Tweet
Released by: Vinegar Syndrome
Released on: March 28th, 2017.
Director: Carlos Tobalina
Cast: Candie Evans, Bunny Bleu, Tom Byron, Ron Jeremy, Colleen Brennan, Danielle, Crystal Breeze, Francois Papilion, Carlos Tobalina
Year: 1987/1985
Purchase From Amazon
The Movie:
Two early more eighties features from Carlos Tobalina, whether you like it or not!
Boiling Desires:
The first feature stars Candie Evans and Bunny Bleu as two roommates. They get along really well - we know this early on in the film when they shower together. You know how these things tend to go in adult movies.
From there, the girls just sort of hang out and talk… about sex. Bunny goes first, telling Candie a riveting tale of how, at a young age, she got it on with her teacher (played by Ron Jeremy) in the hopes that he'd up her grades in the class she was then flunking out of. We get to see all of this play out by way of some well-timed flashbacks set to some wonky harmonica music. After that fun memory, Candie sets out for her hot date with hunky Marc Wallice (yes, the same guy who has been widely accused of being the 'patient zero' of the late nineties HIV panic in the porn industry - which is seriously fucking ironic given that his character asks Bunny if she's got any STD's before they fuck!). She tells him she can't wait to learn about sex with him and he responds in kind. Not surprisingly, they go at it too.
Meanwhile, Bunny has hooked up with Tom Byron, the fresh faced boy next door who tells her that she reminds him of a movie star. This is apparently a good enough pickup line to work, and before you know it they've gone back to a hotel room to bump uglies and deliver more mind-numbingly bad dialogue. After that, the girls wind up back at their place where, after more talk, they bust out a Magic Wand to keep themselves amused while waiting for their dates to arrive. Once the guys do show up, they just sort of swap orifices and partners at will, before later switching back to their original partners and going at it one last time while some stunningly bizarre music plays in the background.
This is pretty goofy stuff. Not much to the story, really, just two horny roommates who seem pretty experienced in the ways of love simply 'learning' about sex from the men they encounter and, of course, each other (and a Magic Wand). It isn't deep, but it's watchable enough. Both Evens and Bleu are attractive enough to make for decent leads. Their acting skills aren't really all that impressive but they don't need to be, there's no serious drama to relay here, just hokey dialogue Tobalina style and a lot of sucking and fucking. On that level the ladies succeed.
Love Champions:
The second film on the disc is also pretty goofy - it's sort of an instructional movie, but not really. The premise is simple enough though: there exists somewhere in the world, or at least there did, an institute of sorts were couples experiencing trouble in the bedroom can come for a sexually educational retreat. But before we get to that, we start off with one of Tobalina's favorite things… a big ol' orgy complete with giant dongs bopping to and fro right in front of the camera. Once we get that out of the way we meet the various couples - Brooke Fields and Greg Derek, Danielle and Tom Byron, would be divorcees who have been ordered to attend these classes by a judge - that have arrived, looking for help. We also see Tobalina himself, clad in a white doctor's coat, administering some special finger bang moves to a few willing female participants (one of whom is Crystal Breeze).
Once the attendees are given an introduction, they're unleashed on Dr. Tobalina's assistant, played with plenty of enthusiasm by Colleen Brennan (or Sharon Kelly if you prefer), clad here in GIANT eighties style glasses (which do come off fairly early on after she makes her entrance in the picture) and with seriously bouffant hair… yet somehow still very hot in spite of all of this. She talks her way through a few different sexy situations and then encourages the couples to get naked and screw in front of her while she spouts off random bits and bobs of advice and instructs them in sex moves like 'The Gypsy Grip' and the 'Polynesian Swirl!.' Around this time, D.J. Cone also shows up and joins in on Brennan's instructional sexsions, and then eventually the two couples start swapping partners and then, predictably, Brennan and Cone join in on the fun. When the men ejaculate, there are laser sounds. I don't know why. Then, once the couples action is done, everyone gets together for that giant orgy that we saw in the beginning of the movie, which I suppose means you could watch this movie on loop for all of eternity if you wanted to.
This plotless nonsense somehow manages to be completely watchable in spite of itself. A lot of the credit for that is due to the cast members, all of whom perform with a fair bit of genuine enthusiasm. Of course, it's always amusing to see Tobalina himself pop up in roles like this. Here he's sort of a ringleader, a fingerbanging ringleader, splitting the whole gang off into groups and all for the sexual betterment of mankind. If it HAS to end in an orgy, so be it. This was probably shot in his house anyway, whose going to argue with the guy?
Sharon Kelly steals the show here. She's a fox, no doubt about it, and as mentioned she manages to somehow remain attractive despite the fashions of the era levying a few strikes against her. As far as her skills in offering sexual advice? Well, she knows her lines and delivers them well enough. We don't necessarily buy her as any sort of genius but she's good in the part and if her work as an educator in the picture isn't rocket science, it doesn't need to be. She's got curves in all the right places and plenty of energy and yeah, even a sense of humor (no one involved in any of this seemed to be taking it all too seriously). She and Cone have some interesting chemistry here too, and it's fun to see them together on screen.
Video/Audio/Extras:
Both movies are presented anamorphic widescreen in standard definition transfer taken from new 2k scans of the original 35mm negatives. Each film on the disc looks great, offering strong detail and clarity throughout. Additionally, both films are pretty clean and show little in the way of print damage. Great colors, good depth and texture, strong black levels - these look really nice.
Both films get the English language Dolby Digital Mono treatment. Clarity is just fine in each film with the music used in each feature sounding nice and clear. Balance is fine in each picture. There's a bit of hiss in Ladies Night but it's nothing too distracting. Otherwise, dialogue is clean, crisp and clear. There are no alternate language options or subtitles provided.
There are no extras on the disc, just a static menu offering feature and reel selection.
The Final Word:
Vinegar Syndrome's DVD double feature release of Peekarama: Boiling Desires / Love Champions presents two more of Tobalina's goofy features in remarkably nice shape. Neither picture is an absolute classic but there's some great casting here, and Colleen Brennan in George Romero glasses with poofy eighties here? RAD.
