Page 1 of 5 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 50

Thread: Making a porno - a photo diary (NSFW)

  1. #1
    Spoon! Dom D's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Melbourne Australia
    Posts
    2,395

    Making a porno - a photo diary (NSFW)

    Okay so I don't have the good NSFW shots here yet as we haven't begun shooting but I plan on adding to this thread for the next year as we swing into production. At the moment this is just kind of a mental dumping ground for me. I just wanted to get thoughts on paper so I remember them later and I figured, hell, given the dodgy sorts that make their way through this board that this story might be of interest to some.

    [url=https://flic.kr/p/2hCBuQe]

    Porn is illegal in Australia. It’s illegal to buy it, it’s illegal to sell it and it’s sure as shit illegal to make it. There is no local industry. There are very few places in the world worse for trying to mount a major porn project than in Australia but we knew from the start that we would have to shoot this film in Australia. I look after my brother who has cerebral palsy 7 days a week and theere's no way I could leave him to go off to LA for two weeks to make my porno dreams come true. Hell, I haven’t had so much as a weekend away from him in about 8 years. Two weeks? No chance…

    But making this film in Oz is tricky. We just don’t have the Talent and I knew my key cast would have to come from the US. So, in the definition of a Mountain to Mohammed scenario we put together this deal: We cover all flights, transfers and accommodation. We put you up in luxury in Melbourne for 10 days and you shoot with us for 5. We pay your quoted rate (quoted rate being quite a different number than the one they actually usually receive day to day) and a few hundred bucks a day on top of that to cover inconvenience. Seems like a solid deal yeah? You’d be surprised. Getting names on paper for this thing has been like pulling teeth. We’re treated with suspicion at every point. And then it’s just so hard to nail things down. I’m 75 emails deep with one agent. I’m writing to her again later tonight. We’re still circling each other.

    *****

    “Research” on this film has been a curious process. Mostly it involves me and the girlfriend sitting on the couch, pen and paper in hand, with a laptop in front of us streaming Pornhub to the big screen while we debate the finer points of casting like “does it affect Lionel’s character if the actor playing him has a 12 inch cock?” (for the record we agreed it did and scratched the actor from our list). It’s a frustrating process because it’s rare that the performers ever stop to talk and so it’s hard to get a feel for their personality or acting range. We quickly realised that brother/sister films are where you go for the serious capital “A” Acting. The perversion in a Fauxcest (I’m up with all the industry lingo man) scene doesn’t play if the cast don’t do the whole
    “What are you doing in my lingerie drawer?!”
    “Ohhh… ah… I was just looking for my phone.”
    “I’m going to tell mum!”
    “Don’t do that. I’ll do anything!”
    “….anything…?”
    scene. Anyway, how well they play that well mined piece of classic material is how you judge your casts thespian skills on a porno.



    I was on the phone to LA with a well known male pornstar and he had this to say “But what is this? I’m sitting here with a 90 page screenplay in front of me. There’s got to be 15 sex scenes in this film. Is it going to run for 7 hours?” I quickly explained that there were no 25 minute sex scenes in my film, we were, I explained, doing this 70s style.

    It was shortly after that that I realised that the term “70s style” means nothing now. Those films are so dead and gone that no one remembers them, not even those in the biz. Porn is now thought of entirely in terms of scenes. You can talk about Misty Beethoven or Tegn films as influences all you like, no one’s seen them. This is a key point, it has taken me by surprise, and I’m still working out the correct shorthand to sketch in my film for people I need to convince of it’s merits.

    *****

    Pornstars get real busy around September/October. It’s award season with the deadline for AVN Awards falling on the 30th of October. Do not underestimate how seriously this is taken. This makes communication difficult. One of our key contacts we thought we’d have going in was a local Mega Star in the porn scene who could hook us up with contacts. Never really happened. September/October is not spent in front of a laptop answering emails if you’re a Star. It’s spent being gangbanged six ways from Sunday because no way is she letting anyone else win the years top performer award. It’s a different kind of life…

    *****

    The first, and most difficult task, on this film was to engage a male pornstar. My male lead needs to be an experienced professional in the industry, a capable actor and, most importantly, funny. Tricky… Now as Alex K will happily tell you, I am not “With It” and so with that set of criteria I knew there were only two names in the biz who could play this part. It had to be James Deen or it had to be Tommy Pistol. Well it turns out Deen got #MeToo’ed into oblivion and is now retired and farming Capybara on a small ranch in Colorado (or something… I’m vague on the details). Meanwhile Tommy Pistol is 43 and sports a magnificent Dad Bod. He also, and this is key, doesn’t reply to my emails.

    [url=https://flic.kr/p/2hCAwgb]

    It’s a well known bit of trivia that male pornstars get paid a mere 70% that their female counterparts command (#feminism). It’s an odd point that is seemingly accepted without question. However, the males are as in demand, have a rarer skill set and are outnumbered 10-1 in the biz. Porn, it’s where the laws of Supply and Demand Economics go to die.

    *****

    “Logan or Seth…. Seth or Logan….” This circular refrain occupied a large proportion of my waking moments a few months back. Seth was Seth Gamble. Logan being Logan Pierce. One of them, god willing, destined to be the leading man in my film but which one? Seth is the more famous; the one who will help sell the film once done (and boy do I need to sell this film. Every cent I have and more is going into this). While Logan… I just had a damned good feeling about Logan. I spoke with Agents and both were in budget and both available. No help there. We contacted an LA producer contact who had worked with both for advice. No help there either. Both, we were told, were professionals, both get the job done. In the end I couldn’t decide and made it a committee decision. I think they made the right decision. It took a while, it took a long while, but we got our first choices signature on a contract. Fist pump!

    [url=https://flic.kr/p/2hrmE7c]

    I’m currently building the credits for the film in 3DS Max. It takes roughly an hour to render a single frame. There’s 24 frames in a second so it’s takes a day for a second of footage all going well- things frequently don’t go well. The credits run for 2 1/2 minutes. While rendering, all 32 threads of my CPU are running at 100%. There’s a corner of the room that is appreciably warmer at the moment. Probably that doesn’t matter… but I’m excited to see my next electricity bill…

    ****

    A few times in this I’ve talked about “contacts” in LA like I’m a hooked up dude who runs the scene. Such is very much not the case. I know no one. I can do every job on a film set from preproduction to post but I have no porn industry experience. My girlfriend and I knew going in that we would need help from someone in the know. It so happened that years ago my films sometimes played at a little festival called the Sexy International Film Festival and I’d gotten to know the guy who ran it a little. A very little. I hadn’t spoken to him in about 10 years. I’d switched from films to photos and he’d switched from festivals to running Sexpo, a huge event where they run stage shows, hosted sex shops and, importantly, brung out porn talent from the USA to sign posters and DVD boxes. Long story short, told him about the project, shared the script and he’s in and invaluable throughout. When I say “our contacts” I mean his contacts.

    *****

    Yesterday I lost my lead actress. I had been chasing her agent for a few weeks. There was a contract that was apparently signed but I hadn’t received it. Lost on the interwebs. I’m not in a position to be making demands so I was pussy footing around “I don’t think I’ve received that attachment. Can you send it through again please” and occasionally I’d get an assurance that it was on it’s way. Then yesterday I got the message that she doesn’t want to be in it anymore. More than that….

    You know how I said there are few performers here? Well there are some. Some of them are even fucking hot (see below) and I was relying on them to fill out the cast.

    [url=https://flic.kr/p/2hCxNzb]

    Currently they all do porn on the side while Escorting brings in the real money. One thing I knew coming in was that at least I could count on the Aussies. They’re all shooting shit in hotels with handycams and I knew (itallics again for emphasis) that when I had the Americans in place I would contact them, tell them that the biggest Aussie porn flick ever was under preproduction, that we want YOU to come fuck famous US stars and get your underappreciated names in lights and I knew that they would flock to me. Even now when I’ve been frozen out, all emails unanswered, all calls unreturned, I still believe they must want to be part of this project. Why make porn if you don’t want to be part of a porno spectacular? I have no answers but bottom line is, it turns out, I can’t make this film in Australia.

    *****

    So everything is being started from scratch. Our small production team of 3 is off to LA in April. What about your brother Dom? Still very much a factor but I’m training people to do without me for a couple weeks. Walls have been ripped out of my mothers place to make room for hoists. I’m teaching feeding techniques. Honestly, I get that I'm being stupid and I don’t know why this film is so important to me. I thought making a period accurate 40s noir on a $10k budget was ambitious but that’s nothing compared to the difficulties what we’re coming up against on this film. The universe does not want this film made it seems. But the more push back I get the more key it feels.

    Anyway feel free to talk to me about porn. Actors who should be engaged, common mistakes filmmakers make that you hate, whatever.
    "Never let the fact that they are doing it wrong stop you from doing it right." Hyman Mandell.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Mark Tolch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Canadia
    Posts
    8,666
    I see "one hour render" and remember my college days. Those credits will take forever. Good for you for being so patient.

  3. #3
    I'd have quit by now. No wonder nobody makes narrative porn anymore, it sounds like sheep herding.

    Could you get busted bringing the footage back into Oz, or would that be irrelevant in this age of digital files?
    I'm bitter, I'm twisted, James Joyce is fucking my sister.

  4. #4
    Spoon! Dom D's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Melbourne Australia
    Posts
    2,395
    Quote Originally Posted by agent999 View Post
    Could you get busted bringing the footage back into Oz, or would that be irrelevant in this age of digital files?
    I would think so. At least I'm not going to risk it. While in LA I will need to find a fast internet connection and upload all the footage to the cloud. I hear you can find GB internet speeds out there. Once that's done I'll post the hard drives to myself.

    I'd have quit by now. No wonder nobody makes narrative porn anymore, it sounds like sheep herding.
    More like herding cats. If other people were making narrative porn then I probably wouldn't be driven to. I think it will be all smooth (smoother) sailing now that we're an LA production.
    "Never let the fact that they are doing it wrong stop you from doing it right." Hyman Mandell.

  5. #5
    Spoon! Dom D's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Melbourne Australia
    Posts
    2,395
    Quote Originally Posted by Mark Tolch View Post
    I see "one hour render" and remember my college days. Those credits will take forever. Good for you for being so patient.
    I hear back on Transformers they were rendering a frame a day. I'm very used to watching the little render cubes dance acrosss the screen these days. It's hypnotic, like the old Windows screensavers.
    "Never let the fact that they are doing it wrong stop you from doing it right." Hyman Mandell.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Lalala76's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    3,375
    I thought the lesbian website "Girlsoutwest" was based and filmed in Australia, at least I think the "stars" are Australian.

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2012
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    1,758
    interesting read. best of luck

  8. #8
    Spoon! Dom D's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Melbourne Australia
    Posts
    2,395
    Quote Originally Posted by Lalala76 View Post
    I thought the lesbian website "Girlsoutwest" was based and filmed in Australia, at least I think the "stars" are Australian.
    It is and they are. They're flying under the radar a bit but I would bet that bank accounts etc are based overseas. My producer has had a bit to do with them. He tells me those girls are not really going to be helpful as they're kind of militantly lesbian.
    "Never let the fact that they are doing it wrong stop you from doing it right." Hyman Mandell.

  9. #9
    Plus, the charming antipodean phrase 'swamp donkeys' springs to mind...
    I'm bitter, I'm twisted, James Joyce is fucking my sister.

  10. #10
    Spoon! Dom D's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    Melbourne Australia
    Posts
    2,395
    Quote Originally Posted by agent999 View Post
    Plus, the charming antipodean phrase 'swamp donkeys' springs to mind...
    I think that's a British term. I had to look it up anyway as I've not heard It. The local equivalent would be Bushpig.
    "Never let the fact that they are doing it wrong stop you from doing it right." Hyman Mandell.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •