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Safety First: The Rise of Women!

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    Todd Jordan
    Smut is good.

  • Safety First: The Rise of Women!



    Released by: Lunch Money Movies
    Released on: 05/18/08
    Director: Mac Kelly
    Cast: Liliya Czarina, Monica Huntington, Erica Ibsen
    Year: 2008
    Purchase From TLA

    The Movie:

    What do you get when you mix office safety films, corny jokes, and lots of boobage? Safety First: The Rise of Women of course! Set in an office building somewhere in California (Los Angeles?), this sketch comedy picture focuses on the many hazards found in the work place, specifically how to react during a building fire, an earthquake, medical emergencies, bomb threats. Each of the vignettes is hosted by a one of five buxom beauty with lots of support booby ladies to demonstrate procedures and protocol so no ones gets hurt and every thing comes out roses. The entire program is narrated by a Lloyd Kaufman clone and each segment, seamlessly tied together, is filled with goofy jokes and sight gags, a great deal of which involve exposed breasts or close ups of clothed breasts bouncing around.

    That's really all there is to this one. What it has to offer is fifty minutes of foolishness enhanced by scantily clad and topless women. The breasts seem to be selected to appeal to most preferences: natural little perky ones, hard-as rock falsies that defy gravity, knee-knockers, naturals, big beautiful women, old lady teats, and of dairy farms of various ethnicity. The women with the speaking roles are for the most part giving a decent comic performance, and the jokes, while corny and not of the leg-slapping variety, garner a chuckle here and there.

    Let's be honest. This isn't groundbreaking comedy. It's not even Saturday Night Live end-of-the-show funny. And it certainly isn't anything memorable. The jokes are sexist and it doesn't put women into a very favorable light, other than they've got fun bags. But it is entertaining and at only 50 minutes long plus full of bresticles, it's not a chore at all to sit through. If you like looking at ta-tas this may be of interest to you, and there are some pretty women to behold. It's just dumb mindless entertainment.


    Video/Audio/Extras:

    The flick is shown in 1.77:1 anamorphic widescreen. The picture looks clean with nice colors and a good amount of detail. Looks like they got the old white balance where it needed to be. Blacks are pretty deep, skin tones look correct. Boobs look good. No imperfections to note (like pixelation). Pretty basic stuff.

    The audio track is a simple 2.0 Dolby Digital track. Like the image, the sound does a fine job, but is nothing to leave you slack-jawed. The balance sounds right, there's some music that comes through well and doesn't over power. No pops or hissing, or sync issues were noticed.

    There's a decent amount of extras to be seen. A slide show starts it off at 4:22 with a nice music bed to accompany it. Its photos of the chicks in the movie as well as behind the scenes image. Next is an item called “Mac's Video Blogs”, which is made up of 16 short subjects, all featuring women doing various things, some from the movie, with narration by the director. These range in time from a minute up to a few minutes, but without a “play all” option which is a pain in the juggs. There is also a trailer for the movie and a text biography of the director.

    The Final Word:

    A fun watch, including the extras, if you're a fan of the ladies. If you're a fan of comedy, go find something else. There's not much reason to watch this other than the for the eye candy.
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