• The Lost Films Of Kathy Hilton (Alpha Blue Archives) DVD Review

    Released by: Alpha Blue Archives
    Released on: December, 2015.
    Director: Bill Board/na/James Bryan
    Cast: Kathy Hilton, Alex Elliot, Maria Arnold, Terri Johnson, Danny Sillman, Leonard Shoemaker, Barbara Mills, Titus Moede
    Year: 1970/1970/1970

    The Lost Films Of Kathy Hilton – Movie Reviews:

    Alpha Blue Archives does right by fans of seventies softcore pictures by offering up a trio of films, all made in 1970 and featuring the beautiful, dark haired Kathy Hilton. Known for appearances in sexploitation pictures like The Toy Box, The Dicktator and Invasion Of The Bee Girls, Kathy was a very attractive woman with a decent screen presence. If she wasn’t the greatest actress the world has ever seen, the roles she chose didn’t ask her to be. She was also Canadian by birth, so bonus points for that.

    The Caper:

    We start with a sixty-one-minute picture directed by ‘Bill Board’ and written by ‘Chuck Wagon’ in 1970. It opens with two lovely young women engaged in the throes of passion in front of a fireplace. They make out for a few minutes, in the buff, engaging in softcore bumping and grinding for our amusement, while some sax-heavy jazz plays on the soundtrack. There’s a nice vase of roses on the table in the forefront and a potted cactus in the background. The camera pulls back and we see Sally (played by Ms. Hilton) and her camera – Sally is directing the action and taking some snaps – clearly she is a photographer for some sort of dirty adult publication!

    Suddenly, Sally has other things to do! She asks the two ladies to get dressed and answers the door – a man shows up and, as Sally asks, takes off his shirt. His name is Terry (Danny Sillman) and the lesbians think he has a great body, which means maybe they’re not really lesbians but who knows. Anyway, he thinks they have ‘cute bodies’ too. He models for Sally after dropping his pants and she takes some snaps of him in his underwear and black socks. Eventually she convinces him to get buck naked and compliments him on his member. She has him pose as if he’s playing golf, which is clearly a sexy thing to do. She gives him free reign to ‘try and turn me on’ and soon enough, he wanders over to the couch where she’s sitting and they make out and then screw.

    With that out of the way, Sally shoots another guy, Tommy (Alex Elliot) and then once again has to answer the door. This time, it’s a woman, her next door neighbor, Julie (Maria Arnold), come to see what’s going on. Sally is glad she stopped by as her car is in the shop and she needs a ride to the police station. Julie wants to stay and watch the rest of the shoot and Sally coerces her to join in on the fun. Soon enough, Tommy and Julie and prancing abut in the buff and Sally is snapping away as they inevitably have sex on her couch. Later, Terry shows up unexpectedly but, Sally, being a good sport, invites him in despite the fact that Tommy and Julie are still going at it. Sally, however, is upset – see, the reason she wanted to go to the cop shop was because when Terry left the day before, her purse also disappeared. Terry says he didn’t do it and she figures she could have lost it – and she starts a new photo shoot with him which, of course, leads to them screwing on the floor right beside the other couple.

    The phone rings at just about the worst possible time, but Sally answers anyway. Her purse has been found… in Long Beach! She needs Julie to drive her over there so the group grope is over. She asks Terry to forgive her for the assumption, and he does. When Sally and Julie split, however, Tommy and Terry wander on into her place and start cleaning the place out! But Sally is no fool – the door opens up and she and Julie are there with a cop, catching them red-handed! The cop perp-walks Tommy and Terry out the door and Julie and Sally get it on – THE END!

    This movie is as dumb as it is watchable. There’s on set – Sally’s living room, that’s it – and a pretty small cast but it’s amusing in its ridiculousness. Kathy Hilton gets a lot of screen time here, which is a very good thing, and having Maria Arnold thrown into the mix for good measure doesn’t hurt anything either. The male actors are a pair of doofus’ but they’re fun to watch here. Even if nobody in the movie can act worth a damn it doesn’t really matter. This is short but sweet, good harmless sexy fun.

    Escape To Passion:

    The next film on the DVD is from director James Bryan and was also released by Code Red as the first feature on their James Bryan Film Festival triple feature release (where it was teamed up with The Dirtiest Game In The World and I Love You, I Love You Not). Here, over the course of eighty-three-minutes, we learn about a low level wannabe crook named Leo (Leonard Shoemaker). When the movie opens he’s in an alleyway dodging the fuzz, and taking at a topless blonde bombshell combing her hair. Leo heads into that apartment with the blonde and hey, it’s his lady friend Judy (Bambi Allen) and she wants him to do something. He sweet talks her, tells her to stick with him because he’s going places. She shows him her boobs and he’s into it, because boobs are great. Their apartment has loads of pictures of cinematic tough guys and gangsters like Cagney and Bogart on the walls.

    It turns out Leo is in cahoots with another low rent crook named Nads (Frank Millen) and another thug named Jason (Sebastian Figg). They decide they can change their lowly lot in life by robbing the place that Leo works at. After all, Leo knows the place like the back of his hand and it should be a pretty easy gig and, after all, his boss J.J. is an asshole. They pull it off, barely, but wind up with only a measly fifty bucks in cash for their efforts. Regardless, Leo’s clearly acquired a taste for the criminal life, much to the dismay of Judy, who is starting to get fed up with his nonsense. Soon enough, she’s had her fill and she leaves him but Leo doesn’t let this keep him down for too long, and is soon hopping into the sack with a stripper named Cherry (Kathy Hilton).

    Ambitious, if more than a little bit stupid, Leo sets his sights on something bigger for his next job – and honest to God bank. He and his pals start planning for it and think they’ve got everything all lined up, but when it comes time to actually pull it off? That’s a different story all together, but thankfully there’s some Crisco around for the orgy. No, really.

    This is more of a low-budget crime film with a lot of soft sex thrown in than a soft sex film with low-budget crime film elements thrown in, but it’s pretty entertaining if you go into it knowing that. Complete with gratuitous RC Cola product placement shots, this one has some poorly staged action scenes on par with a high school drama class production and some less than inspired sucking and fucking, but there’s nothing here that approaches anything even close to hot (though, as usual, Ms. Hilton does look very good, as does early 70’s XXX starlet Ms. Barbara Mills).

    Bryan made better movies. Bryan made worse movies. At least this one has some wonky old school country duets on the soundtrack and, yeah, that Crisco scene towards the end is something to see.

    She Couldn’t Say No:

    This third and final film is a forty-six-minute picture, a Desoto Film we’re told, that opens in a shink’s office in Copenhagen. The shrink is Alex Elliot, who also appeared in The Caper. Anyway, Natalie (Hilton) is in the office and she tells him that she has an uncontrollable urge to make out with the nurse (Terri Johnson). The doctor gets the nurse’s permission to let Natalie move ahead with this plan, and so she does! This rad lesbian scene goes on for a while and then the doctor himself has the good sense to join in.

    Once that’s over with, Natalie talks to the doctor about her sexual past. We learn – and see via flashback – how her husband, Peter, busted her going at it with her brother-in-law, Joseph! A fight breaks out and Natalie tells him that Joseph had had a bad day and needed some love. Peter isn’t having it, he ties her to the bed and screws her! Natalie, however, is into it. From there, we learn how Peter brought home a hooker from the red light district named Inga and forced her to have sex with her while he joined in screwed them both. If you listen carefully, you can hear the director in the background. Anyway, Natalie and Inga warmed to one another eventually, Natalie feeling sorry for the streetwalker, feeling that she needed to help her. How does Natalie help her? By making out with her and then having rad lesbian sex with her again!

    The doctor decides that the way to cure Natalie of whatever it is that ails her is to hypnotize her. He does this and then we travel back to when she was celebrating her eighteenth birthday. Her father gifts her with a ring and then decides to ‘make her a woman,’ which results in raping her. The doctor wakes her out of the trance he put her into and I guess she’s cured because she comes to the realization that the reason she wants to help everyone by having sex with them is because ‘I let my daddy down.’ THE END.

    More explicit than the first feature by quite a bit, this still doesn’t quite cross over into hardcore territory (though the first lesbian scene comes pretty close). Once again, Hilton gets a lot of screen time and the movie is all the better for it. At forty-six-minutes it’s a pretty quick watch and the whole thing with the psychiatrist is really only there to string together the sex scenes – there isn’t really much story here at all – but the sex scenes are reasonably well done and the girls attractive enough to make this work even if it probably shouldn’t.

    The Lost Films Of Kathy Hilton – DVD Review:

    All three films on this disc are presented in 1.33.1 fullframe, which would appear to be their proper aspect ratios. The Caper looks pretty good. There’s mild print damage throughout but nothing too major and the image is stable and colorful. Likewise, Escape To Passion looks alright. Clearly taken from an unrestored print it has okay color but, like the other two, shows print damage throughout. She Couldn’t Say No is on the same quality level, it’s a decent enough standard defection transfer of a worn print but perfectly watchable with good color.

    The only audio option for the three feature attractions are English language Dolby Digital Mono tracks. Hiss is present throughout the duration of each feature. Levels are balanced well and while the tracks are flat, those accustomed to how lousy old early 70’s fuck films tend to sound, particularly the really low budget kind like the three represented here, probably won’t take issue. Subtitles? Nah.

    Aside from static menus offering feature selection, an Alpha Blue Archives Retro Starlets promo spot is included as are a couple ‘Kathy Hilton 16mm loops.’ In the first one, Kathy lies in bed while a woman with a feather duster gets her attention and then starts rubbing her ample bosom. They make out and has rad lesbian sex, each lady giving as good as she gets. The second loop sees Kathy as the aggressor, and it opens with her fondling the ample bosom of a lady in a bed – also using a feather duster. Sleeping beauty wakes up, and they once again have rad lesbian sex. This cuts very quickly – we assume it’s a third loop – to a different room where Kathy and a different dark haired gal are fully clothed… but not for long! They make out and, you guessed it, have rad lesbian sex on a different bed (at least it looks different, the headboard is gone). Both of these are technically softcore in that there’s no penetration but just barely – they leave very little to the imagination. Combined, the run twenty-minutes. They were shot without sound so Alpha Blue Archives was good enough to lay some weird disco tracks overtop of them.

    The Lost Films Of Kathy Hilton – The Final Word:

    Alpha Blue Archive’s DVD release The Lost Films Of Kathy Hilton is a good one, with two of the three features on the disc legitimately hard to come by and the third, well, entertaining enough and worth checking out. The presentation won’t blow anyone away but it’s more than watchable and inclusion of the bonus loops is a nice touch.