Eskimo Nell

Released by: 88 Films
Released on: February 16, 2015
Director: Martin Campbell
Cast: Roy Kinnear, Michael Armstrong, Terence Edmond, Christopher Timothy, Anna Quayle, Katy Manning, Rosalind Knight
Year: 1975
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The Movie:

Adult film producer Benny U. Murdoch, who owns B.U.M. Film Productions (get it?), entices three young filmmakers out of college to shoot a film for him, an erotic picture based on “The Ballad of Eskimo Nell,” a work of literature along the lines of… ahem, Rebecca, Anna Karenina, and Gone With the Wind. The three men—a producer obsessed with sex, a director who hopes to marry into a conservative family, and a writer who is both a virgin and obsessed with penguins—are such novices that they're tricked into signing a deal in which they will reimburse the investors for any losses the film incurs. Even worse, each of the investors has his own idea of what the film should be about and who should star in it. The first wants a hardcore porn film with his girlfriend in the lead; the second wants a kung-fu musical with his girlfriend in the lead; and the third wants an all-male western with his boyfriend, in full-on drag, in the lead. But before the filmmakers are able to start shooting, Benny runs off with the money, leaving them empty-handed and in debt. The director approaches his girlfriend's mother—a wealthy scion who heads an organization seeking to eliminate sex from cinema—to replenish their coffers. She agrees, but she wants the film to be a family-friendly love story, which she plans to screen for the royal family. Needless to say, zaniness ensues.

“The Ballad of Eskimo Nell” was a bawdy poem that recounted the story of Deadeye Dick, Mexican Pete, and the eponymous Eskimo Nell. Unhappy with what little titillation they get at home, Dick and Pete visit a brothel along the Rio Grande, where they seek to ravage the prostitutes. But not long into their visit, they are challenged by Eskimo Nell to bring her to orgasm, something she says that the men south of her usual wintery climes cannot do. Dick believes he's up to the task but finishes early and is ridiculed by Nell; Pete seeks to avenge his buddy by emptying his gun into Nell's private parts, but all he does is bring her to climax.

Exactly when the poem was written and who wrote it is unknown, though rumors have long held the author to be Noel Coward. In any case, the work itself has little to do with what shapes up here to be a typical British seventies sex farce, albeit one funnier than the average. Much of it plays like a Paul Morrissey adaptation of a Benny Hill script, dishing out a surprising amount of dry wit with its full-frontal female nudity and miscellaneous crudeness (check out, for example, the movie posters that adorn various walls).

Anyone knowledgeable about the social movements prevalent in Great Britain during the 1970s will immediately recognize the film's conservative matron as a farcical take on censor extraordinaire Mary Whitehouse (the famed "fucked-up old hag" of Pink Floyd's “Pigs (Three Different Ones)” on the band's 1977 release Animals), and the character of Murdoch is an amalgamation of erotic producers Tony Tenser and Stanley Long. While there's plenty to offend large sections of the population today (conservatives would be upset with its constant attacks on the right, while liberals would be upset with its pointed humor aimed at gay and trans people), it's ultimately a harmless affair, one that may laugh at segments of society but does so in a way that comes across as naí¯ve and strangely supportive today. The film's purpose isn't to demonize, really, so much as say, “We're all in this together, so why don't we laugh about it?”

Performances are surprisingly honest. Hammer fans will immediately recognize Taste the Blood of Dracula (1970) star Roy Kinnear as Murdoch, while Doctor Who fans will spot Katy Manning as Hermione. The script was written by actor Michael Armstrong, who also played the lead, Dennis Morrison. Armstrong is certainly no stranger to horror and exploitation fans. He also had a hand in the scripts for Horror House (1969), Mark of the Devil (1970), Mark of the Devil Part II (1973), House of the Long Shadows (1983), and Screamtime (1986), a couple of which he directed.

The biggest surprise, however, is who directed Eskimo Nell. This was only Martin Campbell's second film; he went on to hold the directorial reins on Goldeneye (1995), The Mask of Zorro (1998), Casino Royale (2006), and Green Lantern (2011), among others.

Video/Audio/Extras:

That the video quality for Eskimo Nell is problematic is understandable. 88 Films have released the picture in 1080p hi-def with an MPEG-4 AVC encode, from a 35mm transfer provided by the British Film Institute. The aspect ratio is a standard 1.66:1, which nicely and appropriately preserves the framing of the image. The problems are obviously inherent to the source used for the transfer. The film frequently suffers from borderline washout and faded colors. In some ways, this isn't a bad thing; it certainly preserves the 1970s feel to a fault. Colors tend toward brown, and skin tones are pale. Detail is fairly unremarkable, but there's a healthy grain structure. Most viewers will be so drawn in by the film itself that they will adjust quickly to the less-than-pristine image, which is at least largely blemish free, indicating that the BFI engaged in some restoration work. The image is also consistent.

The film's soundtrack has been placed on the disc in DTS-HD Master Audio Mono (it has a two-channel track, but the same sounds come from both the right and left channels), which should please purists. There are no serious issues to report; the sound is generally hiss-free and clear. There are no subtitles for the deaf and hearing impaired, at least not on the test disc provided to Rock! Shock! Pop! for review, but thankfully the film's soundtrack is clear and easy to follow. Also, as with the video, it's remarkably consistent, with no jumps or dips that make holding the remote a requirement. In addition to the soundtrack, there's a second audio track featuring commentary from film historian Simon Sheridan, who hosts writer/actor Armstrong. The commentary is a fascinating look at British exploitation filmmaking in the 1970s and well worth a listen.

There are a couple of extras, not the least of which is a six-minute short, The Wild Lovers, shot on soundless 8 mm film. It's clearly been remastered in hi-def and, as such, looks surprisingly good. It casts adult film star Mary Millington, who had a cameo in Eskimo Nell, as one in a quartet who have sex after a card game.

There's also a trailer for Eskimo Nell, which runs 2:44, as well as a trailer for Two Moon Junction (1988). A stills gallery (2:08) features promotional materials for the film and is set to the title song.

The Final Word:

Eskimo Nell is outrageous fun, a likeably silly sex romp with something to offend everyone. The transfer is largely blemish free and organic but from a print that suffers fade. Extras, which include an audio commentary, trailers, and a short film, are valuable as documents of a historical period in filmmaking that can never be recreated. All in all, Eskimo Nell is a wildly entertaining way to spend a couple of hours of your time.

Click on the images below for full sized Blu-ray screencaps!