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Released by: Full Moon Entertainment
Released on: August 18th, 2016.
Director: Harry Hurwitz (as Harry Tampa)
Cast: Don Sparks, Sy Richardson, Irwin Corey, Linnea Quigley, Angela Aames, Martha Reeves
Year: 1978
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The Movie:
The Prince (Don Sparks) of a fairy tale kingdom has just celebrated his twenty-first birthday and now that he's a man, he has to prove to his father that he can sire a son or risk losing the kingdom he is set to inherit. The Prince has a problem, however - he can't get it up! Not wanting to completely give up on his son, the King hires a trio of corny and horny comedian types - supposedly doctors of some sort played by Irwin Corey, Robert Harris and Simmy Bow - to take him around the kingdom to see what can be done to help him.
The first attempt seems them putting The Prince in front of a beautiful buxom lass (Idy Tripodi) in hopes that her naked figure will cause the stirrings in his loins that they need, but it's not use. The Prince, however, things he could maybe sport wood for the curly haired cutie whose pictures hangs on the wall of his room, a princess who has unfortunately gone A.W.O.L. - no one knows where she's run off to! Eventually they send the Prince off into the 'Land Of The Fairies' to find a cure for his limp wang woes, and along the way he blacks out only to wake up to the sight of Little Bo Peep (Angela Aames) ready to get down! It doesn't work, and she sends him off to see the Woman Who Lives In The Shoe, Madame Gussy (Brenda Fogerty). Of course, the shoe is a brothel (complete with a pimp played by Sy Richardson and a doorman played by Roberts Staats) and each room of said brothel is both themed and inhabited by some familiar characters. An example? There's a room wherein Snow White (Anne Gaybis) coverts with seven dwarfs. There is, however, a secret room way upstairs - but it will remain locked for now as our pimp takes the Prince on a carnal tour of 'Fairy Land' looking for the girl who will get him hard. Meanwhile, various people have an orgy in the shoe that leads into a song and dance routine about a supposed virgin (Linnea Quigley) who just so happens to be locked away in that secret room and who may or may not be the Princess that our noodle-dicked hero lusts for!
Wait, song and dance routine? Yep, Fairy Tales, like the sexed up version of Alice In Wonderland, is a raunchy musical chock full of softcore bumping and grinding and loads of scintillating nudity - and it's got a lot of song and dance numbers in it. The best one is Snow White singing about fooling around with the Seven Dwarfs - it's so wrong that it's right - but the others are all fairly enjoyable too. The one in which a masked Evelyn Guerrero and two other foxy ladies sing about the joys of S&M play stands out too, it's done with some poor bastard chained up behind them obviously loving every second of this. It's all pretty goofy stuff, played with a wink and a nod to the camera and never afraid to delve into the type of stereotypes that were popular in sexy comedies of the time: the requisite super gay character is played by Jeff Doucette - Jack - who runs about with Lindsay Freeman (also known as Alexandra Day who showed up in Boardinghouse!) as Jill. The whole thing is pretty much harmless, but as goofy and hokey and painfully low budget as it is, it's entertaining enough.
The movie also features a pretty keen cast. Don Sparks is likeable enough in the lead, and check out how fresh and clean looking Linnea is here! There's absolutely nothing wrong with Angela Aames in a Little Bo Peep outfit, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Sy Richardson steals a few scenes as the pimp, particularly when he's arguing with himself in front of the magic mirror, and Roberts Staats as the brothel doorman is hysterical in a motor-mouthed-won't-shut-up sort of way. Be on the lookout for a disco party voodoo queen played by Martha Reeves of Martha And The Vandellas fame where she rises out of a cauldron to do her song and dance number (she's not in any of the other scenes and reportedly was completely unaware of the type of film she'd signed up to appear in - as the story goes she brought members of her church group to the premiere - Band mentions this in the commentary!).
Note that the previous DVD release of this film was the R-rated cut and as such, a lot of the stronger nudity and sex was obviously trimmed. This Blu-ray release would appear to present the film in its uncut form (the packaging touts that it 'includes 5 additional minutes of never seen before scenes!)' as the nudity is fairly constant and the sex scenes quite a bit stronger than would likely pass with an R, and there are extended group sex scenes here that weren't in the older DVD release.
Video/Audio/Extras:
Fairy Tales arrives on Blu-ray from Full Moon Entertainment uncut in an AVC encoded 1080p high definition presentation taken from a new scan of the original 35mm negative and it looks great. The stock footage inserts still look to be of lesser quality than the footage shot specifically for the feature but outside of that the image is very clean and it boasts excellent color reproduction. Some minor print damage shows up here and there but nothing so severe as to prove distracting. Grain is present and it looks nice and natural, there are no obvious issues with overzealous noise reduction nor are there any problems with any edge enhancement or compression artifacts. Unfortunately, however, the image is a bit vertically stretched, making things look a little taller and thinner than they should.
The default audio option for the feature is an English language Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound mix, there are no alternate language options or subtitles provided. The original mono track would have been preferable as there isn't much in the way of channel separation here and when it does happen, it sounds kind of forced, but aside from that (and the fact that there's no lossless option provided), things sound fine. The dialogue is easy enough to follow and understand and while there is the occasional spot of hiss here and there's, it's never a big deal. For those who don't want the 5.1 track, a 2.0 mix is also found on the disc, again in English. It sounds a bit more true to source
The main extra feature on the disc is a commentary track from producer Charles Band and writer Frank Ray Perilli. This is a pretty enjoyable track even if at times it sounds like they're flying by the seat of their pants. Both guys have got a fair bit to say here, even if Band occasionally says things like 'who can remember?' and sort of brushes past certain details. Aside from that they cover where some of the ideas came from, who wrote some of the songs for the feature, the set design, the costumes, reception to the film when it was released, and what the various cast members were all able to bring to the production. Band notes that the movie isn't as low budget as some might expect, given that they had to build all the sets, shooting without permits, where some of the props came from (the bed was used previously in Cinderella, why all the film's escapades take place in the shoe and how creating the rooms for the shoe required different soundstages, what footage in this versions was not seen in earlier cuts (“people who watch this Blu-ray will be very happy if they're into seventies bush!â€).
Aside from that we get trailers for a few other Full Moon properties (but not for the feature itself), menus and chapter selection for the feature.
The Final Word:
Fairy Tales isn't deep, but it is entertaining. It's chock full of sex and skin but at the same time, is done with such an obvious sense of humor and fun that it never really feels particularly sordid, even with the extended couplings included in this uncut version. Full Moon's release is a good one, offering up the film in a very nice transfer and with a solid audio commentary too. The sound mixes are both lossy but otherwise, this is a pretty great release of a really musical fun sex comedy.
Click on the images below for full sized Blu-ray screen caps!
