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Released by: Alpha Blue Archives
Released on: December, 2014.
Director: N/A
Cast: Tina Smith, Rene Bond, Cyndee Summers, Ric Lutze, Rick Cassidy
Year: 1972
The Movie:
Alpha Blue digs up some more XXX oddities with this recent collection, focusing on the not inconsiderable assets of the lovely and talented Ms. Tina Smith. She's throwing a panty party, and you're invited. The first film, Panty Party (a.k.a. Bloomer Girl - the title that Something Weird released it under on one of their Dragon Art Theater double features - and as Panty Girls) is a 1972 film that doesn't feature any opening credits.
The first scene finds an underwear salesman named Ron (Ric Lutze) coaxing some ladies into helping him to make the big sale. After all, he tells them 'the clothes make the man and the panties make the chick.' Ron is a bit of an asshole, he tells the girls -Linda (Tina Smith) and Sue (Cyndee Summers) - that they don't work enough or talk enough and tells one to 'polish my shoes.' She doesn't, but Ron then proceeds to bang Sue on the shag carpeted floor while Tina hangs out in a wicker chair and watches. At one point a cat wanders into the room and gets unusually close to the action, which is weird and was likely just a strange coincidence.
From there we cut to a car where June (a post-boob job Rene Bond in a fuzzy white hat) is driving around with Bob (Franklin Anthony) and Charles (Rick Cassiday). They arrive at the house just as Ron and the girls finish up, Ron let's them in. June makes a beeline for the bathroom, after all it's been a long ride, where she finds Linda in the shower. She hopes in and they go at it for a bit, soaping one another up in some jugtastic action. In the living room, Ron tells the other guys it's time to get the show started, after which he interrupts the lesbian shower action to bring the ladies out to model various pieces of underwear for his two male guests. Some of the modeling takes place with a blue curtain behind the girls and doesn't actually look like it was shot in the house like the rest of the material was.
From here, all six characters break off into couples for a big ol' orgy on that aforementioned shag carpet - but then June attacks Sue for getting a bit too friendly with Charles! Glass gets smashed and nude actors sweep it all up, which is weird to watch. In the bedroom, June calms down and apologizes to Sue, making it up to her with some girl on girl action. This gets interrupted when Ron comes into the room and hops up on June for some of the old in/out. From there, the other two couples get it on and then the movie just kind of ends. We never do find out if Ron made the big sale or not, but it looks like he and his pals had fun trying.
This softcore bump and grind fest runs just under an hour in length and looks like it was shot fast and cheap. Outside of the casting there's nothing here to really make it stand out but it's amusing enough. Rene Bond and Cyndee Summers get noticeably more screen time than Tina Smith does in this picture, but hey, most aren't likely going to complain about that.
Video/Audio/Extras:
Panty Party arrives on DVD in its original 1.33.1 fullframe aspect ratio. It does look to have been sourced from a film print, and thankfully one that was in fairly good shape. Print damage is minimal, pretty minor actually, though grain is heavy and there are a few frame jumps here and there. Colors are a bit faded in some shots but not so much in others, so that could be a lighting or in camera quirk rather than a transfer issue. Black levels are ok but not always reference quality. This isn't a bad transfer at all for such an obscure title.
The only audio option for the feature attraction is an English language Dolby Digital Mono track. There's some hiss here and there and some jumps and spikes in the balance of the levels but for the most part the dialogue comes through okay.
The extras on the disc include some bonus films, starting with Tit For Tat, also known as A Rod For Revenge, made in 1972 and previously released by After Hours Cinema as part of their Grindhouse Hostage 2 collection reviewed here. Let's recycle the review Todd wrote for that piece!
While Hubby's at work, Stud (Ric Lutze) is railing Wifey (played by Tina Smith). “I hope he never comes home†she says…well guess what… Hubby (Rick Cassiday) is on the way home in his piece of shit car right now. He's chewing gum while you're chewing cock. Hubby catches the attractive Wifey and her boy toy right in the middle of a good rooting. Well, he lets them finish before bursting onto the scene. Stud drops his wallet during his escape and that's just what Hubby needs to track him down. Making his way to the address in the wallet, he doesn't find Stud but instead finds Stud's Coors-drinking red-headed rough looking wife. She invites him to wait for Stud to come home, and they share some space on the couch. Of course you know what happens next. She seems to be of the same swinging mind frame as her man Stud, and jealous Hubby is all too eager to oblige. Wifey shall regret her treachery.
But Hubby's not done. He decides the stud that plowed his old lady needs to pay for his cheating ways even more. He gets himself a gun and goes after the man's family and friends. Ok, really he just goes after one person (his niece was it?), who happens to be with her boyfriend and he forces them to lose their virginity together while he helps. Rape and humiliation is his agenda, but they never give the impression they're too upset about balling (she's got a big grin on her face the entire time, even when being menaced with a pistol). Meanwhile, Wifey is racked with remorse for cheating on her husband, and finds solace via some lesbo fun with a friend out on the balcony overlooking the city. Hubby catches them in the act, but instead of stopping them he joins in. A beagle tries to muscle his way into the love trio and make it a foursome, but is shooed away quickly. After Hubby screws them both, he teaches his cheatin' wife a lesson by shooting her dead. That's life, L.A. style. The transfer on this one is taken from a beat up print with lots of scratches but fairly good color. There's some weird Coors product placement here and some weird Budweiser shots too along with some nifty location footage showing off some old theater marquees, a grubby pool hall and some other seedy sites. Tina Smith fans will probably enjoy this one more than the feature attraction as she not only looks great here but she gets considerably more screen time in this feature too.
Up next is Casting Couch, made in 1975 according to the box copy. We get a quick title card with about ten seconds of The Rolling Stones' 'Satisfaction' playing overtop. Tina wanders into her kitchen in her underwear with some aviator shades on. She reads a newspaper and finds an ad looking for an actress. As she contemplates her new career - 'Wow, I'm going to be a star!' - she fondles herself. She heads to the fridge and grabs a hot dog, you can imagine what she does next, muttering to herself about 'getting my fabulous body back into the limelight' as she and the culinary treat get intimately acquainted.
Cut to the set of a movie where a guy who looks a bit like Robert Goulet is directing a hippy couple about to go at it on the floor. They go at it while some bongos pound away over some fuzz guitar on the soundtrack. Tina shows up at the place, the soundtrack switches to some weird southern rock/country stuff. The director invites her up to his room for more privacy, and he instantly likes what he sees. He rambles on to her about his work and then coaxes her into getting naked and then they screw. Not surprisingly, he gives her the part and then gets dressed to prepare for his next interview. The hippy couple show up and admire the director's paintings, more 'Satisfaction' on the soundtrack. The director calls them up and the girl goes up solo, a cute blonde thing. She struts for him and he convinces her to go down on him before they also screw. He has the good sense to leave his ascot on as they go at it. Later, Tina shows up in the director's room and they go for a second round when he calls 'action!' The hippy couple comes in and joins them for a group session - but are they there for the sex or something far more sinister?
Smith again gets a lot of screen time here and is in very fine form, but it's the director guy who steals the show. He's hysterical as he goes on and on about his art and his intentions with his film when it's clear that all he's really out to do is get as laid as possible. Oddly enough, none of the action here really takes place on a coach, most of it takes place on his bed, but calling the movie Casting Bed would be kind of strange.
The third and final bonus film is The Girl Watchers, from 1975. It begins with a really quick sex scene before cutting to a construction site where a worker is just about to enjoy his favorite time of day - lunch time! Hokey narration done with a weird southern accent drives the story here - what little there is. This guy and his pal watch some girls. It's all very choppy, not sure what's going on here.
Then we cut to a picnic where two dudes slam back some Bud's and grope a lady (Penny King) for a bit. They get rough, she protests, and they rape her. Of course, in true bad porno movie style, her protestations soon turn to enjoyment as she gives as good as she gets. From there we see a pretty blonde (Tricia Opal) diddling herself as she gets aroused by a soap opera on the TV in her kitchen. The more into this she gets, the more she finds a phallic squash or gourd of some sort appealing! While these vignettes are playing out we cut back and forth to a hotel room where a girl screws some guy with a really bad Iron Cross tattoo on his arm and to the construction site where Tina Smith and the weird narrator guy go at it. Tina's got some blue eye shadow on in this scene which is kind of awesome and very seventies looking. Smith's scene is a good one (watch out for splinters!) but it's the gourd gal who steals the show. Not much of a story here and only the construction worker guy seems to actually watch girls, but it is what it is.
A 'Retro Starlets' trailer advertising other ABA DVD releases and static menus/feature selection round out the extras.
The Final Word:
Alpha Blue's DVD release of Panty Party Plus The Lost Films Of Tina Smith is obviously catered to those with an affinity for Ms. Smith's considerable assets, and on that level the set is a winner. The movies themselves aren't all that remarkable in terms of production values or storytelling but then, that's not really the point. Throw in some nice work from Rene Bond in the opening feature and this is worth getting if you've got a thing for either actress.
