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Promises! Promises!

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    Ian Jane
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  • Promises! Promises!

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    Released by: VCI Entertainment
    Released on: 2/14/2006
    Director: King Donovan
    Cast: Jayne Mansfield, Tommy Noonan, Marie McDonald, Mickey Hargitay
    Year: 1963
    Purchase From Amazon

    The Movie:

    Promises! Promises! is famous not because it's a good movie but because it's one of the earliest mainstream films in which a name actress bares it all for the camera - in this case, it was Jayne Mansfield, often considered a poor man's Marilyn Monroe, who did the honors, and you'd be hard pressed, pun intended, to find someone who looked better in the buff than the late Ms. Jayne.

    Sandy (Mansifled) is married to an eccentric man named Jeff (Tommy Noonan of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes) and together they head off on a cruise for a little much needed rest and relaxation. They soon make fast friends with another couple, Claire (Marie McDonald in her last role - she'd overdose two years later) and King (former Mr. Universe, Mickey Hargitay), who wind up in the room next to them on the boat. As they get to know each other, friendliness increases in inhibitions start to fade away until late one night everyone is wasted and Sandy does a song and dance number, strutting around and showing off her considerable assets to the other three players.

    The next morning, everyone wakes up and memories are a little fuzzy. It soon comes to pass that each of the ladies is pregnant, but, surprise surprise, they're not sure who exactly fathered the child… hilarity ensues (at least in theory).

    The jokes are pretty groan worthy in this one. Even at a quick seventy-five minutes in running time this one plods through its story pretty slowly. Mansfield does look like quite the goddess in this one and her sexy scenes are definitely worth checking out for fans of her feminine form, but that's unfortunately really the only reason to watch this one unless you're a Noonan fan. He does have his moments here, but they're few and far between, he seems to be recycling the same character he had played before and he's not even doing it all that well. The movie is interesting as a piece of sleaze history but not for much else.

    Interestingly enough, this is the movie that apparantly landed Mansfield her Playboy spread. Adding to the trivia factor, Mickey Hargitay, who played King, was actually Mansfield's husband in real life at the time that the film was made, though they did divorce later the same year.

    Video/Audio/Extras:

    The 1.78.1 anamorphic widescreen print is alright - it's not going to blow you away but it doesn't look too bad aside from some obvious stock footage inserts which are a bit worse for wear. Grain is heavy in spots but the framing looks good as do the black levels and contrast settings.

    The English language Dolby Digital Mono soundtrack has some flatness and some background hiss present in spots but you'll always be able to understand the performers. Levels are balanced properly and the sound effects and the film score come through nicely.

    The best extra feature on this disc is a still gallery featuring plenty of shots of Mansfield in her birthday suit. The film's trailer is included as are trailers for a couple of other VCI releases.

    The Final Word:

    Not a particularly good comedy, Promises! Promises! is worth checking out for Mansfield afficionados primarily for the nudity. VCI's DVD looks and sounds alright and while it's light on extras, the still gallery is pretty steamy stuff.
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