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Released by Random Media
Released on: March 24, 2015
Directed by: Rí³bert Koltai, í‰va Gí¡rdos
Cast: Michael Madsen, Vinnie Jones, Csaba Pindroch, Gyí¶zí¶ Szabí³, Jamelia
Year: 2012
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The Movie:
The cover art and back copy for Diamond Heist promise a crime thriller with plenty of action and gunplay. Top billed actors and bad asses Michael Madsen and Vinnie Jones only reinforce that assumption. However, this just a case of false advertising and a viewer will discover this rather quickly. It turns out the titular diamond heist exists only as a subplot, the film is really about a pair of bumbling Hungarian buddies pretending to be a famous male stripping duo known as the Magic Boys. You ask, why would two average Hungarians take the identities of male strippers? Well, to escape Hungary and flee to London in order to avoid the wrath of their boss, the owner of a champagne factory, Mr. Vargas (Jones), whom they saw murder a man in cold blood. Once in London, the faux-Magic Boys learn their new boss, former Chippendale dancer turn club owner Terence (Madsen), is also a diamond smuggler whom has history with Vargas. Along the way the Hungarian dancers find love (not with each other), save Terence from Vargas, and soon become proficient dancers.
Diamond Heist is a Hungarian-English comedy released under the title Magic Boys in Hungary. The film was co-written and co-directed by Rí³bert Koltai, whom also appears in the film as a supporting character named Bad News. Koltai is sort of a comedy legend in Hungry and if this film is any indication of his comedic style it is not at all surprising why he never became an international star. Much of the humor in Diamond Heist seems to come at the expense of the LGBT community. One such instance of questionable humor feature the faux-Magic Boys being forced to do a drag show. The act of cross dressing is not in and of itself humorous, there has to be an actual joke for something to be funny. An even more problematic scene played for laughs involves the real Magic Boys being, presumably, raped by a hairy, overweight man. Maybe I am a stick in the mud, but sexual assault just is not funny. There is also an embarrassing joke about gay oral sex. In spite of these moments, Koltai proves to be a director with some flair, occasionally his stylistic flourishes help Diamond Heist resemble a less obnoxious Guy Ritchie film.
Another problem with Diamond Heist is that it was often hard to keep track of what was going on in the film. A glaring example of this involves David (Csaba Pindroch), one of the faux-Magic Boys, and his romantic affair with Cherry Valentine (Jamelia), one of Terence's smugglers. The beginning of their relationship seems to begin off-screen. All of the sudden they are a couple, there is no buildup, it just happens. Instances like this made Diamond Heist feel like it was a comedy grafted onto a crime film and to make sure it did not exceed more than 90 minutes chunks of plot had to be eliminated.
One positive of the film was Michael Madsen. He seemed to spend the majority of the film hanging out in a hotel room drinking alcohol and smoking pot. He is involved with the highlight of the film which featured Madsen wearing a gold lame jacket destroying a hotel's breakfast buffet because it did not carry any lactose free yogurt. I suppose the film's second highlight would be the badly photoshopped picture of Madsen as a stripper showcased in the film in an awkward close-up.
Video/Audio/Extras:
Diamond Heist is brought to DVD by Random Media. The disc is given a rather nice anamorphic 1.85:1 image. One of the good things about the film was the cinematography, it was very professional looking, well-lit and glossy. The disc does a good job highlighting this aspect of the film. The DVD is also given a 5.1 Dolby Digital mix. Like the image, the sound is quite good. Both the music and dialogue are mixed well. While there is a great deal of loud Dance Pop used throughout the film it never overpowers the dialogue. Even though there are many different types of accents in the film, they are all very understandable.
Unfortunately, the disc was not given any extras, not even a trailer.
The Final Word:
If you are looking for crime thriller, look elsewhere. Diamond Heist is not the film you want. I am not sure who the audience is supposed to be as it does not work as either a comedy nor crime film, there is little to no action in the film and it also is not funny. I suppose if you want to spend 90 minutes with a couple of Hungarian idiots then this is the film for you.
