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Apartment Girls

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  •  
    Todd Jordan
    Smut is good.

  • Apartment Girls



    Released by: VCX
    Released on: 11/2/2009
    Director: Bernard Laszio
    Cast: Linda Talley, Larry Thomas
    Year: 197?
    Purchase From TLA

    The Movie:

    Young Annie, an 18 year old honor student, is pulled out of high school by her domineering mother, Ethel, in order to earn money for the family. The thing is, her mother is making her turn tricks. Annie's father Doug wants to be sure she's capable of earning the big bucks so he takes her for a test run first, with Ethel right there to make sure she knows how to please a woman as well as a man. So basically Annie's parents rape her. And then, in comes Uncle Steve.

    Uncle Steve knows a good pimp that will treat Annie well. He takes Annie over to the pimp's place, which is full of other young ladies, and the two men double-team poor Annie right in the middle of all the other girls. It seems Annie is getting the hang of things and after the two dopes finish the job they leave her to be cleaned up by some of the rest of the hookers. A tongue bath ensues with half a dozen chicks. Annie, dazed and confused, finds a gun under the couch cushion and heads back to mom and dad's pad. She enters the apartment to find her parents slamming ham and proceeds to pumping of her own with bullets. After they're dead, she calls her Uncle Steve and tells him someone broke in and killed her parents. Steve of course shows up with the pimp, only to meet the business end of the gun. She makes it look like a murder-suicide, pees on the mom, and then leaves.

    Ok, none of that really happened. There's just not much to say about the real movie and I wanted to fill up space. Here's the real scoop:

    Some couples wake up in their respective beds and have sex. Then they all powwow in the someone's apartment and have an orgy. That's it. There are some things of note though. At one point someone brings refreshments and snacks, which end up being used in the scrogging. Alcohol is poured on genitals and then licked up, cigarette smoke is used in a blowjob, and someone tries sucking dick through a bagel. The sex is ok, there are some attractive women here, but the award on this one goes to an unnamed blonde. She looks like she is really enjoying herself and as a result is pretty damn sexy. At one point she starts getting it from behind and wears a smile…you can't fake the look she has. Because of her, the movie earns a place in the spank bank. The DVD states the movie was made while porn was illegal to make (70s) and so most of the actors remain anonymous so her name is not made public. Too bad…she should be in more porns (maybe she is!). One other item of note is the soundtrack. It's instrumental versions of some familiar songs, most identifiable being The Rolling Stones "Satisfaction."

    This looks as though it was made by a group of swingers, as the sex for the most part looks genuine. That is to say, the participants look as though they are really having a good time and are in it for the honey, not the money.

    Video/Audio/Extras:

    This is a movie shot-on-film (probably Super 8) in a 4:3 full screen aspect ratio. Lots of print damage on this one make it low on the quality scale, but it also adds to the nostalgia of it. Those too critical of DVD picture quality might look elsewhere. But even though the picture is rough, it's very watchable.

    The audio is a Dolby Digital 5.1 track, but it doesn't benefit from the technology at all. It sounds like the same sounds coming out of each speaker. The movie was probably recorded in mono, given the period it was made, but hey, if you want to her moaning and groaning all around you, check this out. No imperfections to report other than what is obviously on the source material (pops and the like).

    There're some extras to browse through, with some repeats from other VCX discs released around the same time. First is four “Bonus Scenes” from various movies (Private Moments, Beverly Hills Wives, Take Me Down and Tower of Power), with running times from six minutes to fourteen. There're some notables in these for sure: Amber Lynn, Annette Haven, and the amazing Brigitte Lahaie. Sadly the Tower of Power scene isn't the one with Colleen Brennan, but Annette Haven certainly is a sight to behold, so it'll do. Then check out some vintage trailers: Shared With Strangers, Vista Valley PTA, Visions of Clair and Swedish Sorority Girls). Last is a “Legendary Tribute” which can be found on other VCX releases.

    The Final Word:

    Weak on the story (there is no story), but a movie with some things going for it nonetheless, Apartment Girls is one of those dirty movies to throw on at a bachelor party and have play in the background. It's sure to get some comments, especially with the bagel scene. It's weird. The “Bonus Scenes” in the extras are really good this time around and add to the overall worth of the disc.
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