R though. Outside of that we get a 'Retro Starlets Trailer' advertising other ABA releases and a static menu screen.

    The Final Word:

    Nympho Cycler is a trip. Sure, the plot is terrible and the acting is awful but it features Wood in a decent sized supporting role and at his drag-zaniest! Casey Larrain doesn't have a whole lot going on as an actress but she's as cute as a button and the bonus material included on this disc should definitely appeal to her fans. Lots of goofy, stupid softcore fun to be had here!




































































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