Announcement
Collapse
No announcement yet.
Santa With Muscles (Mill Creek Entertainment) Blu-ray Review
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
Santa With Muscles (Mill Creek Entertainment) Blu-ray Review
Released by: Mill Creek Entertainment
Released on: November 5th, 2019.
Director: John Murlowski
Cast: Hulk Hogan, Mila Kunis, Don Stark, Garrett Morris, Clint Howard, Ed Begley Jr.
Year: 1996
Purchase From Amazon
Santa With Muscles - Movie Review:
Hulk Hogan plays a millionaire jerk named Blake Thorne. He's made a fortune selling health care products and bodybuilding gear and he occasionally engages in hand to hand combat with his employees for kicks. Blake also likes paintball, which leads to an altercation with the fuzz. While on the lam, Blake heads into the nearest mall, slips into a Santa suit, slides down a garbage chute and bonks his noggin. When he wakes up, he's got amnesia and he thinks he's Santa Claus. The fact that male mall employee, an 'elf' named Lenny (Don Stark), thinks Blake is the new mall Santa doesn't help the situation at all.
Meanwhile, a sinister scientist named Ebner Frost (Ed Begley, Jr.) makes plans to take over the local orphanage (seriously). See, there's a bunch of powerful crystals underneath it that he wants access to and if he has to destroy the orphanage to get to them, so be it. What does he care if orphans like Sarah (Mila Kunis) will be without a home? He needs those crystals to help him breath cleaner air or some such nonsense. Also, the crystals will, and do, explode when dropped for some reason. When Santa Blake learns of this sinister plan, he takes it upon himself to save the kids and the orphanage alike, but of course, he doesn't necessarily do things the way you'd expect him to.
“Santa, you sleigh me!â€
Ho-ho-holy crap this movie is ridiculous, but it's weirdly watchabe in the exact way you'd expect a family-friendly film with Hulk Hogan playing Santa Claus to be. Santa does use his muscles here, those 24-inch pythons flex frequently and all the little Santamaniacs at the orphanage do run wild, but can he act? No, not at all. Still, he's got charisma and he looks crazed enough running about through all of this that it's kind of… endearing? That might not be the right word given Hogan's past but as muscle Santa guy he is at least amusing to watch, particularly when he's beating up thugs in front of a radio shack while a crowd of onlookers cheer him on.
Years ago, a wise, if fairly crazy, guy that I worked with told me that if you have big muscles, you shouldn't wear shirts with sleeves on them. He cut the sleeves off almost all of his shirts and strutted about the building like he was the cock of the walk. Well, in Santa With Muscles, Hulk Hogan, also a crazy guy, has a Santa outfit with no sleeves on it. I'm not sure exactly what the connection is there, only that it exists, and it is very, very real. Also, the cops in this movie use bazookas, which is rad.
The film also has a pretty neat supporting cast. It's amusing seeing both Mila Kunis and Don Stark pop up here a few years before they'd be cast alongside one another in That 70's Show. Stark in particular is quite amusing here, he's just a weird guy who is funny to watch. Kunis just plays your standard, cliché, wide-eyed orphan girl and doesn't do much more than that but she's fine. Ed Begley Jr. hams it up and chews the scenery as the heavy, while Saturday Night Live star Garrett Morris has a small supporting role (he's underused). Also, Clint Howard shows up in this, and Clint Howard is always a good time.
Santa With Muscles - Blu-ray Review:
Mill Creek Entertainment brings Santa With Muscles to Blu-ray on a 25GB disc in an AVC encoded 1080p high definition transfer framed at 1.85.1 widescreen. It looks okay. Not amazing, but okay. Definitely better than DVD could look. The compression artifacts are there, but they aren't overpowering. The image is pretty clean, though naturally grainy in spots. Colors look good, black levels are decent and skin tones look fine. There are no problems with noise reduction or edge enhancement. Detail levels are okay but never reference quality.
The only audio option offered here is a DTS-HD 2.0 Stereo track in English. Optional subtitles are provided in English only. The audio quality is decent enough without being amazing. Levels are properly balanced and dialogue is clean and clear. No problems with any hiss or distortion to note. It's a bit on the flat side but it'll do.
There are no extras on the disc, though inside the case is an insert allowing you digital access to the movie via MovieSpree.
Santa With Muscles - The Final Word:
Santa With Muscles is a ridiculously bad film but masochistic fans of the Hulkster need something to do around the holidays too, right? The Blu-ray looks and sounds okay - never great, but okay - though it has no extra features. It's hard to wholeheartedly recommend something like this, but for the curious, and those who enjoy terrible films, well, here it is on Blu-ray at last.
Posting comments is disabled.
Categories
Collapse
article_tags
Collapse
- album review (218)
- album reviews (274)
- arrow video (271)
- blu-ray (3225)
- blu-ray review (4162)
- comic books (1392)
- comic reviews (872)
- comics (988)
- dark horse comics (484)
- dvd and blu-ray reviews a-f (1969)
- DVD And Blu-ray Reviews G-M (1711)
- DVD And Blu-ray Reviews N-S (1757)
- DVD And Blu-ray Reviews T-Z (878)
- dvd review (2512)
- idw publishing (216)
- image comics (207)
- kino lorber (391)
- movie news (260)
- review (318)
- scream factory (279)
- severin films (298)
- shout! factory (537)
- twilight time (269)
- twilight time releasing (231)
- vinegar syndrome (497)
Latest Articles
Collapse
-
Released by: Grindhouse Releasing
Released on: March 12th, 2024.
Director: William Grefé
Cast: William Shatner, Jennifer Bishop, Ruth Roman, Harold Sakata
Year: 1974
Purchase From Amazon
Impulse – Movie Review:
Directed by the one and only William Grefé, 1974’s Impulse is one of those rare films that allows you to witness what it would be like if a really sweaty William Shatner got mad at a lady carrying balloons. Before that...-
Channel: Movies
04-15-2024, 01:20 PM -
-
Released by: Severin Films
Released on: April 30th, 2024.
Director: Andrew Legge
Cast: Emma Appleton, Stefanie Martini, Rory Fleck Byrne
Year: 2022
Purchase From Amazon
Lola – Movie Review:
Irish filmmakers Andrew Legge’s 2022 movie, ‘Lola’, which was made during Covid-19 lockdowns, is a wildly creative movie made in the found footage style that defies expectations, provides plenty of food for thought and manages to make...-
Channel: Movies
04-10-2024, 04:09 PM -
-
Released by: Vinegar Syndrome
Released on: March 26th, 2024.
Director: Jess Franco, Jorge Grau, Pedro L. Ramírez
Cast: Alberto Dalbés, Evelyne Scott, Fernando Rey, Marisa Mell, Wal Davis, Norma Kastel
Year: 1974
Purchase From Amazon
Spanish Blood Bath – Movie Review:
Vinegar Syndrome brings a triple feature of Spanish horror films of the in this new three-disc Blu-ray boxed set. Here’s what lies inside…
Night Of The...-
Channel: Movies
04-10-2024, 04:02 PM -
-
Released by: Universal Studios
Released on: April 9th, 2024.
Director: Zelda Williams
Cast: Kathryn Newton, Cole Sprouse, Carla Gugino, Joe Chrest, Henry Eikenberry
Year: 2024
Purchase From Amazon
Lisa Frankenstein – Movie Review:
The feature-length directorial debut of Zelda Williams, 20214’s Lisa Frankenstein takes place in 1989 and follows a teenaged girl named Lisa Swallows (Kathryn Newton) who, two years ago, lost her mother...-
Channel: Movies
04-03-2024, 03:40 PM -
-
Released by: Severin Films
Released on: April 30th, 2024.
Director: Gianfranco Giagni
Cast: Roland Wybenga, William Berger, Stéphane Audran
Year: 1988
Purchase From Amazon
Spider Labyrinth – Movie Review:
Professor Alan Whitmore (Roland Wybenga) is an American who works as a Professor of languages studies and has a fascination bordering on obsession with translating pre-Christian religious texts. He was also locked in a closet...-
Channel: Movies
04-03-2024, 03:37 PM -
-
Released by: Mondo Macabro
Released on: April 9th, 2024.
Director: Arizal
Cast: Barry Prima, Eva Arnaz, W.D. Mochtar
Year: 1982
Purchase From Amazon
Special Silencers – Movie Review:
When director Arizal’s 1982 epic begins, we meet a man named Gumilar (W.D. Mochtar), a sinister dude who has constantly bloodshot eyes. He’s meeting with a man about some sort of business deal, but a flashback shows us how some time ago he killed...-
Channel: Movies
04-03-2024, 03:35 PM -