• Snow Honeys



    Released by: Impulse Pictures
    Released on: May 12th, 2015.
    Director: Adele Robbins
    Cast: Seka, Ronda Jo Petty, Mike Horner, Jamie Gillis, Desiree Cousteau, John Leslie
    Year: 1983
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    The Movie:

    Snow Honeys may be a loop carrier (meaning it was edited together using previously shot short loops and then regurgitated into a feature film… sort of) but at least it’s an amusing one. The premise behind the movie is simple enough – at a fancy ski lodge somewhere in the snowy mountains, a couple played by Ken Starbuck and Kara Lott arrives. They head to the private cabin that they’ve rented and then go ahead to flirt with one another and introduce a few different sex scenes – and it’s here that those loops come into play.

    Thankfully the inserted scenes are actually pretty good. Typically with loop carriers you wind up with some fairly mediocre footage but here, there’s star power aplenty. Mike Horner shows up to play Super Rod, a Superman-esque character that is there to save the day and get his rocks off at the same time. He gets it on with the lovely Kandi Barbour. Super Rod comes back later in the movie, towards the end, where none other than Seka herself, looking very fine in her trashy eighties era lingerie, joins in on that fun.

    Other scenes include Rhonda Jo Petty going at it with Jon Martin, John Leslie taking on Veri Knotty and Suzanne McBain on a fur rug with some kinky accessories, John Holmes going to town with Seka and the gorgeous Desiree Cousteau, Seka going at it with Paul Thomas and then again with a bearded Jamie Gillis and another woman and an appearance from none other than the beautiful Jesie St. James who takes on some lucky dude that this writer didn’t recognize. Oh and then there’s that scene where Becky Savage takes on two dudes and gets covered in mud or motor oil or… something and then there’s this weird montage of hardcore clips set to random split-screen effects that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense and that makes it hard to know who is screwing who and when (let alone why).

    There’s no real story here, just the bits with Ken Starbuck and Kara Lott to bridge things together. Of course, as the scenes play out those two get involved in some hot and heavy action of their own, you’d really expect no less. The quality of the camerawork in the movie varies from one scene to the next but for the most part the material is well shot and steamy enough to hold your attention. The footage of the ski lodge early in the film looks like stock footage but hey, that’s ok. The locations also vary, obviously, so where Ronda Jo might bone Jon Martin inside a fancy estate atop a floral patterned couch, Super Rod may save his damsel in distress (and be rewarded just as you’d imagine he would be) in a crummy looking hotel room of some sort… with footage of the outside of a fancy house there to give you the illusion that this had a budget and real locations.

    The sex is reasonably steamy in pretty much every scene. Everyone involved here seems like they’re enjoying themselves and they go at it with gusto and enthusiasm. There’s also an enjoyable sense of humor to much of what we see happen here, and that can go a long way towards making a dirty movie spliced together from various random sources more fun than it might be otherwise.

    Video/Audio/Extras:

    Snow Honeys is presented on DVD for the first time anywhere in 1.33.1 fullframe in a decent enough transfer. There is some damage here that was obviously not easily repairable but for the most part this is a pretty clean, clear and nicely detailed presentation. Colors are nicely reproduced, black levels are good and the image is quite nicely rendered here in standard definition. This one looks like a film print – the print damage is just part of it, the grain too. It’s a nicely authored disc, free of compression issues, edge enhancement and noise reduction problems.

    The Dolby Digital Mono track on the disc is decent enough. There’s some hiss in a few spots that is hard to ignore but it doesn’t really take you out of the movie at all. The levels are properly balanced so there aren’t any drastic shifts there to note, things are pretty stable. So yeah, if you don’t mind some minor background hiss and the occasional pop, the audio here is just fine.

    A static menu and chapter selection are all we get aside from the feature. We do get some keen reversible cover art though.

    The Final Word:

    Snow Honeys doesn’t make a whole lot of sense and was obviously put together from a multitude of different sources, none of which would actually appear to be connected to each other, but it’s fun and it’s silly and it’s sexy and it’s entertaining. This isn’t a bad way to kill seventy-five minutes if you dig vintage smut.