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Eerie Archives Volume 17

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  •  
    Todd Jordan
    Smut is good.

  • Eerie Archives Volume 17



    Published by: Dark Horse Comics
    Released on: Oct. 1, 2014
    Writers: various
    Artists: various
    Cover: Paul Gulacy
    Purchase at Amazon

    Continuing to expose new readers to the world of silver-age black-and-white horror magazines, Dark Horse puts forth the seventeenth volume of Eerie Archives, collecting issues 81 though 85, featuring full color covers and even some stories in color. This volume marks the introduction of The Rook, who later got his own title, and with news of a television show in the works it is hopeful a collected volume will be released. Maybe even a new series? At any rate, get the origin and his earliest stories right here. Oh, and Kitchen Sink Comics' founder Denis Kitchen starts the book off with an introduction. And now, what follows is a breakdown of each issue within this volume, with stories featured that were the most enjoyable.

    Issue #81 cover by Frank Frazetta; all stories in this issue feature a woman climbing up the Empire State Building, usually holding a small ape of some sort. It's a mix with giant women and normal sized women and scale models, and they are mostly sans clothes. The entire issue is awesome as you can imagine.

    “Goodbye, Bambi Boone”; story by Cary Bates, art by Carmine Infantino and Dick Giordano.

    “Taking of Queen Bovine”' script by Gerry Boudreau, art by Ramon Torrents. A dying race of small ape humanoids plans to take over the Earth for their health and survival, but Queen Bovine wants to avert such a slaughter. The apes have no chance against the United States of Earth. Queen Bovine is named so due to the size of her udders, but she never lets them loose. Of well, still the usual great stuff from Ramon Torrents.

    “The Bride of Cong: The Untold Story!”, story by Bill DuBay, art by Carmine Infantino and Gonzalo Mayo. Kind of a sequel to the classic King Kong movie, Cong doesn't die from the fall and some nutbag doctor smuggles him to a lab to get him back together. The Fay Wray character is named Amy LaBido and she is so in love with the ape she believes to be dead that it bungs up her wedding night. When she finds out Cong is alive but needs blood, she just so happens to have the same blood type and volunteers for a transfusion. The results are giant, boobies are exposed, and some implied bestiality makes for a weird little tale. Mayo's inks over Infantino's art makes the visual side much more pleasing than if someone of lesser talent inked it.

    “You're a Big Girl Now”, by Bruce Jones and Richard Corben. This color tale is far and away this biased reader's favorite one in this bunch. Jones and Corben collaborations always result in top-shelf material and that includes this one. Explorers to a dead planet find a tape recorder and a tape left by a news reporter in the 20th century who covered the life of a three-story high young woman. It ends with her climbing a tall building and wrecking the city, as she fails to stop growing even after puberty, and loses her mind. Russ Meyer would have (may have) loved Corben's naked women, as the legendary artist showcases his talent in that arena with his outstanding work.

    “Starchild”, by Louise Jones and David Micheline, with art by Jose Ortiz.

    “The Giant Ape Suit”; script Roger McKenzie, artwork by Luis Bermejo. King Kong wasn't an ape; King Kong was a man in a robotic ape suit, according to this story. Swept under the rug by the authorities and an act of God, rather than a man-made disaster, no one knows about this suit created by a building superintendent. Some crooks find his plans and the unfinished robot of a woman for the giant ape, and one thug's greed gets the robot to go on the rampage. What of the missing superintendent? Isn't he off in a mental hospital somewhere? Maybe. This was an especially enjoyable story and Bermejo's detailed artwork elevates the satisfaction that much more.

    “The Golden Girl” by Nicola Cuti, and art by Leopold Sanchez.

    Issue #82 cover by Luis Bermejo and Bill DuBay. The origin and first appearance of the character The Rook is housed in this issue and as a 2-part story.

    “The Rook: The Man Who Time Forgot”, story by Bill DuBay, art by Luis Bermejo. This full-length comic story introduces the character and gives the origin of Warren's character The Rook, a time-traveling gun-slinger from 1977. Restin Dane is a brilliant scientist; a technopysicist obsessed with building a time machine, called “The Castle” for its shape as a rook piece in chess. Dane's other obsession is to go back to the Alamo to save his great-great-grandfather from dying in the battle. The Rook brings back an old man from 1874 to his robot-filled residence and then takes off again, leaving his robot servant Manners to work with the others to heal the geezer.

    After a couple of weeks, the Castle still hasn't returned, and the old man wakes up, full of piss and vinegar as he's an infamous gunfighter from his time. Manners fills him in on what's going on, which includes The Rook's first trip in his time machine and his experience at the battle of The Alamo in 1836. Part Two ends with a nice little twist in this well written and engaging story. And Bermejo's fantastic work makes the story all the better. Great stuff.

    “The Game Is Afoot”; words by Gerry Boudreau, art by Carmine Infantino and Gonzalo Mayo. Infantino's art is per usual, made better by his inker. And if Gonzalo Mayo inked a drawing I made, it would look amazing too. The man is beyond praise. But his contribution doesn't save this fantasy tale from the lower levels of Eerie stories. Vampires versus technological wizards in the future battling in a competition to the death. Ain't no good.

    “Scallywag: Castle of the Assassin” by Budd Lewis and Jose Ortiz. An Irish pirate named Sully has a valuable item stolen from him by a ninja. The ninja also killed his women, and with the help of his Asian friend Sully hunts him down. A fight ensues and ends in a small twist. It's a mediocre tale by two talents that usually put out better material.

    “The Pea Green Boat: In a Deep Sea Tomb” by Budd Lewis and Leopold Sanchez.

    Issue #83 cover by Enrich.

    “The Rook: The Day Before Tomorrow”, written by Budd Lewis, artwork by Luis Bermejo. This issue's episode is again a full-length comic story at 20 pages long, and the events occur at the same time as last issue's but from the perspective of one Gat Hawkins, the lone deserter of The Alamo. After being injured, he witnessed The Rook coming and going in The Castle time machine, and he wants it for himself. Not reaching the machine in time, he touches his metal wristband to it and goes with it through time the very moment from last issue where The Rook saved the young boy from death at The Alamo, and when he gives the boy Col. Jim Bowie's knife. Now that Gat Hawkin knows he can travel with The Rook he continues to hitch a ride and goes to 1874 with him, when The Rook snatched the old man gunslinger, also last issue.

    Hawkin steals the position of town sheriff by putting a plug into the current coward holding that post. With some asshole gunslingers as his deputies, he commences to take over the town, and a use a prostitute named Kate to kill trap the old man. She falls for the old man and instead helps him. Hawkin knows who the old man is, and knows killing the old man would spell trouble the “The Rook Rider”. Kate has a friend who falls for The Rook, but in order to save the old man he has to leave them both behind. Before he does that he makes a discovery that will add to the mystery and the origin of this cool character.

    The writing chores are assigned to Budd Lewis rather than Bill DuBay from last issue. The reason for the change would be interesting to know, but the writing is certainly different and of lesser quality this second time around. Rook talks to himself way too much at and the worst times, over explaining his thoughts so Hawkin can over hear him, giving the hopeful thief valuable info about The Castler machine. It's a lot hokier than last issue's 2-parter, but Lewis Bermejo's art keeps the tale elevated and engaging.

    “Hard John's Nuclear Hit Parade: Kansas City Bomber”; story by Jim Stenstrum, art by Jose Ortiz. Mr. Ortiz teams up with Jim Stenstrum to bring a new character to the book, one Hard John Apple. He's a warrior from the worldwide religious war started by the “Catlicks” in 1986 and ended in 2020, and owns the entire state of Kansas. Why? He was to be offered the whole eastern seaboard, but only wanted Kansas for a reason only he knows. That's until he meets a Russian female fighter from The Red Threat Army, come to take over the U.S. with a few hundred soldiers. Since the Earth's population is a fraction of what it was in 1986, a few hundred is a decent sized group. At any rate, he decides to let her in on his secret. This is a three-part story, contained all in this volume, and that's a good thing. This first part should make the reader want more, and they'll get it.

    “Gaffer: Temptation”; story by Roger McKenzie, art by Leo Duranona. Gaffer, an old magician/vaudevillian, is at the end of his career and tricks a boy into 25 of his only 50 cents and gambles the money to get more, all with the little boy (and the narrator) at his side. The carnival worker at the gambling booth is really a certain horned beast who runs Hell; that's right…Satan. When the stakes are at their highest Gaffer bets more than he owns and tries to pull one over the old devil. It's a great little tale that cooks along quickly and delivers on the fun-factor.

    Presto the Besto”, written by Jim Stenstrum, illustrated by Carmine Infantino and Dick Giordano.

    Issue #84 cover by Frank Frazetta.

    “The Rook: Yesterday, the Final Day”, written by Bill DuBay, art by Luis Bermejo. In this third installment in the Rook serial tale, and the end of the first story arc, Restin Dane aka The Rook returns to the Arizona town where he scooped up the old man, Bishop Dane, and learned of Gat Hawkins and that man's intentions for killing Dane and the old man. He's back to kill Hawkin and bring the apparent love interests of his and Bishop's back to the 1970s. Losing a gunfight with Hawkin, Dane is left for dead and saved by the girls, who so happen to bring him to the hidden bunker built by other worldly beings Dane recently found. The robot and the technology in the bunker save Dane and he's ready to finish the mission. With the help of another device stored in the bunker, he and his great-great-grandfather Bishop Dane they do battle with Hawkins and his small army of deputies. Bermejo's art is as great as always, and he draws a wicked 2-page bar brawl. And Bill DuBay is back on the script, which is a good thing. Consistency makes great comics.

    “Hard John's Nuclear Hit Parade: Brass Monkey”, story by Jim Stenstrum, art by Jose Ortiz. Part two in Stenstrum's and Ortiz's three-parter puts the nutjob Hard John Apple and his captive/would-be captor Tarara in a position where they need to work with each other and John's pet orangutan. Hemlock Zinger, the all-for-himself high ranking officer who told John about the missile silos from last issue, comes back to take what he believes is his: the missile silos. John won't have that, as he has plans for those missiles, and General the orangutan helps John and his new ally in a way John can never repay.

    “Godeye” written by Budd Lewis, art by Carmine Infantino and Dan Green. For some reason, most of this story is what Dark Horse chose to show in preview on its website for this 17th volume of reprints. That is why there are no sample pages, as using Infantino's art is not how this reader would choose to try to sell copies. There is so much more in the collection to showcase in a preview, but they seem to have taken a lazy way out.

    “He Who Waits in Shadow!” by Jim Starlin. This is a Darklon tale where he doesn't show up until the end. Starlin's art is glorious, but the story is dull.

    And in the back of this issue are the results of the 1976 Warren Awards, with little write-ups on Richard Corben, Bill DuBay, Ken Kelly, Bruce Jones, Leopold Sanchez, and Jose Gonzalez.

    Issue #85 cover by Ken Kelly.

    “The Rook: Lost to the Land of Nowhen” by Bill DuBay and Luis Bermejo. Old gunslinger Bishop Dane decides to teach Manners the robot lessons in being a gunslinger by shooting him at random moments, while The Rook goes back to the 1800s to keep snooping around his discovery of the centuries old bunker built by aliens. An accident in the bunker messes up The Rook and the bunker, and the time fragment he is using for this trip has run out. Bishop and Manners get in a spare Time Castle and go to his aide, but they might be too late. Bishop has an idea, which will apparently require the assistance of the two ladies back in 1977 that the two men have grown fond of. The story is a lot shorter than the previous installments and leaves with a cliffhanger, and this is the last issue in the archives, so now we have to wait months to see what's next. Where's the trade paperback? Waiting stinks.

    “Hard John's Nuclear Hit Parade: Gonna Nuke Mankind Right Outa My Hair”, by Jim Stenstrum and Jose Ortiz. The third part and conclusion of Hard John's story brings everything and everyone right to his field of silos, and each silo houses an armed nuclear missile. Tarara is on his side and all the religious parties are en route to destroy John and take his nukes. No party knows of any of the other parties converging on the exact same location, and that plays right into John's plans. Hemlock Zinger, the one who gave John info on the field, is ready to be ahead the warring parties to claim the treasure for his own and it looks like he may get what he wants. And there's a surprise guest who has a nice discussion with John and helps him with John's plans. This three-part story is excellent, with an original plot, and an interesting “what if?” concerning religious and political control.

    “Gaffer: First Wish”, by Roger McKenzie and Leo Duranona. Now that Gaffer beat the devil and has three wishes, he needs to consider what he uses them on very carefully. With his little pal Jamie in tow (who narrates the story as an adult), Gaffer makes his way down t he railroad tracks to wherever he feels they need to be. They end up at the gym of a big-time boxer from back in the day who is friends with Gaffer. His daughter is dying, he's blind, and he is waiting for Death to show up so he can kicks Death's ass and save his daughter. Other than the difficulty in reading the dialogue, as it is written with heavy accents, this is such a fun tale. Gaffer is a great character and the awe he inspires in Jamie is a bit endearing.

    “Blackstar & the Night Huntress”, by Gerry Boudreau and Esteban Maroto. Finally! An Esteban Maroto illustrated story; the only one in the whole volume. Blackstar is a mercenary space pilot who gets shot down and lands on an alien planet, one who is against the team he is on. A sexy hunter named Rowena helps him out and they escape from the army who would surely kill them both if they were caught. Alternate realities come into play and this reader lost all interest. Except for Maroto's artwork, which does save this one from the Eerie Compost Heap.

    “The Pea Green Boat: Dutchman” by Budd Lewis and Leopold Sanchez.

    This was a fantastic volume, made so mainly by The Rook, but Hard John and Gaffer are two serials that are 100 percent enjoyable. Also, lots of 70s references and great ads to peruse through, and a Bruce Jones/Richard Corben story just make the volume all the better. The next volume can't come quick enough, and hopefully there's a Rook tale in every issue in it. If you haven't tried out any of the archives, and you dig old western weirdness, this is a great one to grab.
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