• Gwar: Orgasmageddon #1



    Gwar: Orgasmageddon #1
    Released by: Dynamite Entertainment
    Released on: June 7th, 2017.
    Written by: Matt Maguire, Matt Miner
    Illustrated by: Jonathan Brandon Sawyer, Matt Maguire
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    The first issue of this new Gwar series from Dynamite Entertainment starts off with a quick origin – ages ago Gwar were banished by The Master from their home planet of Scumdogia and sent off to Earth where they had sex with apes and created humanity. When they triggered the Ice Age, they were frozen until the eighties when a crack dealer named Sleazy P. Martini found them, defrosted them and turned them into a heavy metal band. The incarnation of the group in this series is made up of Blothar, Balsac The Jaws Of Death, Jizmak Da Gusha, Beefcake The Mighty and their bodyguard Bonesnapper.

    When the story starts off, the band is playing Slaughterama in front of a crowd that they then proceed to massacre in true Gwar fashion. Just as the show comes to an end, Sawborg Destructo appears, ordering Gwar on behalf of The Master to return with him. It turns into a bloody battle but Slymenstra Hymen and her new ‘companion’ Estrogina Lugubrious show up just in time to take him out. Sawborg wasn’t alone, however, as moments later a giant penis shaped spaceship plows through the wall and Mr. Perfect appears, hoping to assimilate Sawborg’s DNA into his own in order to further his quest to ‘discover the ultimate balance of mind, body and power.’ Given that Mr. Perfect was the one who murdered Gwar’s original vocalist Orderus Urungus, they don’t take kindly to him and another bloody fight breaks out.

    Eventually Gwar wind up in the ‘meat rocket’ which has the ability to travel through time. Without really knowing what they’re doing or how to operate the ship, they wind up at their first destination – feudal Japan – where they’re met by a troop of samurai warriors that mistakes them for invading Koreans. When the meat rocket slips up, they shift to colonial era America where Gwar surmises that the British red coats they encounter are actually the agents of their enemy Cardinal Syn. Mass slaughter ensues. Back in the meat rocket, they come to the realization that they have no control over where they’re going until the ship gets fixed – Pustulous is working on it, but these things take time… and before he can get anywhere the band will visit the Hindenburg, a certain heroin loving grunge icon in Seattle and a murder scene in Los Angeles involving ‘that guy from the Hertz commercials.’

    This first issue is pretty funny. It’s loaded with pop culture references like nods to Lone Wolf And Cub, Watchmen and The Fantastic Four to name just a few but it doesn’t go overboard with it, the story just uses this to add to the humor. As this is a Gwar book, it’s plenty violent and pretty crass but if wouldn’t work if it weren’t. Miner and Maguire are careful enough with their script to give each of the members of Gwar, and even their enemies, enough distinct personality traits to make them interesting to the readers. They book plays to the band’s storied history by bringing in characters from throughout their different albums and video projects, which is something that fans should get a kick out of, but also manages to bring in a new character in the form of Estrogina (who appeared at Five Points Fest in NYC earlier this month). There’s nice attention to detail in the story and the art. Great use of color here too, and the penciling is pretty tight. It’s cartoonish to an extent, which is fitting, but never sloppy looking. The look of the book suits the style of humor of the enjoyably chaotic story quite well.

    In addition to the main Gwar story, this first issue also features some backup pieces. The first of these is The Startling Saga Of Sgt. Zipperpig F.M., an X-Cops story written and illustrated by Bob Gorman. For those not familiar with X-Cops, they were a Gwar side project that poked fun at cop stereotypes. This short tells how a cop/Free Mason named Paul Zypygski got in trouble with his lodge for talking too much. A hit was put out on him and a bomb burnt off all of his skin. He was picked up by the X-Cops and…. To be continued! Also on hand is a Gwar Slave Follies short called Pissing Match written by Miner and Maguire and illustrate by Scott Wygmans. It’s quick piece where Estrogina, under Slymenstra’s tutelage, makes a bit of a mess. When Slymenstra orders two slaves to clean it up, well, there’s a humorous misunderstanding.

    All in all, a really fun first issue. This isn’t the first time Gwar has appeared in comic book form. Last Gasp published a Skulheadface one shot in 1994 and after that there was a Slavepit Funnies series that ran seven issues or so. Orgasmageddon continues in the same vein, bringing the band’s exploits to the printed page with tongue placed firmly in cheek. It’s pretty entertaining stuff, and definitely a comic that Gwar fans should get a big kick out of.