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Weird Love #2

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    Nolando
    Senior Member

  • Weird Love #2



    Published by: IDW Publishing
    Released on: July 2, 2014


    Love is a weird enough thing as it is but these collections of various romance comics from the 1950's are sure to make it even more awkward. So, with all proper introductions approved by Miss Manners herself, let's recap the tales included in the latest release from IDW Publishing:

    Yes, I Was an Escort Girl - Originally appearing in True Life Secrets #12, March 1953, it's the nearly-tragic tale of Vivian, a pretty young woman who finds her employment options limited. Thinking she can just do this job for a short time until she finds something better she joins an escort service. Creepy owner Mike has his own designs on her but she keeps getting clients that are all grabby and squeezy at the end of the night. Vivian is sad at her situation but things turn around once she meets Jerry, a rich young man stopping over in town on his way to Europe.


    He turns out to be too good to be true and Vivian wishes he knew that this job isn't who she really is. Jerry shows up one day to whisk her away to a lakeside picnic where he proposes! But her situation makes Vivian hesitate. And to make matters worse, creepy Mike wants to take her away as well since, as he tells her, she “ain't up on his level” anyway. Clearly, Vivian has some thinking to do so she goes for a walk, ignoring the quite literal gathering storm clouds that soon leave her soaking wet - and right by Jerry's apartment. He's surprised by her visit at his door but welcomes her in, even offering her a privacy screen so she can get out of her wet clothes. But then creepy Mike busts in and makes up a story, accusing Vivian of being a con artist only interested in Jerry's money. Jerry is upset and boots them both out.

    Vivian is, naturally, devastated and returns home. But she's interrupted by someone at her door late. It's creepy Mike, intent on taking her away with him, out of the country. She fights back but then, suddenly, Olga bursts through the door, gun in hand! Apparently, she started creepy Mike in this business, originally blackmailing their customers. But she's got no intent of letting him go off with some other woman. He tells her she doesn't have the guts to shoot him then rushes her and kills Olga in the process. And just as suddenly there are cops filling Vivian's room, telling creepy Mike that this is a sting operation, that her room was bugged and everything's been recorded. And, to Vivian's biggest surprise, Jerry is an undercover detective, having worked the case for months. They've got creepy Mike dead to rights, so he grabs Vivian as his hostage! And he threatens to kill Jerry. That's it for Vivian who smacks him to the ground and the police haul him off.


    She tearfully tells Jerry that she just couldn't let that happen, no matter what he thinks of her. But now that he's received her full story from other men, Jerry says that his proposal still stands and he can make an honest woman out of her. Weird love is also pretty simple, too, apparently.

    Too Fat For Love - From Darling Love #7, 1950-1, a story from the perspective of Mona, trying to get readers to understand what young love is like (or not like) for fat girls. Despite the protestations to the contrary by Tony, the sincere boy next door, Mona hates her fat self and when the doctor tells her it's probably glandular she loses all hope. That is, until handsome young Gene Gibbs - an up-and-comer in her father's candy factory - shows up to dinner, intent on making his move on Mona, having fallen in love with just her picture in her dad's office at work. Mona is big on denial, though, and doesn't believe him at first (just like she doesn't believe anyone else telling her she's beautiful, that she'll find love, etc.). But Gibbs seems sincere and is quite insistent so she allows herself to be romanced - at last!


    Because it's the 1950s they are engaged almost on the spot and, while quick even by Ike's standards, Mona nevertheless gives herself to it completely. Her parents are surprised but pleased, other schoolmates are confused and Mona's deliriously happy. Until one day, when she swings by her father's factory and sneaks upon her father and Gibbs discussing Mona. Apparently, they have an arrangement wherein Gibbs receives half of the company if he marries the boss' daughter! Oh, shame! Oh, the indignity! Mona runs away from them, back home and locking herself in her room “forever.” Despite her dad trying to tell her he was just trying to make her happy and boy-next-door Tony wanting to talk to her and comfort her, she retreats from everyone and everything, staying in her room, refusing to eat for weeks.

    Dad finally breaks into her room, bringing her doctor with him. She's too weak to fight back at all and the doc says she's suffering from malnutrition and shock. Then it's Tony's turn to come in and finally say his peace. He declares his life-long love for Mona but she's convinced this is another trick of her father's. But Tony presses on and, finally, Mona realizes that he truly is not like any of the others and honestly cares for her. They soon find themselves happily in each other's arms, her gaining strength from his, returning to health immediately and jumping out of bed - only to realize that all her fat had miraculously rolled away! Beautiful, in love and happy at last, it seems that weird love encompasses the supernatural as well!


    Goodbye To Illusion - by May Richstone, a short poem by a woman who's clearly through with love. Scandal!

    Slave To Despair - Found in Romantic Secrets #22, Sept. 1951. Here we finally see the influence drugs can have on a susceptible young woman who just wants to find love and acceptance. This is the story of Edith and her long-suffering beau Phil who start off happily enough, with Phil introducing her to his circle of friends and Edith determined to become a leader now, not a follower.

    At a dance one night, she's soon seduced by slimy lethario Ritchie who dances her off her feet and then takes their whole party to “some place that really cooks!” Phil hesitantly agrees and soon they find themselves in a smoke-filled, dank dive bar with cranked-up hot jazz blaring at them. They continue to dances themselves into a frenzy but Phil's having none of it, knowing what's best for Edith, trying to get her out of there. But a quick right jab from Ritchie and a new-found sense of independence from Edith send him packing. The rest of the group of gals hangs with her, though, and she's finally found herself in a leadership role.


    But one night soon thereafter she comes home late and finds Phil waiting for her. He just wants to talk to her, to find out what's happened to her. Edith is defiant, though, enjoying her independence and lack of Phil's control over her. He storms off and she convinces herself she's happy to be rid of him. Soon, then, out with Ritchie yet again, she wonders why the people in this bar are so manic with energy but aren't drunk? Ritchie confides that the secret is narcotics, drugs that give you a great feeling and lots of energy! He offers a pill to Edith who, not wanting to jeopardize her leader status in front of the other girls, ingests it and is suddenly unsure of anything. The other girls split at this point, knowing that's just not for them, while Edith trips balls.

    Manic and tense all the time, Edith begins to realize that she just wants more narcotics. She forgets everything else - school, her appearance, clothing, everything! And then Ritchie stops calling on her. She finally tracks him down and he gruffly dismisses her, telling her the free ride is over and, now that she's hooked on narcotics, she'll have to pay for them herself. Edith knows she could never afford it but, in the clutches of the narcotics, will do anything to keep up her habit. She goes back to Phil and the grocery store he runs, faking an apology and gaining access to the cash register. She skims from the till for about a week before Phil catches her. She spills about her addiction to the narcotics and he immediately takes her to the hospital for treatment.

    Edith protests this move and every day in her “prison.” Phil keeps visiting, hoping to find her recovered, but she's chasing that dragon and the depths of her despair are too great. Soon enough, though, she's broken through and her cravings disappear. She sobs openly when she sees in the mirror what the narcotics have done to her, chastising herself for being so stupid and immature. She's released and, with much trepidation, returns to school, expecting to find accusations and cold shoulders. But her friends all welcome her back, knowing this recent phase just wasn't who she really was. And Phil shows up after school, too, to give her a ride home just like before, and their love is now normal - no longer weird thanks to the narcotics.

    Sweethearts' Picture Biography of Ronald Reagan - Published in Sweethearts #111, May, 1952, a one-page description of the life and wonder that is that star of stage and screen, Ronald Reagan! Sports, acting, politics and radio - all are met with great success by this wonderful prospect of humanity and Fifties' male-ness!

    Bosco Plays Matchmaker! - Appeared in Confessions of the Lovelorne #111, Feb. 1960. Bosco is the entertaining attraction at the zoo - that's right, weird love can even come from the perspective of a playful bear! Bosco enjoys the month of May the most, he confesses, as that's the month of love. He delights in all the couples and families coming to the zoo. But he also notices the sadly single cases of Mary and Pete who both independently come and visit him, having “no one else to talk to.” They both have jobs they hate and dream at night of finding true love. And Pete's got no game as he tries to talk to Mary who brushes him off as some kind of flirt. But the two can't stop thinking about each other, even though they left off in a huff.

    At the most primal animalistic level, then, Bosco is attuned to the universe and the needs of humans so he decides to get these two together, however he can. So when Mary and Phil find themselves at his cage again, Bosco snags Mary's purse and pulls it inside. She's upset as all her money is apparently in that purse so she wriggles herself into his cage to retrieve it. Then Bosco pretends to threaten her, causing Phil to react by also jumping into the cage to rescue her. Bosco sells it well enough, forcing Phil to bop him on this nose at one point in order to drive this union forward for good. And he's successful, even getting a congratulatory handshake from Cupid in the last panel, witnessed by a well-to-do drunk who swears he's off that stuff now!

    Mini Must Go! - From Love and Romance #6, June 1972, featuring a complete asshole of a boss named Mr. Childers who can't concentrate on running his business due to the shortness of skirts around the place, especially on the curvy goodness that is his new secretary, Ms. Tait. He finally has his office manager, Jeff - who digs this new fashion - draft a memo to all the girls that mini skirts are now forbidden! No one else in the office likes this but are pleasant enough to his face. Jeff tells him that some guys are even out looking for work in other, less repressive offices. But Childers is having none of it, being convinced that now he'll at least be able to get some work done.

    When Ms. Tait appears another day, appropriately attired, she gets his negative attention again. He accuses her of wearing some exotic perfume just to distract him. She's had enough so she hauls in Jeff as a witness who says he only smells soap and water on her and that Childers is out of line. She also says maybe Childers should get himself another secretary if he can't keep his mind off of her. But, she also privately confesses, she can't stop thinking about him, either! Oh, weird love! When will you ever stop?!?

    He gets a new secretary but Ms. Tait shows up again, knowing he's been eye-fucking her from the start and she confidently makes her own move on him. He's finally honest and realizes what an utter dick he's been, the last one to realize that, Ms. Tait tells him (I like her - why doesn't she have her own comic series?)

    Beautiful One! - Showing up in Radiant Love #6, Aug. 1954, and it shows that not much has changed in sixty years. Lanu is an island girl who meets and falls in love with an American military man. He confesses his love her and desire to take her back to the States with him as his bride. But she's unsure and wants to know, for certain, that when he calls her his “beautiful one” he truly does mean it. They agree on waiting a year and, if Jon still feels the same then, he can come back for her and take her with him.

    He reluctantly agrees but does so and, as soon as he's back, starts writing to her often. However, the subject of his letters is all the women he's trying to bang (wtf?). There's Rita, the bombshell, then Mona the model, and then pretty Susan and then? Nothing. Lanu is saddened by this, figuring she was right all along and that he never meant what he said to her. Time passes sadly for her then but then Jon appears as it's been a whole year. She's confused and asks him what happened to all those other girls. Jon explains that Rita was just a maneater, looking to add him as another in her “rogue's gallery;” Mona was an independent woman who didn't want to give up her freedom; and Susan was apparently just after his money. Jon reiterates his love for Lanu, telling her those others were ugly compared to her as “they didn't know of love!” That's all it finally takes for Lanu to understand and believe him and join in their love, feeling truly beautiful and asking the reader if they can see it in her face? Which, in the final panel, is revealed to be a butt-ugly, bad-tranny-looking broad. So, um...weird love.

    Published and brought to light again for thoroughly tongue-in-cheek purposes, this latest edition keeps the laughs/guffaws/eye-rolls coming, making its entertainment value exceptionally high and well worth picking up.
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